Ear pee

Shane managed to pee in his ear today. HIS EAR.

The kid has remarkable timing. I'd just undone his diaper, opened up the replacement and was lifting his rump for the switch. Throughout the process, Shane was kicking and flailing merrily as usual. He must have managed to flip his peeper towards a northward firing position and cut lose the moment I started to lift him. Hands full, I was a heartbeat slow to react. Thankfully, Shane's aim was a little to the left and missed his face. I thought he'd missed completely until I noticed a tiny pool hanging in the furl of his ear.

Hey, at least urine is sterile right? I'll never let my son live it down if he gives himself an ear infection.

It's about time to get back on the bandwagon

It's about time to get back on the bandwagon again. I need to write. It's very hard to author anything if you don't create anything. Shane's starting to get more predictable, so I should be able to find blocks of time when he's sleeping and enough of the chores are done that I can sit for a spell. To date, I've tried opening up my writing project a couple of times. I stared blankly at the 90 pages I've scribed all ready and then closed the document intimidated. I think I may try to write another short story to warm myself back up.

This renewed urge to write comes from a few sources. One, I've watched a crap-ton of TV because of my wife and son. All of that consumption makes me want to make something (anything) of my own rather than just imbibing someone else's story. Two, I saw Amazon had a program to allow people to self-publish on the kindle for anywhere between 35-70% royalties! Hope springs eternal, and I started thinking about how maybe I could post something up on the cheap as an amateur. The reality fairy kicked in after I'd fantasized about all the different schemes I'd brainstormed after an hour: I didn't have anything worth selling. I'm willing to bet that people self-publish all sorts of crap (especially from all of the "SCAM!" alerts I've seen on different websites giving advice about writing) and if I threw something up for the kindle the odds are it would be one more piece on the pile. Maybe if I finish a story, get some feedback, and decide not to continue trying to push it I could put it up on Amazon for cheap, but I think I'll stick with the traditional approach for now. All I have to do is start writing.....

Father thing and survey

I'm getting better at this whole parenting thing. This past Friday, I woke up at 4:40 to feed Shane, finished around 5:25 and then stayed up to do dishes, trash, and clean, because I figured there was less than an hour until the alarm clock was going to go off anyways. I took a book break after the chores for about 10 minutes when a sudden thought made my blood turn cold. The alarm clock. It was still on. I dropped my book and sprinted up the stairs as stealthily as I could. With my night-blind eyes I managed to (mostly) quietly stumble through the bedroom and turn off the alarm clock at 6:19. I waited a few seconds to see just how close I'd caught it, but it looks like it wasn't quite a movie moment. By my count there was somewhere between 20 and 30 seconds left before I stopped the blasted thing. Oblivious, Carrie slept through the whole encounter. From there, I showered, made my breakfast, and headed off to work as per the usual.

Having a kid has given me a lot more respect for parents in general. It's a crap ton of work (at least if you want to be a good parent). I could easily see some become bitter with just how quickly a baby comes in and takes over all of your time and energies. For me, Shane gives me a sense of purpose and duty so I don't mind it at all. The little bugger needs, me and I love my son so all of the work in taking care of the house, child, and wife doesn't bother me. It's just par for the course. I think I'm starting to understand my dad more. It always seemed like he was working and doing things when I was a kid, and back then I just thought he enjoyed working. Now, I think he just wanted to get things done that his family needed done. That's the way I feel at least.

