It hit 60 degrees F today. There aren't a lot of kids in the neighborhood, but they all came out. Shane took a two-hour nap after church and small-group so we weren't out for too long.
Ben and Raheem went "snowboarding." Ben could stand up down the 'hill.'
After the library, Charlie, Shane, and Raheem ran up and down the street.
Charlie's dad, Matt, had his drone out earlier. Shane napped through most of that.
"Ok, we're going to the library," I said. "We have overdue books to return and the library closes at 5."
"Can I go with you if I ask my mom?" Raheem asked.
"Sure."
Raheem ran home. Shane and I waited.
I expected Raheem's mom to say "no." I met her once in passing. I'm basically a stranger.
Raheem returned a couple minutes later. "She said I can go!"
Really? How does she know I'm qualified? Are there any forms to fill out? Who is your family's primary medical provider? What if dinosaurs attack and there is collateral damage when the military retaliates?
"Do you know your mom's phone number?"
Raheem rattled it off. No need to panic there.
I wrote my number down. "Take this to your mom in case she needs to contact us."
He ran off again and I scratched my head. Shane cheered.
And that's how I know I'm old. I made it complicated. It was a simple for Raheem: "My friend is going to the library and I'd like to go, too!" He didn't hesitate to ask.
We went when Raheem returned. I felt better when we saw Sherwood outside. He waved.
We returned half an hour later. There were no ambulances or police reports. There was a piggy-back ride and I played Hank the Cowdog on the way home. Raheem didn't have a library card, but the library had a book exchange for such an occasion.
Last year, I worked with the 6A State Runner ups. Our room was new, but I thought it small. We had multiple state place winners, an ex-All-American coach, and one of our wrestlers got a scholarship for a Division 1 school. The varsity team traveled to find tournaments stout enough to compete in.
This year, I worked with a team that finished 16th in a 16 team tournament. A pair of NOVA teams participated and cleaned house. They tied for first place with a 189 team points. We had 24 with a pair of forfeits. Our wrestling room was frigid. There were no working vents in the room. I didn't bother to clean the mats a few nights, because no one really sweat and the room was about the same temperature as my refrigerator. What gunk could grow in that?
I plan to work with the team again next year. Wrestling is clearly not a priority here, but I want to help change that.
Thanks to the technology, Shane can re-live my childhood TV viewing experience, but improved.
There are no commercials or set times when the shows come on. Entire series can be binge watched in sequence and paused for bathroom breaks. DVDs and streaming allow for pin-point and instant rewind/fast-forward action.
Shane started on Ducktales and Rescue Rangers before the snowtastrophe. Carrie and I were sick of Little Einsteins. We have DVDs of Talespin and Darkwing Duck, too. During the snow days, I let Shane start Voltron. He loves it. There were a cluster of episodes I never knew existed.
The danger here is to dwell too much in the past. I don't think many of Shane's future friends will know what Exosquad or Centurions are. Shane needs to be able to connect with his peers not mine. I can reminisce about the shows and toys with my friends, but those toys don't exist on store shelves now (and many 80s cartoons were not-so-secretly 30 minute long commercials......and awesome).
On a side note, I started to make a list of cartoons I wanted to share with Shane from my childhood. I was well past 40 shows with episodes I could vividly remember when I stopped. How much TV did I watch as a kid anyway?
"Wait, Dad! I didn't do my homework yet!" Shane replied.
We got it yesterday. It certainly wasn't due. However, if there was a more productive way to stall I don't know what it would be. Shane practiced his "m's" and "n's" and we went in late. It was good timing. The kids were about to play outside in the snow as we arrived!
"Shane, I can cook dinner and we can stay home or you can have crackers in the car on the way to wrestling," I said. "Which do you prefer?"
Shane thought a moment.
"Crackers and wrestling!"
"Are you sure?" I wanted to verify.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Shane bounced around.
It was my turn to think a moment.
Did Shane really want to go to wrestling or were the crackers what he really wanted? Shane's a clever little guy, but he doesn't think much farther than instant gratification. Then there were the roads. I didn't really want to be out on them. Frankly, I preferred to stay home.
