What a Saturday

What do you when your wife has been feeling ill for several days and your son wakes up at 4 AM on a Saturday with a bad earache? 

You go on a family trip to the urgent care, of course!

These things never happen during normal office hours. Shane had an ear infection, and Carrie's throat looked lovely (but was strep negative).

We dropped off our prescriptions and then Shane and I went to his first U8 soccer game! He's lucky number 13.

Shane was happy to be in uniform and with his team.

The giant praying mantis he pulled off a lady's butt was bonus.

Shane is not afraid of bugs. He had the whole team chasing after him and reveled in it.

It was a hot day, but we had shade, water, and teammates.

Shane started off strong. With less kids on each field it was much less chaotic than before.

It spiralled downhill after the first couple of minutes. It was hot and the orange team kids knew what they were doing. 

Shane noticed.

"[The orange team players] are too good. I'll never beat them!" 

Shane wandered off the field, so his coach substituted in another player who was resting. Shane was shocked to realize he couldn't run away and then return at his leisure.

The rest of the day was played under an ever-intensifying protest. Shane went out a couple more times and played and subsequently complained....

...until the last time the teams took the fields and Shane decided to play statue.

He stayed out there and stood still and angry faced for almost fifteen minutes. He was immune to any encouragement and I didn't want to threaten or walk out onto the field to drag him off. 

So I left him there. The coach tried to check in a couple of times, but decided to let it be and called in another kid who wanted to play. "Why's Shane not playing?" One of his teammates asked.

Shane melted down afterward. I was ready to supply a "reflective guilt trip," but Shane seemed so lost in anger and self-loathing I went positive instead. The day was the perfect storm of a longer game, heat, little sleep, an ear ache, hunger, and frustration.  

A team mom walked up and asked if Shane wanted a popsicle. I said sure, if he'd take it.

Shane batted the bag away.

He refused to let me hold his hand, he refused to move, and would have stayed on the field in the heat snarling if I had not picked him up and carried him off. Believe me, my patience was worn and trampled. I planned to stay kind, ride out Shane's rage, pick up prescriptions, and take Shane home for food and rest. 

Shane didn't make it easy. He refused to leave the car when we pulled up at CVS. Then, he tried squirm his wrist/hand out of my grip when I gave him no choice, but to go in. When we got in line, he tried to make a break for it. I lost my place in line, dropped him in a chair, and said "Don't. Move."

Twenty minutes later in a slow and long line, I found out our prescriptions were still not ready three hours later. I could have been mad, but I wasn't. The technician was having a rough day. She was apologetic and stressed. I recognized her from the normal CVS we frequented. It turns out she was subbing in and in "culture shock." I complimented her CVS and asked if we could transfer the prescription. "Yes! And tell them Emily sent you! I'm so sorry!" She wrote the number down for me to call.

The line stretched out behind us.

I sat down next to Shane to make the call. He harrumphed and tried to jump out of the chair while I was on the line (Tried and failed....wrestling is one of the best things I ever did).

Shane was still scowling as we walked down the aisles a minute later. If there was a ever a time I was more tempted to tan his hide I could not tell you what it was. 

However, what did I want Shane to learn from all of this? What was the goal? To know it's okay to lash out when wrath rises? What sort of man did I want to see? To be? Would he know my response, whatever it would be, was out of love?

I squeezed Shane's hand as we walked out and used a firm voice, "In Jesus, I am stronger than my anger. I have every reason to be mad right now, but I refuse."

Somehow, that deflated him. The ride back was quiet, but not harsh. Shane asked for a piggy back when we parked and I carried him in. I accidentally knocked over a Lincoln Log house, and Shane said, "That's okay, Daddy."

Lesson accomplished, I guess. The next game can only go better.

The rest of the day was easier. I made Carrie and Shane pause Zootopia when the other pharmacy called to let me know their meds were ready (Great movie, by the way! Shane's always funny when he dances to the credits!).

Shane snuggled up against Carrie around 7:00 PM and passed out. She let him snore on her for an hour before I picked him up and deposited him in bed.