A few quick questions I figure I may answer every year from now on:

February 2011
Children: Shane (2.5 months)
Pets: Min and Max (two tuxedo cats)
Where do we live: Northern VA
Profession: Education
Average amount of sleep per night: 6-7 hours.
Average drive to work: 12-15 minutes there and 20-55 minutes on the way home (35-40 avg) due to traffic.
Distance to work: 9 miles
Bed time: anywhere from 9:30-10:30. 11:00 is not uncommon on weekends.
Alarm clock: 6:20
Leave for work: 7:10
Return home from work: usually around 4:30-5:00
People I talk to most on the phone: My grandparents, my wife, and then Matt and Mom.
What I do to relax: Read, browse the internet, and play simple games like PuzzleQuest 2. I'll watch stuff on Netflix while Shane feeds too.
What I do for "quality time" with my wife: Change diapers, watch TV, and lots of SG-1 on Netflix. We finished up Star Trek DS9 and the Next generation last year. We're just now starting to use the TVs again instead of streaming everything on the computer.
Extracurricular activities/hobbies: I'd like to start doing the SCA again. It was a lot of fun and I need to get back in shape. Plus, it's a lot cheaper than when I took BJJ.
Future plans/goals: Write, write, write! Also, I may want to go back to school for a PhD to try teaching at the college level. I would like to teach at all there levels of school (Elementary, Middle, and High) and when the economy is better I would like to try another tour of duty at a center or an alternative school (a run in the trenches!). I'd also love to sell our house for a big profit in 5-6 years when/if the housing market turns around so we can have a yard. I need to read my Bible more and invest more too.
Coolest thing lately: Aside from a ton of baby moments, my friend, Iggs, dropped by to visit on Saturday and my wife brought home some surprise sushi. I got to show a friend my son for the first time and stuff my stomach.

I'm going to try to take this survey every year or so to see how things change. It might be educational.

Sleep beckons.

I've never been so proud!

Monday was a proud moment in my new life as a dad. I was driving home from work and called my mom to ask how Shane was doing in "Nana Daycare," and oh did my mom have a story to tell.

Shane shot her with baby butt buckshot.

My son likes to do what I call "the daily double." He'll loudly poop his diaper, wait five to ten minutes and then unload again to top it off. Many a time, I made the mistake of changing a diaper only to have Shane christen his new diaper minutes (sometimes seconds) after I was done. Now, I just wait five minutes to make sure he's processed everything and I usually avoid my son's tomfoolery. My mom did not know this.

Shane filled his diaper in his typically explosively audible manner sometime Monday morning. Mom, being the good mother she is, immediately started the clean up. Moments after the new diaper was secured, Shane smiled up at her eyes bright with joy about his surprise for her. Mom caught a whiff pretty quickly and started to change Shane again.

Here's where she made her mistake.

Like any reasonable person, Mom assumed that since Shane had already pooped not once, but twice, there was no chance that he'd go for a trifecta. Babies just can't hold THAT much poop!  Boy, was she wrong. She was moving too slowly from a false sense of security when Shane blasted her with his remaining payload. On the phone, Momma kept repeating herself over and over. She'd never seen poop fly with that sort of force. Shane was lying on his back in front of her and managed to nail her shirt in the spray pattern. It was unbelievable!  She rushed to clean up my boy and change her clothes.

Refreshed, Mom returned to another nasty surprise. She was cleaning up around the changing area when she noticed her socks were getting wet. They were absorbing something. Something...smelly...and wet on the floor.

My son may look almost completely like my wife, but Shane has my colon. THAT'S MY BOY!

Baby Baptism

Tomorrow is Shane's baptism.

Wednesday was the baptismal 'class' at Christ Church. Mom was kind enough to watch Shane all day long. Carrie and I rendezvoused after work at my parents to chat and see our boy before running off to it. I really like Pastor John. He radiates energy and passion and obviously cares about people. He told us that they'd had a picture of Shane up on their bulletin board for the past couple of months too! That won him extra points with Carrie.

My first week of work has been pleasant, but discombobulating. There's always a million things happening at once, and in some ways it felt like the first week of school all over again. The difference is the kids are already united and the shy, testing the waters phase is long gone. The students tried to regale me with stories of atrocities committed by the sub. Naturally, I wanted to hear all the dirt, but it's not a good idea to let kids harp on another teacher, so I shut it down quickly (we' adults are all supposed to be on the same team after all). The amount of drama and gossip never ceases to amaze me. If there wasn't that whole confidentiality aspect of Special Education I could have a ton of stories to tell. Maybe I'll write some memoirs one day...

