Changes changing

Shane's getting more regular in the hours he keeps.  He tends to fall asleep somewhere in the 8:00 - 10:00 range each night. Then, he like to wake up between 1:00 and 3:00 and then he usually wakes up three hours later from whenever the last awakening (4:00-6:00).  At that point, he usually falls back asleep for a 7:00-9:00 wake-up call, but all bets are off. Each feeding usually takes between 45 minutes to an hour to change, burp, feed, and then lull back to sleep. While Shane likes to poop and re-poop after changings, my biggest challenge is to keep him awake to finish his bottle and make sure he burps.

Hunger is what wakes Shane up, so making sure he's stuffed is the sure route to more sleep. However, the act of sucking lulls the little man very quickly and he can go from an arms-windmilling, legs-kicking crier to a bleary-eyed sleeper. Even burping can put the runt to sleep. I've tried walking, diaper changes, little dabs of cold water on his cheek, but when that boy wants to sleep, he's going to go to sleep. Plus, I'm not about to do anything 'extreme' because he's a baby! They're supposed to sleep. So why does he almost always wake back up once I put him in the crib? Thankfully, he goes back to sleep pretty quickly, but it does add to my 'up-time' between sleeps.

For me, this means that I normally have a choice to make every night when Shane drops off to sleep: sleep or freedom. During the day, I rarely have time to do any activity that cannot be interrupted. I read, watch TV, or play PuzzleQuest 2. At night, I have the opportunity to sit down, write, play a more involving game, or try and contact people. Whatever I choose to do will eat up time in my sleep window, but my biological clock still refuses to think of 8:00-9:00 as a viable bed time. I've tried, but I end up checking the clock ever now and then to see if my body snuck off to sleep without me noticing (nope). Last night, I was looking forward to my free time, so I hopped on steam and started looking through my games library. I must've started half a dozen different games only to turn them off after 5-10 minutes. I had the time, but absolutely nothing grabbed my attention. My dad put it best to describe life with a baby: "The littlest man is in charge." My free time does not feel like my own. I had it, but I couldn't bring myself to really do anything with it. It's not depression, it's just a huge shift in priorities. I found myself thinking "What would I get out of this game?" and "What can I walk away from this with?"

Kids are a huge paradigm shift. They mess up your brain!

Quick event log for posterity.
-Doctor's office called about insurance not wanting to cover Shane's checkups on Friday. I called back and they said the system may not have updated and they'll check again in a few weeks. Hopefully things work out, because a $15 copay can become much much much bigger when insurance isn't involved. I've read the claims, so I know. It's funny how a piece of bloodwork would cost $300 dollars, but on the insurance bill it always mentions a "minus the non-allowed amount" or something or other. Then it lists my insurance company as paying something around the tune of $50. I don't understand all of the insurance voodoo, but it reads to me as I would be paying lots and lots of money, but the insurance company gets a heft discount. I never used my insurance very much before marriage and children, but damn I'm happy I have it now.

-I've had one student who's emailed me several times while I've been out asking me for help, because 'he doesn't understand the way [the substitute] teaches it.' What worries me, is that he's emailed me about the same topic over the course of two-three weeks. That could mean that my class is getting very far behind, and I'm still accountable for all of their VGLA binders. Now, I could be wrong. This particular student is a great kid, but he does have trouble with math. However, it's not the sort of thing that I want to be hearing. I already semi-"got in trouble" for leaving too generic sub plans. I'd left all of my work books, some worksheets, and units I wanted covered and planned on emailing more plans in after I'd left. I never heard back from the sub other than "it's fine" and then got an email from one of my AP's telling me my plans were "unacceptable."  Looking back, I'd assumed my sub was probably more competent than I should have, but that also worries me. In some ways, I'll be glad to get back to work just so I don't have to worry about what's happening at my job when I'm not there. If Carrie decides to be a stay at home mom, my job security is going to be paramount. I feel half unemployed (but minus much of the stress) sitting around at home changing diapers and replacing pacifiers all day.

-Pizza! WOOOOOOO!  Playoffs are today. I'm rooting for Packer and Jets so that both the 6th seeded teams make it to the playoffs. Then, I'm hoping the Packers win it because I really don't like the Jets. Aaron Rodgers led me to 2nd place in my fantasy league, so he's my home boy for this season. Plus, I think it's interesting that the Packers don't have a single manager and are instead owned by stock-holders from their city.  Kickoff is at 3, and Carrie and I will be eating pizza until then. Football season has made staying home for baby-care much more interesting.