Oops! No Real Post!

So, I was going to post something tonight, but Iolas was in drag teaching Hercules how to dance. It was almost bed time by the time I sat down to type. I didn't want to do any of my current ideas unless I did it write (pun!).

I scanned through some old photos and saw this one. Shane's grown so much. We love you, Little Man!

Because They're Cute

Shane loves the sleeping bag. He can't get enough of it.

He doesn't like it when I get in, though. It's okay. I'm not as photogenic.

Actually, I take it back. He does let me in it if he can jump on me. I tell him I'm in a cocoon and he he bounces and wants to ride! Last time, I hatched and grabbed a blanket to be my butterfly wings. 

If Shane has a choice, it's Mommy every time.

Ouch!

Shane was wounded at Harris Teeter yesterday. 

No, it was not in the dairy section when he bumped into door and fell on his butt. That made him cry until he saw another little boy and promptly stopped.

Shane was hurt when he grabbed a moving cart wheel. The wheel pulled his hand forward and his skin pinched between the wheel and the surrounding metal (the caster?).

Friction burn. Shane didn't cry out or anything. I didn't realize he was hurt at first. I asked what happened and Shane told me that he hurt his hand. My brain didn't put two and two together at first. I asked "how?" Shane replied that he had grabbed the wheel.

Thank God, it was only a small ouch. It could have been worse. Kids are designed far sturdier than they appear! I hope Shane's learned his lesson. Don't shove your hand in moving wheels!

I'm glad that I stopped immediately when I felt the friction on the cart wheel. It wasn't a conscious decision. Shane likes to hang on and put a foot on the top of a wheel to apply the brakes on me. It drives me nuts. I'll stop the cart and stick him back in the seat if he does it more than once. I wasn't worried before, just annoyed. Now, I have a reason to be paranoid about it!

Anyway, we'll see if it scars. Chicks dig scars. Shane needs to collect at least a few of them to lead a full life and find a wife when he's older!

Daddy Socks

"He's wearing pantaloons!" Carrie laughed.

No, they're Daddy's socks. The sweat pants are tucked in. I'm shocked his feet fit into his shoes.

I want Shane to fill my shoes one day. I did not realize my socks were serviceable already!

A History of Me: Carrie Meets Nana!

History: The Future Wife Meets the Future Mother-In-Law

Disclaimer: The version of this I tell is slightly different than my wife’s.

My mother did not know about Carrie.

I grew up with a certain set of rules. One of them: if Mom knows, everyone knows. Nana thinks and processes by talking. If I didn’t want something talked about then it was best if she did not know.

As a teenager, I decided I didn’t want my mother talking about my love life. I didn’t want motherly advice. I didn’t want motherly commentary. I didn’t want my mother telling anyone about any break-ups I may or may not have had.

That said, the rule didn’t apply very often. I had one girlfriend before I hit twenty and none before college. 

My sisters set me up on a blind date for my high school prom, so I wouldn’t go stag. Then I scraped the side of my parents’ van in a parking garage with my friends watching and my date beside me.

The rule stuck, though. Nana cemented it in my mindset when she asked if I was really interested in girls.* It became a running joke to reply to her questions about my love life with offbeat answers.

“Mike, are there any cute girls in your new classes?” Nana asked once.

“Sure, but I don’t care. I ordered a mail-order Russian bride.” I replied. “She should be here next week. Will you be home to sign for her?”

Nana’s jaw dropped.

The goal was to get her goat. I didn’t curse; I wasn’t mad. I loved my mom even when I thought she was being nosy. I wanted to say something absurd, because I found her prying absurd. The more surprised Nana was the more amused I was.

This joke (among others) was replayed multiple times over the years.

By the time I was twenty-six, I only had two girlfriends that my mother knew about. Both relationships could be measured in months instead of years (to be honest: there were some other dates in between, but not a lot. I was no Casanova).

Enter Carrie.

When things started clicking, I knew that I was going to have to introduce her to Nana. I love my family and it was important to me that Carrie could love and be loved by them.

My replies to Nana’s questions and advice started to change.

“I ordered another mail-order Russian Bride, Mom. This time, I paid extra for air mail!”