I did learn of one bad turn of luck for me. My sub happened to be the sorority-sister of my new assistant principal. The AP would visit the class while I was out and talked about what a wonderful job her friends was doing. Unfortunately, her friend didn't know how to do the math (joy). That meant her instruction was lacking, but she was extremely well organized and decorated my classroom nicely. I'm not very well organized physically. Electronically I have all sorts of goodies stashed within easy reach, but I'm sure it didn't give my sub the best first impression. Any of her worries/complaints would go straight to her friend the AP, so I'm breathing a small sigh of relief that this wasn't an evaluation year. I feel like I kick butt when it comes to the instruction, relating to the kids, and instilling the seeds of confidence in them, but if the AP had got it into her head that I wasn't a class act because of her friend's complaints/difficulties I would've been out of luck.  The other ironic thing about the situation is my IA friend, Jenn, told me stories about all the disastrous starts for long-term subs in the building. I was the only teacher whose sub was a close friend of an AP who wanted to bulldog for her. I don't think anything will come of it, but it makes me extra-happy I'm back at work and earning my keep. I don't know if I can teach for the rest of my life, but job security is paramount right now with the baby, mortgage and economy the way it is.

Getting back into writing-writing has been much harder than I thought. Sure, I'm keeping up this journal, but this is pure stream of consciousness and my large posts probably scare off the ten or so odd hits I get a month. Most of my time goes into the baby black hole and takes my energy with it. I did sit down and try to look at my book-attempt again one time. It was intimidating. I couldn't remember all of the little details of what I'd written or remember exactly where I wanted to re-enter the writing. The story is still in my head, but 90 pages of a word document looming before me was discouraging. Ironically, I think it would've been easier to pick it back up if I hadn't been so productive before. I still feel the urge to create something instead of endlessly consuming other people's creations, so I know I'll pick it up again at some point.

I should start winding down for the night. Shane and Carrie are both in bed and I'm going to be doing the night feedings and the caretaking tomorrow while Carrie is at work. Plus, Commissar Cain is about to get neck deep in trouble again in my book. Best to get to it!

Full-Time Parenting

I know I was warned by every parent I bumped into, but damn were they right. Life just isn't the same post-kid.

I'm just going to list some quick recaps of events before my new 9:30 bed time. Carrie's been up there since 8:30 keeping the bed warm.

• Work started for me this Monday. Unfortunately, I had to stay up and finish the Super Bowl lest the team I was cheering for lost (Go Packers!). Then, I woke up twice to feed Shane and ended up staying awake from 5 AM. I drank enough tea to put a horse into orbit and the exhaustion didn't really hit until after work, thankfully. I think my body was still in shock.
• I got a haircut at 6:30 AM that morning on my knees in the bathroom. I've been telling Carrie I need one for the past couple of weeks, but she didn't want to do it when Shane was awake. I wouldn't want to have to run off mid haircut either, so this appeared to make good sense except for my wife passing out randomly whenever I remembered to ask her. I'd go downstairs for a snack or poop (the good toilet is always worth it) and by the time I walked back upstairs she'd be down for the night. I got a lighting hack job and trimmed my beard. I asked Carrie to help trim my neck, but she's passed out before 9 twice in a row now. In her defense, she's had busy days...
• Monday was Carrie's second day back at work and first day leaving Shane with my mother for day care. Mom was thrilled to see Shane and is going to be an awesome resource. She's a huge baby person, and she does all sorts of things to try and keep kids stimulated and help their development without over-doing it or being nutty. Shane couldn't ask for a better Grandma (or Nana if that's what she decides to be called). It's a great situation for us, but Carrie told me she stilled cried as she drove away. She missed her little man...
• Today, Shane got his vaccinations. Carrie emailed me to give me the highlights: 12 lbs 8 oz and 25 inches long! The blue spot over his nose wasn't a bruise; it was a vein growing and making itself none. Heart and lungs checked out, and then Shane wailed like a banshee when he had his shots. Carrie had never heard him wail so loud. He started gagging himself, and spent the rest of the day sore, fussy, and too uncomfortable to nap until 6 PM. My wife said that listening to him physically hurt. She very emphatic with the little guy, and I believed her. 
• Last week, was a learning experience for me. I found out that being a home-maker was not the pleasure cruise I had envisioned it to be when I was younger. Especially, when there's a baby involved. It may be much more enjoyable, and much less worky if your kids are at least toddler aged, but it was a lot of work. I had Shane all to myself for around 5-6 hours a day for 5 days. If he'd have chosen to sleep more, it would've been easier, but the little toot would only sleep long enough for me to do dishes, make myself a meal, and run some laundry or other miscellaneous chores. The rest of the time he was awake and wanted play-time or food. Now, that can be fun by itself, but when you have no choice because you don't want to leave him alone and there's no other adults around to carry a conversation it can get a bit tedious. If I was more of a TV person I may have really enjoyed it, but I like my pastimes to be more interactive (like reading or a game).

