Make it a Win-Win

The living room had gotten out of control. "Okay Shane," I said. "If you want TV, you have to pick up your toys first."

The idea didn't sit well. "That's not fair!"

"Who got them out?"

Shane crossed his arms and glared. He knew the 5th instinctively.

"We pick up our messes. Either you pick them up a little at a time for a lot of little jobs or you do them all at once as a big job." I went on, "I'll do dishes and clean while you clean, too."

Shane still wasn't sold. I let it go for a long while. I wanted him to pick up his mess right away, but I didn't say "pick up your toys NOW." Really, I wanted him to decide he wanted TV and/or to be responsible. Talking it to death would only make him dig in his heels.

The ultimatum made all of Shane's toys much more attractive. He hadn't played with them for days, but when he had to clean them up? Shane stopped asking for an episode. He was having too much fun!

We went well over an hour, maybe two, before I said, "Time to start."

Protest ensued. If Shane had started on his own, I would have let him do things in whatever order he wanted. I've found that being explicit helps everyone when there's hesitation or a big job for a little kid, though. "Lincoln logs first. Put the loose ones in the bin, please. You don't have to break any of your houses."

"Fine!"

"I'm going to work, too, since you're working," and then I left him to it.

A little while later, "Dad, can I use my toes?"

I laughed. "Sure, Shane. Have fun with it!"

Once again, I'd have loved to get my way right away. However, I was a-okay with Shane being creative. If you can learn to be happy and have fun with things, your life will be that much richer. I liked (and still like) to make games out of things. It's not like we had company en route, either.

It didn't go quickly. The logs, books, and loose toys did get mostly put away. Shane didn't even want to watch an episode when he finished. Big success!

We did watch some of the new Danger Mouse for him after nap. Episode 4 was genius.