My sense of humor wasn’t any classier (I like to think that it’s improved with age), but I did start teasing 

Nana that some sort of change was imminent. I don’t think she really recognized that it was anything but obnoxious.

I told Carrie the whole story. It turned out my future wife had a flair for theater. She decided to play the part.

We called my Russian friend, Igor, on the way to visit my parents. He coached Carrie on how to say several quick phrases (spelled somewhat phonetically in English and riddled with errors):

“Privyet” – Hello!

“Oh-cheen pree-aught-nya” – Pleased to meet you.

“Mayo-eem-ya __________” – My name is __________.

By the time we arrived, Carrie was Katalyna.

Pop and Patrick were working in the yard as we walked up the driveway. They stopped working and Carrie greeted them in Russian. They smiled. They knew mischief was about.

“Hey Dad, where’s Mom?” I asked.

“In the basement.” I want to say he chuckled. I'm sure I remember his smile reaching ear to ear.

Carrie and I went inside. We found Mom cleaning out the basement. She started to talk as I came down the stairs, but stopped the moment she saw Carrie.

Carrie acted coy. “Privyet. Oh-cheen pree-aught-nya. Mayo-eem-ya Katalyna.”

Nana was shocked silent. She sat there for a pregnant pair of seconds that felt like longer.

“Mike, that’s illegal!”

Right after she said that, in my recollection, Nana squealed with joy and hugged Carrie. My wife swears that she had Nana completely hoodwinked and under her acting spell for far longer. I’m sure Nana will rebuttal that she was never fooled at all; Just amazed that I found a woman!

There was plenty of laughter in the house that night. I felt truly blessed to have found my future wife and to be part of the family I was born into.

It was the age before good cell-phone cameras, but I do have one blurry picture from that night. I swear I look squirrelly.

I’ll always like this picture, though. 

*Which, was an honest question on her part. She’d dated since elementary school (aka holding hands) whereas I tended to pine behind a stoic face after girls I had no chance with for way longer than I should of. It turns out I have a very good poker face about some things. I wasn't really offended when she asked, either. Good mothers care, which means they ask. Besides, I’d been hiding almost all the information about my love life from her, so it’s not like she had much to go on. It did irk me at the time, but (as mentioned above) it became a running joke.

PS - It turns out, I DID write this story once. Rats! However, I spent the time writing it so I'm not going let it go to waste. I should search my own blog more often. It's funny to compare and contrast the then write up and the now.

Sleeping Bag Fun!

Carrie found her old sleeping bag while moving things around for the contractors. Guess who loved it?

A Green (and Brown) Spring

I'm not sure about a garden this year.

Roxy spends an awful lot of time outside,

and she's bristling with puppy energy. It may need to wait a year.

Shane loves the "canyons," though. His words not mine!

 Toddler vocabulary is cute. Shane wanted to help dig the canyons deeper. Roxy approved.

Shane and Roxy love running around the yard together. It's more parallel play than playing with each other, but I think the antics of each amuses the other. 

Inside, Shane is more bossy. Outside, he doesn't stand a chance of catching her unless she allows it and he knows it. It seems to make him more laid back. It could be he's totally distracted by all the natural wonders around him, too. Shane loves to get dirty. He digs bare-handed under the porch when I let him.

Any day that I can take Shane outside is a more enjoyable day for the family. Where art thou, Spring? You keep teasing us with glimpses of your presence!

Hanging Around: Video

I took a video of Shane hanging around. It didn't fit with the punch-line then, but it's time to post it now!

Shane Logic

Shane's logic reminds me of a teenager's.

First, Shane pulled out a couple of packs of soda. They were trains. "Choo, choo!" When Shane lost interest, he ran off to chase Roxy.

Later, Shane came tearing into the kitchen. I heard a "thunk!" and a "splat!" as my son tripped on his 'trains.'

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Daddy, I tripped!" Shane said matter-of-fact.

"Okay, we need to put away the boxes so no one will trip."

Shane popped up. "Look!" Shane bounded over the boxes. "I not trip ever again!" he said and bolted.