Another test was required.
"Okay. Here's your next choice: Do you want to stay home and eat crackers or go to wrestling and eat crackers?"
"Umm....Wrestling and crackers!"
His answer never wavered when I asked again (I really wanted to make sure!). We honored his choice.
I'm wonder about Shane and wrestling next year. He may have been too young this year. I hope that he'll show an interest going forward (as a coach, I'm rather into it).
He spent half the practice not practicing and interested in videos and video games. There was one boy on a cell phone while his brother practiced whom Shane really wanted to meet. The other half he did some half-hearted wrestling. Shane doesn't really like to drill. After a move, he flops on his back, laughs, and rolls around. Most of the other boys aren't interested in a partner like that. They moved on. Shane did practice moves with me, but that's not really being part of the team. I was thrilled whenever he did participate.
Shane had some difficulties adjusting to soccer, too, but he mostly got with the program by the end (minus the playing actual games). Wrestling practice is more demanding. Soccer was an hour. Wrestling is an hour and a half. There's more instruction and push-ups. In wrestling, you have to work closely with a partner. Sometimes you get thrown around. In soccer, everyone had their own ball. There were team and partner drills, too, but not on the same level of expectations.
Or maybe I expect too much. I don't coach soccer. I've started to recognize and be recognized by a chunk of the other coaches, parents, and wrestlers. I didn't discover wrestling until high school, so I don't know what to expect of or from a pee wee. I don't see any other kids flopping around like a seal while coach talks, but maybe they all started out that way!
There are great benefits from being on a sports team. Exercise, friends, learning....I hope Shane chooses to take and enjoy the opportunities. I'd love to share wrestling with him. My dad and I bonded over my time on the team.
In the end, I'll drive and support wherever his passions lay.
Plus, the kids got energy to spare. He needs the practice to learn how to focus in and stay still (enough) at times!
That's my boy! Absolutely dadgum highly delightful.
I need to figure out what sort of spring sport Shane will do next. Baseball? Soccer again? His coaches are coming back. Taekwando? Or maybe piano but can he sit in one spot?
I'd started to shovel out our street on my own already (and I got a fair workout out of it, too). I wondered if anyone was going to come.
Someone came. They brought a backhoe and a truck. Shane got to go back to day-care today! I was more excited than he was.
The temperature is in the 50s and snow is melting. Businesses are open. I took care of a few errands to scope the terrain. I saw sidewalks and asphalt everywhere, but the neighborhood roads are one and a half lanes at best. I don't know how well the school buses will fit. Will there be school tomorrow?
I'm surprised we didn't see any kids around. Everyone holed up. I haven't seen kids in the neighborhood either. We invited Charlie to come with us. She didn't like the cold and opted not to. We had the hill to ourselves.
Friday before noon, the flurries began. We moved the bug into the driveway.
I went out with Shane twice on Friday. I cleared the cars and the driveway while he played. A fresh coat of snow adorned each as I finished.
Saturday morning, I didn't see much difference between our cars and the neighbors. I don't know how much good the shoveling did.
Shane and I went out to play and shovel again, of course. I cleared off the bug, but gave up on the Volvo.
We showered off once we got back inside. The bug was already like this.
A few hours later, we looked like the neighbor's car again (our control for this experiment).
There are lots of crazy time lapse shots of the accumulation. Nature laughed at my meager efforts. I couldn't make a dent until the snow stopped. I got a great workout, though. I'm still sore.
Shane had another semi-awake nightmare. He called out, we went up, and he went back asleep. Nothing much to report. I decided to "log it" just in case. I thought it was longer since the last. I read online that being extra tired or an erratic sleep schedule can contribute. Shane's bed time and wake time are highly regular, but he's been iffy on naps. Shane read books and played in his room instead of napping today. He let himself out and ran downstairs when quiet time was up, too. The snow was pretty exciting.
Today was a different story than Thursday. The competition was lighter and the boys came across as less shell-shocked. Everyone won at least one match. I was very pleased. We got stuck on some shots, but we shot!
