Foster Kids

My parents switched from emergency foster care into long term. Shane's met kids of all shapes and sizes over the past year! Now he's got three 'cousins' who should be around for at least the rest of this school year. All three love him to death and are as hyper as kids can be. They arrived at my parents right before the first weekend in December and Shane's 1st birthday party was one of my first times to meet them.



For Christmas, I took all of them out to see Dolphin Tale. The gift was twofold: it gave my parents a break, and the kids got to see a movie! I dropped Shane off with Nana, and then rounded up the three kids. The kids wanted to see Puss N Boots (again), but they were late getting out the door and then traffic stopped for 10 minutes as over a hundred police officers commandeered the road (I'm assuming it was a police funeral. I counted at least forty motorcycle cops in the vanguard and gave up counting cruisers after I realized there wasn't going to be a quick end of them). When we did make it to the theater, there was just enough time to hustle the kids into Dolphin Tale. It was a typical sad-at-first-but-ends-happy movie, but well done. I was worried there would be a real intense scene early on that would shut the kids down. Thankfully, that never happened. I was surprised how little the kids knew.  One of them looked up at me and asked what "delighted" meant.

Afterwards, my mom called and asked me to go pick up papusas with the kids on the way home. She called ahead and I drove into the city to find a hidden papuseria. The 'restaurant' had three tables, a counter with stools, a couple coin candy machines, and a electronic jukebox. For the next forty minutes, the man behind the counter cooked our order and laughed at my attempts to wrangle children. They were hyper as balls after sitting through a movie! I had them make faces in a mirror, practiced my Spanish, settled arguments, and prayed for the food to be ready quickly! I like the kids, but they are a handful! At one point, a woman who worked there asked one of the kids if I was the father in Spanish. I told her no and then stopped. What was I to them? Should I call myself an Uncle? Should I just say "they're foster kids I'm helping out with?"  I settled for "tio especial" (special uncle) and hoped that it didn't sound like I was a child abductor. I figure most Spanish speakers in America are used to an occasional white dude butchering their language in an attempt to communicate.

Seriously though, I'm not sure what I should refer to myself as to these kids. Each of them has a different father, their older siblings (who were previously taken by Child Protective Services) were also likely to have different fathers, and I don't know how many adults were in and out of their lives between their mother and whoever else was around. I just know that the kids had it rough, they're behind in school, and it's going to take a lot of adjusting to my Caspar the Friendly Ghost shade of white family. Their mother spoke only Spanish in the home and....well, Spanish isn't spoken in my parent's house. It'll be an interesting school year over there.

The movie ended up being a three and a half hour outing with travel time. I was exhausted! I have a new theory on kids now.  Babies start off being very demanding, but don't talk back or run around. This is to accustom new parents to doing a lot of work and cleaning up a lot of boogers and messes. By the time the kid starts talking back, the parents are used to dealing with their kids crap (pun intended), but they have so much love and care invested that they're ready to see the kid through to the end. From there, the parent slowly grows used to their child as their child grows used to them so that they have the endurance to deal with whatever may come.

My hat is off to foster parents. They get the kids and all of the troubles and baggage the kids built up without any time to adjust. It's x kids all at once and whatever age, SPLAT! Make it work!

If anyone can make it work though, it's my mom. She's not perfect, but she's got a huge heart for kids and these foster kids couldn't have landed in a better spot in my opinion. I'll do whatever I can to help from time to time, but my family with Carrie and Shane has to be my first priority.