I snorted. The suppressed laugh cost me. Shane was around the corner, before it occurred to me to call him back.

I pushed in the cans myself. Carrie's not made of the same rubber material Shane is!

Shane's logic reminded me of a teenager's. I wonder what that bodes for our future.

American Cheese Art

"Shane, what do you want to eat?" I asked.

"A robot!" Shane said.

"A robot?"

"A robot!"

"What kind of robot?"

We haggled. We settled on a "cheese robot."

It was eaten.

Do what you got to do to get your kid to eat! If you can have some fun with it, why not?

We rolled up the robot frame into a cheese ball that also went down the hatch.

The mickey nuggets I tried to round the meal out with were a fail, though.

Oh, and do you see the potato? That's a meteor. Shane says so. I have to clap really hard to "boom" it away when it chases me.

Eating Anamolies

I didn't know eating could be so difficult. The old adage, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink" comes to mind.

Shane doesn't always like to swallow his food. Actually, I don't know if he doesn't like to or if there is some other reason. Whatever it is, it probably makes perfect sense to him. I'm left guessing. I took Shane up to bed tonight, and realized he still had some chicken he was jawing on. I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to coax, wait, threaten, and bribe, Shane into swallowing to no avail. Shane'd reply "Look! I'm swallowing!" and then chew loudly.

Shane won that round. I think I kept my frustration mostly hidden. I asked him to "spit" and he complied.

I don't think I'm ever going to find out why Shane likes to chew food for hours. It's better than when he tries to shove everything in his mouth at once and choke, though. When he's old enough to read, I'll give him a manual on "How to Eat."

For now, he's sleeping soundly. 

Magic Oven

Shane discovered another new game at Nana and Pop's: the Magic Oven. "He must have done it 400 times!" Nana said.

I believe her. When Shane likes something, he likes it to death. My son enjoyed many magical oven transformations before his nap and then woke up requesting more. He probably dreamed about possible permutations, too. There's no real way to check.

What is the Magic Oven? Watch!

I had to explicitly state, "The Magic Oven is ONLY at Nana and Pop's!" Shane only shows an interest in our oven/stove-top when Mommy's cooking. I don't think Carrie would appreciate Shane throwing a banana in with a roast!

PS - Shane's not allowed to see this video until he's older! Preserve the magic! Thanks!

Swim To It!

Shane started swimming lessons today. Don't worry; It was indoors.

Shane and I signed up for a Mommy and Me class with Kids First Swimming. Ironically, it was all Daddy's in the water. What a racket! There were a few lady folk watching from the viewing area, but they'd all figured out/conspired to put the men in the water.

Today was the first of six 30 minute classes. It wasn't anything life-altering. Mainly I held Shane in the water and had him kick on his belly, his back, and practice holding his breath while I dunked him. The instructor maybe talked to us each for five minutes or so. The real value was to practice in a heated pool while the snow fell beyond the windows.

I think it was worth it. Swimming is a life skill that I think is crucial. It's a skill that isn't difficult to pick up and can save lives. The exercise and negating the fear of water are great, too. I know that if left to my own devices it would be easy to stick with the current routine of Shane-care. This class will give Shane and I something to do which will give him opportunities to grow and allow me to be an active father and participate with him. The whole experience of packing up, swimming, showering, and return trip filled an hour and a half of an otherwise cold and snowy night we would have been trapped indoors (and Mommy was sick, so there was lots of TV to start the day!).

Next week, Shane and I will go to class two. I wonder if it will be more of the same or if we will do some sort of drill or exercise. Shane doesn't show any real fear of the water. He's much more concerned with doing what he wants to do! He would have raced around the pool with a toy boat in each hand if I let him out of the water.

I think this will be a great way to spend Tuesday nights when Carrie is working. I'm looking forward to next week's class.

A New Nerding

John is doing his best to lure me into a new world of nerdom: Star Wars miniatures.

It helps that it's a really well designed game.

John has bought enough models that I don't need to spend a dime. He's organized it all into carrying cases and come out to visit me a couple of times (like when Carrie went to Genevieve's party). He likes to send me links about strategy and new models, too. He knows I'm a sucker for strategy games and the spaceships in Star Wars are far cooler than the Jedi.

