Resurrected Post: Anesthesia Aphasia

Spring Break 2006

One of the real tricks to Spring Break is balancing out doing nothing and doing something. You are, also, required by law to sleep in as late as you can. This may be 3pm for some of you. For me, it was a glorious 10:00 AM. Sure, I really woke up at about 9, but my lard butt wasn't getting out of bed for anything. Anything short of one million dollars, a full breakfast, or brand new Red Ryder BB Gun, that is. We all have our prices....I'll make a list for those interested at some point.

The day started off nice and lazy. I found out one of my friends is hoping to become a mama-bear. Her choices of name were suspect, but congratulations to the little fart. Hatch something you're proud of! Afterward, I ended up running to Starbucks to meet up with Christine.

Things got a little interesting at that point. While Christine and I are catching up, I get a cell phone call from Mom. No big deal. I figure I'll just call her back in 5 minutes. 5 minutes later, my phone is ringing again. Uh oh...better pick that thing up like it's hot.

"Hello?"

"Mike. I need your help with your brother. He's being TERRIBLE. Where are you?"

"Starbucks with an old friend."

"I'll be right there."

Normally, everyone who knows me would assume that my Mom was talking about my youngest brother, Patrick. Not so! She's speaking of Matthew. Matt was lucky enough to get his wisdom teeth pulled out today. That means he got to get doped up with a bit of general anesthesia as well. Matt's a hand full of fun when he's cognizant, but when he's tripping daisies he's apparently too much for my mom to handle! She pulled up in front of Starbucks and asked me to follow her home.

What exactly did Matt do to our poor mother? Here are the highlights.

1. Matt bit a nurse after clearly being asked not to.
2. Nature called and Matt tried to take it all out in front of the doctor and nurses. (Almost successfully)
3. He was throwing his sandals around the surgeon's office.
4. He played hide and go seek with his sandals in the surgeon's office.
5. There were many cartwheels through the parking lot
6. Car doors were attempted to be opened while the vehicle was in motion.
7. Matt thought he was a siamese twin attached to Mom's hip.
8. Water was splashed over Mom to the chorus of "A2 A2! I sank your battleship!"
9. A pair of socks were loaded with ice and worn as bunny ears.

Matt's memory apparently started kicking in around number 6 or so. God bless my annoying as hell  to Mom yet still lovable brother!