Saturday, July 28, 2012

Loved and Hated: Life as a Parent

Shane and I wrestled around the couch for 15 minutes today. There were lots of laughs and giggles. It started when I laid down and pretended to snore. Shane dashed over! He 'woke' me up and then dragged himself up onto my chest. We made faces and practiced locating our eyes and noses until he wedged himself between me and the cushions. Then the boy kicked me off my own couch! My beard is a devious weapon though and it particularly tickles on the back of a neck of when giving a raspberry. It was one of those glorious moments of fun where my son is beaming and I feel like I'm the right parent for the task.

It's not always like that.

Shane and I have the love and hate relation that defines most parent/child bonds. Shane hates it when I don't let him: A) run in the street, B) eat the kitty litter, C) grab the dog's dong, D) run barefoot through a chigger infested lawn in the triple digit heat, etc, etc. Sometimes, it seems like there's more things I do that Shane doesn't like than he loves about me.

Diapers are not meant to be worn for days.

No hands in the toilet.

We don't pull cat or dog tails. None of them are meant to be sat upon like a horse and ridden or bounced on, either.

Yes, there is a stairwell and no, I'm not going to let you cartwheel down it. (Actually, I've taught Shane to 'sit and scoot' and he's pretty into it at this point, so this doesn't scare me like it used to).

Parenting requires setting limits for your child until they can set reasonable limits for themselves. Shane does not want limits and feels like they are totally unnecessary for him. Whenever I do say the dreaded 'No' or pull him away from hitting the TV with the remote Shane makes his displeasure very clear. It's also evident when we go to Nana's house and he cries when he sees me. I'm the jerk who straps him into the car and makes him wait half an hour to see Nana as I drive him over. Plus, I take him from Nana for another agonizing 30 minute car ride home.

It's all part and parcel of being a good parent. There have to be limits, and your child is probably not going to like them. Maybe one day Shane will read this when he's older and say "Really? That bothered me?" He's quite the strong-willed child now!

Thankfully, there's enough other things I apparently do right that I see my son's love too. He wakes up to me singing "Good Morning to you!," I'm usually the face he sees before and after naps, he calms down when I sing, I take him outside the most, and almost every night I sing to him and lull him to sleep. Those moments make everything worth it. I'm looking forward to when Shane's a little older and he can communicate and think logically about cause and effect. I hope he doesn't lose the enthusiasm and energy he shows now. He wears me out, but I see enough love that it's worth it and I have high hopes for the future.

Hang in there, Shane. It's like Mark Twain once said, "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Shane, I hope one day you'll be my age and wondering "How much work is parenting really!!?! My dad made this look easy!"

Plus, that'll mean I have grandkids and I get to be the spoiler.

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