We both grew up on this:

John loaned me the CD back in 8th grade! I shot x wings and played ping-pong in his basement when we were kids.

I am not planning on buying anything myself, but it's great to spend some time with John again. Half the fun for me is the talking and hanging out while playing. We bestow names on ships that do particularly well or poorly; We shoot random asteroids so that our ships don't come back with their ammo bins full (never mind they're lasers). If there's a clear loser, it becomes a chase. The loser attempts to flee their remaining ship(s) off the board to fly home and report their "glorious victory" against impossible odds (minus losing their squad).

It's given me something to use my brain on, too. I typed up a few ideas on how to make campaign characters while watching Jake and the Never-Land Pirates with Shane one night. I don't know that I'll ever use it, but it's the first non-blog writing I've done since I made a goal to write more. It won't make much sense if you don't know the game or GURPs. It felt good to do something creative.

If Shane shows an interest in Star Wars or strategy games when he's older, I may pick up the box set. I'd use it to geek out and teach him math and probability simultaneously. Until then, I'm not going to spend time or money on something that doesn't benefit my family in some way.

For now, It's a fun activity I can do with John once every month or two. Maybe we'll be able to get one in over Spring Break!

PS - I wonder if my brother-in-law, Bill, would be interested in this. Maybe I'll get John to give him a demo when they're in town!

PPS - Lightsabers counts as cool, too.

It's a Mess (But Apparently a Fun One)

Shane and I went outside a lot on Saturday. We had to step over some new potholes in our backyard and Roxy shredded some form of fuzz/insulation? I'm not really sure what it was or where it came from. It was everywhere. I picked it up while Shane dug in the dirt. I didn't want my wife to come home and find Roxy's surprise.

Of course, posting about the mess on the internet may seem counter-intuitive. Normally, I'd clean up and say nothing. Carries guaranteed to see the mess now!

Enter set of pictures #2: Shane ran into a neighbor's yard to retrieve a branch. He then dragged it down the block to give to Roxy.

It took some effort to hoist it over the fence. Roxy enjoyed the process and the result.

Shane was so proud! Between the two of them, I'm not sure how intact my yard will be for the next several years. I was a little sad that all my earlier work was wasted, but I'm sure I'll enjoy the shenanigans of these two far more than I would the grass.

The only trick will be figuring out how to have a garden. I want fresh produce again.

Pee Problems

Shane's had a number of accidents this week. It's strange, because he really hasn't had many before. Shane knows poops are rewarded, so he won't let those loose just anywhere. 

Lots of Posts

Warning: I have a bunch of random pictures and I didn't want 10 posts on Saturday, so I backlogged a few on them on Thursday and Friday.

Laundry

Mr. Helpful wasn't very helpful with the laundry. He enjoyed himself, nonetheless.

First, he climbed up on the bed to jump into the laundry bin.

I'd removed most of the non-Shane clothes at that point. Anything else that got a few more wrinkles pressed into it would at least be clean.

I drew the line when he started to throw the folded ones back in.

Later, Shane dumped another laundry load to hide under. The cat, who had been previously terrorized by his antics, took the opportunity to bolt when Shane was entangled.

I didn't even notice Max making a break for it when I was taking pictures. I have two other pictures immediately before and after that are catless! There are cuter pics of Shane, but this pic makes me smile so wide I could pick no other to post.

Hanging Around

I texted this to my wife. 

I Kilt It

It was kilt weather today; Seventy degrees and sunny. I strapped my on and Shane and I went out and about.

Here's a pic:

A New "Thing"

Shane has a new obsession: tornadoes. 

It's my fault.

It began with Shane running all over spinning his tunnel around and around to frighten me and Roxy. "It's an earthquake! Run away!" Shane shouted.

"No, that's a tornado," I said.

"Earthquake!"

"Tornado. Here, I'll show you." 

I pulled up some quick videos on my phone. Since real tornadoes are as terrifying as they are awe-inspiring, I was very careful. I picked the most basic videos to avoid anything scary or anyone (justifiably) exclaiming curse words.