Maybe some of those recaps weren't "quick."  I'm too wordy when I write, I suppose. I'm going to snack, check the stocks (I need to make another round of investments soon), and maybe read a little of Commisar Cain before turning in.  Night!

Paternity leave is almost over...

Being a teacher doesn't equate to the most pay for a Masters degree, but it's allowed me to take off a lot more time than many other jobs to help out with Shane. It doesn't hurt that I have five years with the schools (including my time as an IA) where I've only used a few days of leave each year. That's all going to come to an end though. Monday is going to be my first day back on the job. I'm 90% looking forward to it. I don't know if I said this before (and I'm too lazy right now to look back and double check), but I will feel safer about my job security when I'm back in the hot seat. As the main bread winner, there was some pressure when I got married, more when we got our house, but now that Shane is here and Carrie is switching to part-time with the possibility of becoming a stay-at-home mom I've begun to really feel the pressure. It was more of an abstract "it would suck to lose my job but we'd still get by" sort of thing before. I'm not in any danger that I know of, but I'll feel better being back and work and 'holding my place.' I want to be a good Dad, and being a good provider ranks pretty high on the 'good Dad' list in my mind.

Last Saturday was nice. My family went out to Cheesecake Factory for my brother Matt's birthday. We had to wait for a little over an hour and a half to be seated (go figure that the mall was crowded at 6:30 on a Saturday). Carrie stayed home to take care of Shane, and after the two-hour mark I started to get anxious about being away for so long. During the pregnancy, Carrie was a bit nutty and relied on my heavily. She'd get nervous and depressed and send me sad face text messages whenever I was gone for too long (For example, I'd get "When are you coming home?" messages when I went to SCA practice for a couple of hours). Then, she had some difficulties with the birth, so I've been used to feeling like an integral part of the goings on around here. It turns out I was the nutty one Saturday. I left slightly early to make sure Carrie was not down and depressed about me being away for so long. It turned out Shane's an able replacement for me. I don't think Carrie even noticed I was gone!  If it's ego to think that the world won't turn without you, then that was my malady Saturday. It's good to know that my wife is basically back to normal. She's going to be a great mom. I can see it in how Shane melts into her arms and how she'll refuse to put him down when he's sleeping sometimes.

Wow. I'm surprised I've been able to type this much.  Carrie is out doing horse errands, so it's just me and the boy-o. The only thing is, he's napping.  I did some dishes, and then I thought he'd be waking up any moment so I've been doing nothing overly important and trying to kill the few remaining minutes of freedom I may have. I've played Puzzle Quest 2, talked to Matt, made a sandwhich, ate said sandwhich, checked through my work emails, written in my journal....how long is this kid going to nap?  I just hope he'll still sleep tonight.

I guess I'm going to go look for something productive to do. Once I start, I'm sure that will be when my son wakes up.