Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.I try to avoid cursing, but I don't believe that's the focus of 'unwholesome talk.' I think unwholesome talk is anything that tears another person down or sets them up for a fall: Insults, flattery, lies, malicious criticism, etc.
I want to be a 'people builder.' I want my words to help, to heal and to teach. I try to keep this in mind whenever I open my mouth (not that it always happens). I also believe this verse goes beyond "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Tact is preferred, but sometimes to be nice in the moment is not nice in the long haul.
One example I use in class: I tell my students that people try to tear down people around them to make them look or feel better by comparison. When they are done, they are no better off. However, they have created a mire and left hurt people in their wake. It's quick and easy to do.
Instead, people should try to build up the people around them. They should look at life as a team sport. Athletes improve when they have good people to practice with and then they play better when they have a good team around them. For my students, if they build up those around them they will make friends, lose enemies and create a classroom they want to come to (or at least don't mind).
In my own life, this verse is key to how I want to interact with my family. I want to thank and show appreciation to my wife whenever I can. I want to praise Shane when he shows love or learns something. Whenever I am angry, I try to stop and think before I speak. A harsh word can destroy in a moment what takes weeks to build. What is really making me angry? Is it my pride? If so, it is worthless. Is it something dangerous? If so, I should speak out, but with tact and the end goal in sight.
I'm a work in progress. Lord, be with me and see me through.
Wow! Great wisdom here! Thank you!
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