A new love was formed that day. Shane now insists I run from his 'tornado' non-stop. He doesn't quite get what a tornado is, either. Shane's tornado gets sad if I get tired of running away. Sometimes it's hungry and wants a peanut-butter honey sandwich, too. At least the coffee it drinks is imaginary.

Shane discovered a brand new twist on the tornado game lately.

"The tornado is eating all my toys!" he said.

Shane dumped every last train, train track, Jenga block, stuffed animal, and random widget he could find into the train. I tried to contribute. I threw in one of his balls, but got corrected. "No Daddy! No balls!" Shane was indignant.

Who knew? Tornadoes are selective.

Truth

Because it's true.

Carrie's a Troublemaker

Max likes to "guard" the door whenever Roxy goes outside. Carrie sometimes provides her with a few pleasantries to help her man her post.

Retail Randomness

Shane finds ways to be entertained at any store we go to. I enjoy throwing Shane into large bins of pillows, too.

Battle Damage

Looks like I won't be using those scrabbles cards again. Shane enjoyed shoving them into the table and then pulling up the lid, so they'd fall in.

Fever Boy

Shane was a sicky today. He woke me up over half-an-hour before my alarm, so I probably should have seen it coming. Carrie emailed me at work to tell me his temperature was 103. He just recovered from an ear infection, and I hope that this is not related. If the ear infections start up again, we'll have to look at whether or not Shane needs a second round of tubes. It's a little premature to assume it's all ear related, though.

Thank God, Carrie stays at home now. It'd would have been difficult to figure things out otherwise. Shane loves to cuddle up on her when he's under the weather (the feeling is mutual). I let Shane play/learn on ABC Mouse for an hour while I took care of a bunch of chores. I wanted to clean up the dishes from out Saint Patrick's Day feast with Daniel's family, take out the trash, and generally make a big enough dent that Carrie could snuggle with Shane all day tomorrow and not worry about them.

Life stays busy. It's better than being wide awake and full of unspent energy, but I'm ready for bed now.

She Never Stops Surprising Me

Saint Patrick's Day was a snowfest, but Saturday was beautiful. It was over 60, sunny, and dry!

It was a good thing, too. Carrie fell asleep on the couch after Shane's nap. Shane, Roxy, and I all went outside. I had to take my hoodie off immediately. We played outside for over an hour. The young-ins were thrilled.

At some point, I decided to work on my Irish tan (also known as a sunburn). I took off my shirt and sent Carrie a text to tease her about what she was missing.

A few minutes later, I heard my wife clear her throat.

My brain was stuck in neutral at first. Eventually, it lurched into gear and I figured out where Carrie was perched!

I nearly died laughing. I'd never saw this happening. I love my wife's ability to surprise me. I'm normally the turd, but she's shined in some fairly epic moments over the years.

I love this story. I miss some, but I wanted to make sure this one went up. It's a shame the warm weather and blue skies have left the building, but I still get to see that smile on a daily basis!

Lent 2014

I used to give things up for Lent. I've given up caffeine, sleep, this, that, and what have you. I like the discipline of saying "No, I don't really need this" and then learning that it's true. Abstaining showed me on an emotional level that the things I think are necessary to be happy aren't as necessary as I believed.

However, I've discovered it's better for me to use Lent to plan on doing something. What can I do to grow in my faith? This year for Lent, I'm reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. There are 40 chapters and the books encourages the reader to read only one chapter a day. That fits Lent perfectly. The topic is important and it fits my goal of reading more, too.

Each chapter only takes me about 10 minutes of reading and reflection, so I'm trying to also instill the habit of starting my day off with it. The results are mixed there. I hope to do better moving forward.

Kilt Day 2014

Saint Patrick's Day wasn't cancelled due to snow. Carrie cooked red cabbage, potatoes, and corned beef to fuel me up to wear my kilt the day after!

Tuesday, March 18th Kilt Day 2014 was upon us! Belated, but not forgotten. The tradition is now six years strong.

Originally, I was afraid I would have to skip it. Tuesday was supposed to be an SOL test day. I didn't want to cause a "man in skirt" testing irregularity. The snow caused a two-hour delay, however, and the test periods were moved to Thursday.

