Shane's first cold

We knew it would happen one day. Dr. Google tells me that this is normal. Kids get colds all the time. That doesn't mean it's been fun.

Shane woke up with snot gurgling and burgling in his pipes. He was coughing and unhappy overall. The boy has been fussy since. As I was getting ready for church, I stopped to feed him. He greedily downed four ounces and then when I went to burp him, Shane projectile vomited all over me. It was my second shower of the day (and the couch's first).  I don't know how, but the boy soaked me so thoroughly from head to toe that it soaked through to my underwear. Gross, eh?

It's been a rough day, but I'll be telling all of this as a humorous anecdote come...well, come this blog! I think it's a pretty funny story! Originally, I was going to write a long detailed post, but then I remembered: this is the internet! If it's longer than a misspelled sentence fragment involving several acronyms most of the denizens of the net will pass it on by. (Does that mean writing with correct grammer and complete sentences will prevent 'undesirables' from reading something? Hmmm....)

Hopefully, my misfortune is good for a laugh or some of you older types can fondly remember raising your own children with all of the bits about throw-up, pee and poop conveniently whited out of your memory.

UPDATE:
I've been doing laundry since I got home (in between running back and forth to meet the demands of my tiny master), and I had a prophetic moment.  The washer wasn't quite full and instead of running it, I figured "I'm sure I'll find some dirty clothes if I look around."  I went upstairs and decided to change out of my church clothes and throw those in since they were wear-to-work quality and Shane has been using them as tissue paper. It's over 80 outside and most of my shorts are already being washed, so I donned the kilt (there's nothing better for hot weather if you're man/confident enough to wear one).

It lasted about 3 minutes.

I was holding Shane in one arm and I had just poured a drink to take downstairs in the other hand. Shane started a coughing fit. I remember feeling sorry for the boy and then another thought popped into my head: "Man, that would suck if he sneezed right into my tea."  I remember holding him close in my arm and lifting my drink hand up so that the drink was over his 'sneeze threat zone,' but the rest of my arm was in range if I need to hug him or re-balance.

That's when he struck.  Cough, cough BL@RGH! I just stood there like an idiot. Vomit cascaded down my shirt, my kilt, and into a big pool on the new carpet.

Thankfully, I was standing right next to the half-filled dirty laundry basket I'd brought down.

Oh, and the tea was safe.

UPDATED UPDATE:
The kid just poo'd too.