Teaching Problem-Solving

It's impossible not to react, but I try to parent with the end goal in mind. Here's a great example:

Shane wanted to look inside a mailbox at Home Depot for the umpteenth time. He could not reach high enough to see in, so he wanted me to lift him up. I did not want to.

Obviously, Shane got upset. I still wasn't going to pick him up.

I want Shane to be a problem-solver. No one likes a whiner. It fixes nothing. I, also, want Shane to learn to take the initiative instead of waiting to be spoon fed.

So, I waited. Shane tried the usual pout. He told me I didn't love him, and all the usual initial reactions.

Then he started to try and climb. He looked over as he did it to gauge my reaction. I had my teacher face on. I may have arched an eyebrow.

With no condemnation, Shane tried to climb in earnest. He couldn't do it.

He tried a few more times and as he started to get upset I asked a pointed question. "Could you make steps?"

Got him. Shane stopped and thought. He looked around, but didn't see any obvious answer. "How?"

"Let's pull out some boxes a little bit."

The next lesson was "not too far or they will fall off."

I ended up with this for the next 5-10 minutes.

I don't know how thrilled the employees were, but at least I wasn't picking him up each time. Lesson accomplished.

There's also a fine line between making Shane think and giving him new tools to get into trouble with. I can't say it always goes my way. This time felt like a success.