I surprised Carrie by bounding downstairs in kilt hose and kilt. She loves Kilt Day more than anyone! She said, "Watch Shane!" and ran off to find my sporran and any other accessory necessities I'd forgotten.

The day went much as Kilt Days go. Middle school brains were blown. I played it a little more gruff this year. If a student said they liked my 'outfit' I replied, "Outfit? Outfit!? This is a KILT!" Sometimes I substituted Kilt with "MAN skirt" (emphasis on MAN!). If a student asked why I was wearing it I might have said "Because I can" or "I have the knees for it." It's all in good fun.

The kids this year were more tactful than most. They'd usually wait until they were around the corner to react. I'd start each class with the usual kilt history lesson. "First off, this isn't an Irish kilt; it's Scottish. Irish kilts are usually uni-color and not as old a tradition. Scottish kilts are the tartan pattern. They can show your affiliation to your clan, a region, a city, or a number of other things. The Black Watch have their own tartan patterns. The Irish regiments actually have their own patterns and pipers, too."

My history lesson normally meanders from there. One kid normally asks if I play the bagpipes ("No. I have no musical talent. Next."). Another will ask if I can dance a jig ("Nope. Can't dance," or "Irish dancers don't wear kilts and I don't know anything about Scottish line dancing.") A kid who listened and was interested will ask something like "If you're Irish why are you wearing a Scottish kilt?" At this point, I mention some things I learned from Uncle Jim's research about the other Irish names in the family and how it was probably a displaced Scottsman who was imported by the British into northern Ireland who gave me my name (since it is clearly Scottish, but there's no other traceable link to Scottland in my ancestry). I try to go light on the me and bring up names in history for any kid who's interested enough to Google. I'm a history nerd, so it's nice to talk about history some.

The staff reactions are always fun, too. I had a teacher tell me that kilt day was her "favorite day of the year," I heard kilts at wedding stories from other teachers, and I even wiki'd a couple of last names of my co-teachers for five minutes at the end of the day ("Watch out for Heather! Her clan used to rule over yours!).

All in all, it was a successful Kilt Day. I find it funny how different I look from the last one. Carrie wanted me to grow my hair out to see what it'd look like. The last time I think I was photographed in a kilt, I looked like this at family picture day! Nana loved it.

More Shane Sayings

"Silly, Daddy!"

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After hopping into a shopping cart, "Let's roll, Daddy!"

After I laughed at the previous statement, Shane reiterated "Go Daddy, Go!"

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Shane looked up at the international mart and asked "Are there animals in there?"

Carrie and I's eyes met.

I spoke first.

"I could tell him..."

"..NO." She finished.

Shane wasn't sure why we were laughing, but he was proud of being cute.

---------------------------------------------------

As Shane and I were on the road home from Subway, he dropped a new line on me.

"Daddy, I see a sign. It says go to the playground and have fun, Daddy!"

I didn't see the sign, but Shane got to visit the playground. I couldn't help but smile at his ingenuity. He's good at figuring out ways to get what he wants!

----------------------------------------------------

At the playground, I learned something. Temperature does not matter to Shane.

"I don't need gloves, Daddy! It's not cold!"

My hands were freezing. Shane threw a fit as I dragged him and his stone cold fingers back to the car.

Shane would play in the snow naked. Gladly.

Or at least he'd never admit that I was right if I suggested he came inside. He'd make sure he did it in his own time!

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John came by to play a round of X-wing. His miniatures occupied our dining room table when Shane spotted them.

"Oh! Those are fragile!"

Yes, yes they are. The wonder in Shane's voice had us laughing. He put so much awe and sagacity in "fragile" that I can't help but wonder exactly what that word means to him.

-------------------------------------------------------

Shane's picked up a new saying. I'm not sure where it came from.

"Are you kidding me?!?"

He even uses it appropriately. There's the right amount of incredulity and everything.

I don't say that, do I?

-------------------------------------------------------

And there are so many more that I wish I remembered. Sometimes he catches me by surprise and the laughter bubbles up. It's a great feeling, but fleeting. I wish I could capture it more. It always feels the best when the stinker has me tired or frustrated and at the end of my rope. Then Shane drops a toddlerism that banishes it all for that moment.