I had a good feeling going in. The boys came in Friday ready to go. They wanted to wrestle each other for minute and a half rounds. I'd thought up some things to say, but decided to let things run their course instead. Losing is part of wrestling and how you handle it is important. I liked what I saw. I caught up with Coach and let the boys warm-up as they saw fit. When 4:00 PM hit, I said a few things and started practice for real.
I guess they listened,
Meanwhile, Shane watched Little Einsteins and played on my phone. Carrie worked, so he had to stick with me. I let him play on the ropes afterward.
Tonight was the first (un-cancelled) middle school wrestling meet. I took five kids on an hour bus ride (my six wrestler had the whooping cough).
Expectations were high. Or at least I felt they were. The kids circled up and came up with a cheer.
We didn't live up to expectations. One wrestler won both his matches, but the rest lost all of theirs. I felt we had a lot of knowledge, but not a lot of execution. My wrestlers tended to be more passive and reactive. Most allowed their opponent to work their moves instead of working their moves against their opponent. Some of it was conditioning related, too. The periods were a minute and a half and we've only practiced with minute periods in practice (the length from the first tournament). With my limited time and attendance, I haven't run nearly as much drill and conditioning as I could.
I think the kids still had fun. It's a growth opportunity for all of us. I need to incorporate more drill and conditioning into practice. Really, I need more time. Practice is five days a week, from 3:30 to 4:30, but really it's from 4:00-4:30. The middle school bus drops the kids off at 3:50 at the opposite end of the school. They trek across and then take a few minutes to lace up. Most of the kids only make it out three days a week. They have band/orchestra rehearsals/practices for grades, test reviews, etc, etc.
I've got some ideas to move forward. The kids are better than they would have been if the team didn't exist. I want to help them go further.
Meanwhile, Carrie and Shane had ice cream for dinner.
I raced up the stairs and scooped him up. He cried and took rapid breaths. "Daddy, I have to tell you something!"
I held him and rubbed his back slowly. I tried project calm; To shh and slow him down.
I don't think Shane was fully awake. He repeated himself, "Daddy, I have to tell you something." He seemed to calm, and then his breath would pick up pace again. "Daddy, I have to tell you something."
I'd heard/read that sometimes little kids could still be in the dream and seem awake. The shoe seemed to fit.
Before, I had said things meant to ground Shane. "You're safe. You're in your room. Feel the blanket. Feel the warm." etc. etc.
I shifted to "What do you need to tell me?"
Shane couldn't say. He stared into space, calmed, hyped, and repeated himself again.
After a couple of repeats, I switched to "Tell me your name." I wanted to see if he was coherent.
Shane didn't answer at first. Was it only a minute? I said, "Your name is Shane. Tell me your name."
"Shane."
The nightmare was broken.
Shane didn't remember whatever he dreamt. I tucked him back in, told him I loved him, gave a kiss, and left the room. He was probably asleep before the door shut.
The nightmares happen about three or four times a week. Tonight's was one of the most vivid. The nightmares usually hit between 10 and 11. I stay up just in case. I don't think they happen after that or there're small enough I sleep through them. Carrie woke me up for one at 12:30 Monday or Tuesday night, but that was an anomaly.
I intervene in about half. I think there's a fine line between helping and preventing growth, but I can't say I know exactly where it is. Carrie and I have mostly played a "Shhh, you need your sleep" calm approach. We make sure Shane has his blanky, a night light, and emphasize his room is safe. "You'll be fine! We love you. Say a prayer, or call for us if you need us."
Thankfully, if there is a nightmare... "The good dream comes after the bad dream, right?" Shane asked.
"Yes. Good dreams come next. You need your sleep so you can run, jump, learn, and play tomorrow."
That pattern has held. Everyone basically gets the sleep they need and life has gone on. I pray that Shane learns how to confront his nightmares or grows out of them eventually. Until then, we're here to help and comfort when we can.
Sunday morning, a blue figure ran across the lawn. Charlie and her dad were flying a Christmas drone. When Shane and I went out to greet them, an updraft hit. The drone gained altitude and hovered over trees and houses.
