I've never been so proud!

Monday was a proud moment in my new life as a dad. I was driving home from work and called my mom to ask how Shane was doing in "Nana Daycare," and oh did my mom have a story to tell.

Shane shot her with baby butt buckshot.

My son likes to do what I call "the daily double." He'll loudly poop his diaper, wait five to ten minutes and then unload again to top it off. Many a time, I made the mistake of changing a diaper only to have Shane christen his new diaper minutes (sometimes seconds) after I was done. Now, I just wait five minutes to make sure he's processed everything and I usually avoid my son's tomfoolery. My mom did not know this.

Shane filled his diaper in his typically explosively audible manner sometime Monday morning. Mom, being the good mother she is, immediately started the clean up. Moments after the new diaper was secured, Shane smiled up at her eyes bright with joy about his surprise for her. Mom caught a whiff pretty quickly and started to change Shane again.

Here's where she made her mistake.

Like any reasonable person, Mom assumed that since Shane had already pooped not once, but twice, there was no chance that he'd go for a trifecta. Babies just can't hold THAT much poop!  Boy, was she wrong. She was moving too slowly from a false sense of security when Shane blasted her with his remaining payload. On the phone, Momma kept repeating herself over and over. She'd never seen poop fly with that sort of force. Shane was lying on his back in front of her and managed to nail her shirt in the spray pattern. It was unbelievable!  She rushed to clean up my boy and change her clothes.

Refreshed, Mom returned to another nasty surprise. She was cleaning up around the changing area when she noticed her socks were getting wet. They were absorbing something. Something...smelly...and wet on the floor.

My son may look almost completely like my wife, but Shane has my colon. THAT'S MY BOY!