I look forward to hearing more Shane-isms. I need those in my life.

Escape Artist

Roxy has performed her vanishing trick twice now.

First, she found the only fence post in our yard that was loose. Thankfully, she's friendly. She ran up to a neighbor who immediately called the number on her tag.

I've said it before, but Roxy looks much bigger than she really is. She can shrink down and shimmy into (and out of) places she shouldn't be able to.

A month later, it happened again at my parent's house. Nana and Pop have a wire mesh around their fence to keep Indy in and the foxes out. There was one staple missing from the bottom of the post by the gate. That was all it took for Roxy to go freewheeling again.

Once again, she ran up to say "Hi" to someone. They called the numbers on the collar, but it was Roxy's last name that led them back to Nana's.

The scary thing for me was Roxy's tags had fallen off. She'd bent the metal ring that held them. She ran around our backyard for a few days without and I had just found a semi-suitable replacement ring and reattached them that morning.

Kids and pets, they keep you on your toes!

CELLS!

My students are learning how to use microscopes. It helps if you have fun stuff to look at. They thought it would all be prepared slides.

They thought wrong.

After the kids learned their microscope basics, I said, "Let's look at some other stuff around the room. Anyone want to donate a strand of hair?" I had to stop several girls from giving themselves haircuts. Every student in the room was ready to contribute FOR SCIENCE!

I donated a beard hair. Then I used some scissors to trim some dead skin over a blister from shoveling my family out of the last snowstorm.

I don't think anyone will forget that lesson anytime soon. Gross works.

Old Draft: An Ode to Pop-Pop

Lots of Old Drafts tonight. I started to clean them out and this is what happened.

This draft was never finished. It's done it's purpose, though. It's another reminder of how blessed I've been to have the family I have. I'll have to update and finish this ode one day.

If I'm ever blessed with an overabundance of spare time I could do more odes.

(PS - If you're annoyed about the car post, Nana, then please note the link to the ode to you!)

"I've done an Ode to Nana, and Grandma, but they are not the only important people in Shane's life.

Today, I want to focus on my father: Pop-Pop.

When Shane wants to go outside at Nana's house, Pop-Pop is normally out there with him (especially now that it's gotten a little cold for Nana!).  My father retired in the summer, but "[he] doesn't work any less!" 

Whenever I pick up Shane, I normally find Pop-Pop working on some sort of project or out back with his grandson. The boys  like to walk through the woods with Indy. She constantly rushes up with a filthy-nasty tennis ball that Pop-Pop knocks around the yard to Shane's delight.; Pop-Pop pushes Shane in every swing available (and the boy likes to switch from swing to swing); Sometimes, I can look out the back window and I'll see them bouncing on the trampoline together.

Old Drafts: Resurrected Post: Exploding Car Windows

And old draft of a resurrected post.

Go figure.

I can see three reasons why this wasn't posted:

1) I wrote in the present tense. I've learned a thing or two since when I care to edit.
2) I was worried it would embarrass Nana.
3) My tone was a more "sensationalized-sarcastic" than I like. I was trying too hard to sound exciting.

I'm still a little worried about #2, but the truth is: it's really hard to embarrass Nana. As Pop once said, "Your mother's tough. She'll say she's embarrassed, but has that ever stopped her?" 

I'll still drop this back to a draft if Nana requests it. It probably happened close to 12 years ago. 

And as for the driving critique, I still joke that part of my faith in God comes from Nana's driving! She could get distracted, but she's never caused an accident. It's clearly a case of a guardian angel.

"Isn't it funny how most people can crap out any sort of writing that is nonessential? Take this LJ post and compare it to my take home final that's due tomorrow. My bad! I can't complain about being bored, because everything becomes more fun when you're supposed to be working! I'm having a blast! 

Anyway, the real reason for this post is to relate a funny mom story. Monday, while I was at work, my mom called me. 

"Mike? My rear window exploded at a stop light. Can they do that?"