Raheem stopped by on Saturday. We hadn't seen him since before break! He has to go home when it gets dark out. On school/wrestling days, I don't get home with Shane until the sun has set. As the days get longer, we'll probably see more of our friend.
The kids raced all over after our first match. I played line guard and stood on the far side, so no one could run onto an active mat. I made the awesome move/mistake of showing them how to sling each other around in circles. When the boys each grabbed one of Kira's arms and tried to sling her opposite directions, I had to establish some guidelines. There were no injuries to report. Only lots of fun. The kids hid in a corner and played Perry on my phone when the wrestling started back up. I don't think most people realize how kid friendly wrestling tournaments can be.
That night, Shane and I drove down to Lynchburg for hockey. Kyle was in the neighborhood again!
December 17th, before bed time and out-of-the-blue,
Of course, I texted Kyle. "Tell us when you're in our neighborhood again!"
Saturday, was the day.
Kyle reffed a match between Liberty and WVU. It was a beautiful arena. Shane and I saw every inch of it.
"I tried to keep track of you all, but you were in a different part of the stadium every time I turned around!" Kyle said.
Yup.
Everywhere.
We even rode the elevator between periods.
It was a small arena, but it smelled of new. New and expensive.
We thought the mini-kids rink was awesome.
We found a stray puck in the stands, later. It performed admirably.
I never knew soccer would help Shane in hockey.
When the match ended (9-0 for Liberty), Shane ran the locker room corridors to wait for Kyle.
When I tired, I forked over my phone.
Shane, Kyle, and the other refs went to dinner after they cleaned off. Shane wedged himself next to Kyle in the booth. I wish I had a picture. Shane probably thought it was the coolest thing. He got to eat a fancy PB&J, sit next to Kyle, at a table of hockey refs/players, and watch Little Einsteins on my phone.
I enjoyed talking to Kyle and his colleagues. There was a melee on Friday night that refused to quit. Round 2 was scheduled the next day. Everyone voted Kyle to don the armband (head ref). They talked shop and I learned what I could. It's neat to hear about the behind the scenes world they walk. All of the refs travel much farther than you'd expect, too.
I thought Shane would fall asleep on the ride home. He proved me wrong. The trip was worth it. I didn't realize the first trip was way back in October. Where did the time go?
Shane willingly ate lettuce for the first time when we visited John. Today, we added "mushrooms." I did not like that idea. However, I didn't want to say 'no' when Shane was willing to expand his diet.
Imagine my relief when I found out: A)Subway has no mushrooms and B) Shane meant onions all along. He just didn't remember what they were called.
We ended up with a sandwich we were both happy with. I think the real reason Shane wanted to visit Subway was dessert, though.
We took our time to eat. Shane entertained the staff. We played 'hopscotch.'
Carrie brought home a surprise from the pet store.
At least it was cheaper than last time. Our previous fish didn't survive tank cleaning and moving. I thought we'd kicked the fish habit, but I was wrong.
Our instinct for trouble came next: We introduced the cats to the fish.
River was terrified.
Bucket didn't want anything to do with the beta either. I half-suspect she thought Carrie placing her on the counter was some sort of trap.
Max was the only one who showed any spirit.
She tried to escape, too, but Carrie held her long enough for the fish to catch her eye.
Shane enjoyed the show.
He's probably the biggest threat to the fish's health. He wants to feed it a lot. He asked at least five times a day the first couple of days we had Red Rocket-Jaw (as Shane dubbed him).
Shane played his first sou chef role tonight. Carrie bought a sugar cookie set on Christmas clear-out.
The boy was pumped. Overenthusiastic, even. It upped the challenge level for Carrie! She let him whisk the eggs, pour the flour, and stir the mix. The dough was too wet when the cookie cutter came out and Mommy had to improvise.
Carrie never likes to follow a recipe, anyway (especially when the base recipe doesn't work). The sugar cookies were upgraded to snickerdoodles.
Shane was eager to help until the TV came on. That allowed Carrie to finish up! Shane ate dinner perfectly distracted.
