It was the last game of the season for Shane and I. Everyone else has one game to go, but there's a wrestling tournament I'm coaching and helping with next weekend. Shane will be sad to miss out on pizza.
The game started out great. The team was down players, so Shane was set to play an extra six minute round. He got called on a pair of pushes that weren't really pushes (he was trying to swipe the ball) and had to sit down for one minute of a period, but I caught him walking off the court at half time to say, "You're doing great! I'm so proud! Have fun!"
Shane was coy and didn't want to look at me, because "we're going to lose!" It's true that the team was down at half time, but I told Shane they were still in the game. Plus, it didn't matter if they won or lost. The goal was to have fun and get better!
It went great until there were about 9 minutes left. Shane got head butted on accident (he was trying to come from behind to swipe a ball and the kid backed up). I'm sure it hurt. He bawled. There was a smidgen of blood on his lip. The refs stopped the game and the coach came over. They brought him over to me and I said, "He's fine!" He wasn't bleeding and there was no mark. I told Shane to, "go get a drink of water and swish swish," as a placebo.
The part that killed me was when Shane refused to go back out. Both coaches tried to have him go out for the final 6 minute. The game was super close and Shane was a much better defender than the kid they did send out (who was also acting exhausted). I tried to signal encouragement and then threats from the sideline to "Get out there!" Shane refused.
I was incredibly disappointed. I don't care what happens on the court as long as Shane gives an effort. Refusing to go out and acting shy when the team needs you? I've seen Shane laugh off bigger bumps! He was playing and laughing on the bench before they asked him! I felt like he'd chickened or at least opted out.
That put a sour note on the end. Shane could tell I was upset from across the court. His team ended up winning without him.
The team celebrated, got snack, and Shane got a star for sportsmanship. I didn't agree with that at all, but I didn't say anything till we got to the car.
I let Shane know that I was disappointed. I thought he'd let his team down by not going out. I told him again he did well in the first half and it was not about winning or losing, but being part of a team and getting better.
Well, he cried and I let him.
I was not harsh. I did not raise my voice, but I wanted to hold him accountable. I let him know that I felt: 1) he made a mistake, 2) everyone does, and 3) mistakes are part of learning. I told him that God can use anything to make you better.
Shane's come a long way. It was a sad note to end the season on, but I think he's learned a lot. It was a good experience.
It's not like Shane was grounded all day afterward, either. He went to a Sam's house for FOUR hours. I dropped him off and thought I'd be back in an hour to hang out and help. The boys played so well that whenever I texted everyone let it roll. If I'd known he was going to be busy for so long I could have done all sorts of things! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous about leaving Shane at a new(er) house, but he's got to be independent at some point.
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