Stories from school

There are always stories when you're a teacher.

Always.

Most of the time, there are so many 'plot lines' going on around me that some incidents blur and fade together. They become indistinct and lost memories before I have a chance to write them down. Others rely on knowing the characters (students) involved to the point that the stories just aren't as funny to someone not "in the know."

I've got a few stories this week I'm actually going to try and write down before they are forgotten. We'll see what I can get down before Shane wakes up from his late nap.


Incident #1 - Who Does That?

Part of being a special educator is being able to keep a straight face and react to odd situations as if they were normal.

During a test, I had to kick one of my students out into the hallway. I put him around the corner of the door and I stood next to the doorway so he could easily hear me read the questions to the class aloud if he needed it. The class mostly finished quizzing and I poked my head out to call my exiled student back in.

"I can't!"

My first thought: "Yes, you can. Get your ass up and get in the class."

What I actually said: "Why not?"

"I can't get up."

The student then looked down at his shoes. My eyes followed his line of sight and I saw the problem.

His shoelaces were tied together.

"Mr. M, I can't untie them."

Those laces were tied tight. It took me a few moments to undo the knot.

Afterwards, I looked my student in the eye, "You're lucky this happened outside where no one saw it. This would be really embarrassing. Go back in quietly, have a seat, and don't tie your laces together again." (It's middle school. Kids can be brutal.)

Who ties their own shoes laces together and gets stuck in the middle of a locker pod? Who does that?

Incident #2 - Midriff at the conference table

Meetings are a large part of my job. There's paperwork, conferences, and IEPs, oh my!

This week, I've had lots of meetings, but only one where a parent showed up showing some belly button.

This sort of thing used to happen to me more often when I worked with expelled students. During the day, the kids wore uniforms. After school, students would show up to events dressed like underage hoochie-mamas. It was impossible to say anything about it when the mom would come up behind them falling out of her shirt.

But I digress.

Currently, I'm in what I'd call a 'preppy school.' The dress code is enforced, and (for the most part) we keep our middle schoolers looking like real middle schoolers.

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Crap. I heard a moan on the monitor. I think I'm going to have to cut this here.