A Shane Post (since I don't do enough of those)

I got to feel like a good father this morning. Shane and I played, played and played some more. He loves running around the basement. I have a video of him running himself dizzy I should probably post.

Thursday, Carrie was gone from 7:30 AM to 11:00 PM last night on business. To help pass some of the time, Shane and I visited Nana's house. I admit, sometimes I am jealous of Nana's power over my son. He loves her. My mom is the most natural baby person I've ever met. Where I get tired of playing the same game over and over, she seems to get energized by the presence of a baby.

And Shane reacts to her. I've seen the tears and fits to prove it when I try to take him out of her arms. Shane will laugh and play for me, but if Nana's around he wants her to hold him and Dada to go take a break elsewhere.

While Carrie was out,  I decided to spoil Shane and take him to the pool. You would think this would make me #1 Dada. However, I had to drop by my parents house first to pick up my cellphone (plus, they had the pool passes and I wanted to get in for free). Shane saw Nana. When I packed him up to go to the pool with my Dad and the foster kids, he went ballistics. There were tears galore. Shane did not want to leave Nana with the evil Dada.

He cried the whole way to the pool.

Thankfully, it was only a 3 minute commute. I got to be Super-Dada for running around in the baby pool with him for an hour. There was one time early on where Shane fell and I didn't react fast enough, but he learned to really like the water. I want to do it again, so he doesn't only equate leaving Nana's house as me tearing him away from Baby Paradise.

Ironically, Nana apologizes to me sometimes for feeling she's not been the grandparent she wants to be! She feels like she devotes a lot of time to the foster kids, and not as much as she wants to Shane. Nana, you are super. The boy loves you dearly. I'm going to have to try and up my game so that he doesn't always freak out when I come to pick him up. It's heart-rending sometimes. I feel like my son is blessed to be a part of my family, because I had such good parents. My prayer is that I can create the same family atmosphere for Shane that I had growing up. No family is ever perfect, but my clan bonded. Thank you, Nana, for all of your help with child care when Carrie and I are trying to work and make ends meet.

My dad had a funny comment as Shane was bawling. It was something along the lines of "Get used to disappointing your kids. You'll be doing it your whole life!" Out of context it sounds cynical. If you know my dad, you'd see the wisdom and humor behind it. Kids will always want things, including things they should not have. I'm going to be a bully in Shane's mind every time I prevent him from jabbing a fork in an electric socket or I pull him away from a hot stove. At 16, I'm going to disappoint him when a corvette never shows up in the driveway. I love my son, and I'll do what's best for him...even when it's the last thing he wants.

Boy, I don't know if I could have sold that line to the 2 year old version of me. Life's funny like that, isn't it?