Nana was half-convinced I was gay. She was concerned that I didn't go on many dates or seem to chase after many women. I must have given her other reasons to worry too, since she tried to check my computer for 'naked animals' once.
I digress. Maybe I exaggerate some as well, but it's good storytelling (sorry, Nana!).
My mother is not shy to speak her mind. Several times, Nana would offer to sign me up for eHarmony or introduce me to someone she met at church. Me, being a prideful young male, did not want any maternal help in romance. I actually dated a couple of girls I never told Mom about, but she was right that I wasn't dating very often or chasing after many women. I like to think that I was discriminating, but I also had a habit of getting friend-zoned or falling for an unattainable girl and losing the interest to chase anyone else. I've always been a one-woman kind of man.
Unfortunately, I was having a lot of trouble finding a woman who met all of my criteria. Bars did not hold what I sought, and I wasn't bumping into any geeky, athletic, Christian beauties at my church either. When I knew I was moving out of my parents' house, I signed up for eHarmony on the sly. I was too prideful to tell anyone and it was my little secret. I figured that it would be a fun experience and A) I would probably have some goofy stories from goofy dates (because who needs help and signs up for online dating anyway?) or B) maybe it would actually work and I'd meet the 'right one.'
I was incredibly skeptical. Prideful too, looking back, but that's always been something I've had to watch.
I talked to several women on eHarmony, and it seemed almost like a dating game. It was a better service than I thought. I always had trouble lowering my guard to express the desire that I needed someone, but by signing up I was meeting people who were also interested in a serious relationship by default. I talked to some interesting people online and even set up a meeting with one girl that was promising online.
Carrie's match was delivered on June 27th, 2008.
There are three pictures I remember very clearly. In one, Carrie's sitting on top of some rocks in Maine looking thoughtful. In the second, she's smiling while sitting one a brick porch. She's wearing a white shirt, black pants, and her friend Katie is behind her. The final picture has her dressed as Snow White at a park event. The first two pics told me I was attracted and the costume pic told me that Carrie had personality. The only problem was she was all the way down in Richmond.
It was an immediate turnoff.
Surely, there were plenty of other 'fish in the sea' that weren't a long distance. I lived in an area of millions! Besides, there's not 'one' soul-mate out there. I believed that everyone had multiple candidates for a soul-mate and once you bonded and started living your life together that's when you became the 'one and only' for each other once and for all.
Or so I thought.
Carrie sent me the first line of questioning. I started to answer and then started to think "What's the point of playing 'the game' if she's so far away?" Instead of cautiously responding to her replies (as was my usual strategy), I went all Mike.
Question 1: "What are you looking for in a mate/woman/something like that?"
My answer started off very honest and serious. Then I wrote "Boobs. She's gotta have boobs." Imagine a deadpan delivery and you have typical Mike humor. I figured that that was probably the end to Carrie's interest in me, but at least I was true to myself.
Amazingly, Carrie laughed. She wasn't scared off. We kept talking and eventually switched from eHarmony to AIM. We set up a date at a Starbucks barely north of Richmond for a Friday morning. Being a total geek, I already had plans to GM a GURPs game for my friends that afternoon (and I was looking forward to it!). Still, this woman hadn't been turned off by my honest answers and offbeat humor, she was fun to talk to, and even though I didn't want a long distance relationship in any form, I figured I owed the situation due diligence. You never know what God has planned for you.
I drove to Richmond.
Half the time I thought about what I'd say and how bad a long-distance relationship would be (one of my friends had one that went on for years online), and the other half the time I was probably trying to figure out what I was going to do for my GURPs campaign.
We met in a Starbucks and I was a little miffed I didn't get to pay for Carrie. We talked, and talked some more. She was beautiful. I loved the raven hair, and the smile! Carrie had some great stories and was full of life, but I did my best to play it cool. I didn't want to come on too strong. I played it so cool Carrie thought I wasn't interested....d'oh!. My dating inexperience showed, I guess.
Time passed and Carrie suggested we should go to a movie (Stepbrothers). I was still afraid of a long distance relationship and I had a GURPs game to run, so I declined. We left the Starbucks, I asked about her license plate, and we parted ways. I raced home to my GURPs game thinking "Wow, that went a lot better than I thought!" and "This drive isn't as bad as I thought if she's on the other end." I did not want to get involved before I moved out of my parent's house, though. It didn't feel right and I wanted everything to be right. I didn't want to look like a loser living in his Mom and Dad's basement.
I moved out and contacted Carrie about date #2. She was pleasantly surprised! (Since I played it too cool.)
We met at a big mall. I had barely unpacked, so I didn't want to show her my apartment yet and it made for a shorter drive for Carrie. We ate a Silver Diner, strolled around the mall and IKEA, and watched Stepbrothers together.
I was hooked. I dragged my heels in the beginning afraid of a long-distance relationship and sure that "this isn't going to work," but I was proved wrong.
That's how I knew I found the love of my life. I fought it, but I couldn't escape it.
Our third date, I went to Richmond to visit Carrie's place. We played Lego Star wars, watched Operation Tropic Thunder, and spent time walking through Maymont Park. I (stupidly) got stuck by a cactus and Carrie rolled down a grassy hill. I fell in love hard and fast.
I had a dream once. I was a college freshman. It was a very vivid dream, the most I'd ever had. I dreamed I was with a 'dark-haired beauty.' It felt significant. I remembered it which is more than most of my dreams. The next day, I found out a German exchange student was leaving her current host family to join ours. She had dark hair, took an interest in me, and became my first girlfriend. I thought the dream had been to let me know that she was coming, but I was wrong. The dream was to tell me about Carrie.
A year after the match was delivered, Carrie and I were married (again!).
That's another story.
I love my wife, and there's no other for me. She's given me a beautiful son, picked and built a beautiful home, and somehow changed me to the point I can now pick out voices of actors and recall them from different movies.
There's no other woman for me. I pray for many happy decades. I love you, Carrie.
No comments:
Post a Comment