Oh, Jama

There's always a chance for mayhem when Jama calls.

Carrie is upstairs cooking dinner, and I'm downstairs taking care of Shane when my cell phone rings. Jama is calling to warn me that Mother's Day is coming up.

Jama: "Mikey, now you be sure to get Carrie a good present. This is her first Mother's Day!

We talk back and forth for a little bit. I assure her that I have something planned.

Jama: "Well all right, Mikey. I just don't want you to find some ribbon and wrap that in a bow around your tally-whacker and call that a gift!"

Those may not be her exact words, but in my defense it's hard to breathe when you're laughing your guts off because your grandmother felt like she had to warn you about gift-wrapping your penis for a Mother's Day present.

But she didn't stop there....

Jama: "There was one time your Papa (aka Grandpa) couldn't find a card, so do you know what he did? He..." 

...and I'll let your imagination fill in the rest of that blank!

Oh, Jama. I'm looking forward to when Shane's old enough to really get to know you, ha ha. I know I learned many colorful expressions that my mom did her best to avoid explaining to me until I was old enough to figure it out myself!

Have I mentioned I love my family? They're a hoot.