Yesterday, Shane and I drove through 45 minutes of backed up traffic to make it to his Dr's appointment. He was not a happy camper by the time we arrived. He was ready to runnnnn in typical Shane fashion when we walked in. Carrie really liked this pediatric center, but it was my first time to visit with Shane. I was a little surprised when they handed me a questionnaire. The form said M-Chart or something similar to that at the top. It did not list a purpose, but I immediately recognized it for what it was: autism screening.
It was a little worrisome, but I figure it must be a common procedure nowadays. Score one for the autism community on promoting early intervention. Shane does not present the way a typical kid on the spectrum does. I knew all the right answers, but I was honest. There was only question I couldn't answer 'correctly.'
"Does your child imitate faces that you make?"
No. Shane never sits still and is too busy trying to do what he wants to do. If you stick out your tongue, he will laugh and try to pull it an extra foot out of your mouth, but he does not stick out his tongue in reply.
When the doctor came in, she grilled me on my Baby's life. How much milk does Shane drink in a day? How many we diapers? Poop diapers? Wake-up time? Bed time? It turns out I knew most of the information fairly quickly (shocking.), but there was one area the doctor became intensely interested in.
"How many words does your son speak?"
"A few."
Shane is delayed verbally. He makes noises, says lots of "uh ohs," and gremlin talks. However, his main modes of interaction involve lots of gestures, pointing, laughing, and crying. This worries the doctor. Now I'm not sure if they pulled out the questionnaire as a matter of routine, or because they had a concern about my son in particular. I teach Special Education; I can see their logic and reasoning; it still twists a little dagger in my chest emotionally. Every kid has some type of issue or problem somewhere, but most people aren't thrilled the first time they come to grips with it. I wasn't.
"What about his listening vocabulary?" the doctor said.
That was a question I liked. Shane knows the meaning to a lot of words even if he doesn't say them. Saying 'Outside' or 'Walk' makes Shane race to the garage door. The word 'No' either makes him very angry, or he stops what he's doing and looks at you to see just where the line really is.
The doctor quizzed Shane a little. "Head?" Shane grabbed his head. I knew he could do that one. "Ears?" Shane stuck a finger in his ear. I didn't know he could do that one. "Feet?" Shane decided he sat long enough. He bolted and grabbed the rolling stool in the room. His plan to scale the chair and grab a picture on the wall was obvious and thwarted halfway.
Clearly, my son has no gross motor issues. His fine motor skills are slightly lacking (he can't turn a paper page without crumpling it half the time...though I suspect it's because he thinks crumpling is funny), but there didn't seem to be anything that really worried the doctor. His language was another story.
The doctor gave me a referral and phone number for Child Find.
My heart sank a little. I couldn't help but wonder if it was partly my fault for not working with Shane on his speech enough. Thankfully, my education, job, and personal experiences growing up kept me from really worrying or stressing.
I was damn near unintelligible until I was five years old. At three years old, one of my neighbors told my mom "It ain't normal" and she ended up searching out services for me. The first therapist gave up (which my mom said "broke my heart"), and eventually Nana got a referral for Child Find for me when I was 4. I remember walking down the school hallways to a small room some in Kindergarten and 1st grade for what must have been speech services. The memories are a little hazy, so I can't give specifics, but I do know/remember I did not have to go any more by 2nd grade.
It looks like Shane has inherited my speech and language delays. I told Carrie what the doctor said. Her reply was "Autism screening? He's fine!" I told her about Child Find as well and suggested we should look into it. I expected my wife to be stressed or touchy or worried about someone 'criticizing' her baby. She was rock solid sure her baby was awesome (go wifey).
I stressed Shane out some the rest of the night trying to get him to verbalize anything. He'd walk up to me, raise both of his arms (the sign for 'up') and then point where he'd want to go. I would look down, smile, and say 'up?' like always only this time I wouldn't pick him up. Shane would start gesturing more passionately and still I would ask him to say 'up.' The next step was Shane getting made and grabbing my belt so he could climb up Dada if necessary! It stressed him out that his gestures weren't working and it stressed me out that he was getting ornery and wasn't willing to make much noise at all. I said more than one prayer about asking God what do, and I got a quick answer. My mom called when I was putting Shane to bed.
I didn't pick up then. I came downstairs, found a guilty looking puppy, found dog crap Brogan left when he panicked assuming I would never come downstairs again, and dealt with the mess that entailed. I called Nana back and told her what the doctor said. I mentioned I was going to call Child Find at some point, but I wanted to try and work Shane a little first (that was pride speaking).
"Oh my gosh, Mike. Are you crazy?" my mom said. "This is free help! Child Find is great! They used to come to us! I don't know if they do it anymore They'd bring a new toy and let you keep for a week each time! This is free professional one on one help for your kid. I had to pay for a year for that kind of help for you until I got my referral."
When my mom put it that way, the idea of waiting a day more than necessary sounds ludicrous. If Child Find is what my son needs, the I should get it for him pronto.
My mom talked to me for longer then, and kept calling back with different humorous anecdotes of my own speech issues as a kid. "You couldn't say your r's until you were about 7 and you had some trouble with g's, too. There was this one time you were trying to tell Jama you wanted to 'rent' a 'game' and she couldn't understand a word you were saying!" Growing up, Mom, Dad, my sisters, and my friend Bill were the only people that understood a word I was saying! There are some pretty hilarious stories when you look back.
Jama reminded Nana that SHE had speech issues as a kid, too. Nana went to kindergarten unable to make the 'L' sound. Long became Wong, etc. I guess Shane was doomed to have it if you can trace the speech impediments lineage through myself and my mother. My twin sisters had issues trying to form their own language as kids (twin-ese if you will), and my younger brother Matt had trouble too, but not as much as I did.
I told Carrie that geniuses often have speech issues as kids, but I don't know if she bought it. She called back in between my mom's calls to say good night (did I mention Carrie was out of town on business?). We talked and we plan on calling Child Find on Monday. Thank you, God for a quickly answered prayer on what to do!
The next step is doing it.
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