According to my mom, she was sitting at a red light, minding her own business, when the back window on the van decided to hop on the back seat and take a breather. There was no wreck. No warning. Just....*CRASH!!!!* I meant to take a picture of the broken window, but my dad is too quick acting. I think he was ecstatic over the idea of work to do. He knocked that puppy out and vacuumed it all up in two shakes of a dog's tail.  Mom does not want to drive her car for fear of police and being carjacked through the now vacant back window.

That's the setup.

Mom asks me if she can borrow my car to go to the library.   I'm ok with this.   Most people wouldn't be with my mom's record.  She has a tendency to hit parked cars and root around in her purse while turning.  I cough up the keys and go back to procrastinating writing my paper (I've had a week to get started...whoops!). 

About ten minutes later I'm farting around on the computer and I get a cellphone call.  This time it's Patrick.   Mom can't get my car started.  DID SHE BREAK IT ALREADY!?!?!?  I'm about to grab Matt's keys and go find her, but she's still in THE DRIVEWAY!  She never figured out how to start my car!  

She was using the wrong key! 

After a belly-aching laugh, I return to my previously scheduled procrastinating only to get ANOTHER surprise!   Five minutes later, Patrick comes downstairs and gives me my keys back.   

"Mom can't figure out how to put your car in reverse, so we're just going to take Matt's."

My mom is hilarious.  You wish you had a mom as cool as mine."

The last line is true. It sounds sarcastic there, but I still meant it in an out of the side of mouth young adult that doesn't want to be gushy or emotional way.

I'll say it now straight up: I love my mom. 

Drafts Revisited: Oh Irony

Here's another old draft that was mostly done. I'd completely forgotten about this incident. I probably didn't post it, because (while funny and ironic) the tone could sound like whining.

My motto: everyone needs to vent sometimes, but if you do it over and over it's whining.

Nana's motto growing up: No one likes a whiner.

I agree.

But a single story is venting, right? Not so!

If you post something online, someone can read it more than once. That makes it whining. Posting something online to later discover you can't "take it back" is a lesson often learned the hard way.

Hence, this languished as a draft. I rarely dwell on the lemons of life, and the memory faded. I chuckled as I read this, and I guess that turns my mood on the date of publication for annoyed-but-amused-by-the-irony, to a nostalgic-amused.

Mondays, Mondays, Mondays...

My Monday started off looking like it would be an easy one. The student school year was over. My start time was later. With the new house, my commute distance was shorter.

Sunday night, I offered to help drop my brother, Matt, off at the airport. The catch? He wanted to drop by my house with Renee at 4:15 AM. That wasn't so bad, though. I got to do baby bottles, read some, and get my day rolling before Shane woke me up anyway.

The hour drive to work sucked. Sixty minutes for six miles. I used my horn more in that hour than I had in the past six years (to which my coworker, also a Matt, said, "In a Prius that may cost you gas mileage!"). My time and patience was not the only casualty of my commute: my laptop had been in sleep mode instead of hibernate. When I pulled it out of the bag, it was burning to the touch.

Blue Screen of Death = Bye-bye Hard Drive

If my commute had been the normal length of time, I would've safely discovered my mistake. As it was, my computer died right before I needed it. Plus, my school's techie said the servers were down all week for re-imaging and he couldn't return it to me before next Monday. I had closing documents to work on and an interview Thursday (which emailed on Wednesday saying "bring work samples" which were all on my laptop and server account).

It was funny to show up to my tech interview and confess my school computer was broken.

By the way: I learned my lesson. I always double-check that my laptop is ready to transport now. It's better that I learned that lesson at the end of the school year than at any other time during one!

Thank God, in hindsight for that timing!

Draft Revisited: Extra Income

I start posts, but that doesn't mean I finish them.

I started to look through drafts while thinking of what to write. This one was more or less finished:

"I picked up another side job on Saturday.

My school was short personnel for a full day of testing to get into a magnet school. Originally, I wasn't going to do it, but after I was off three days this week....well, I figured I could stand to get another day of work in.

Arrival time was 7:30 AM. There was signing in, room prep, and then ushering students in. The testing instructions weren't slated to begin until 8:30 AM.

Things went well until computer gremlins came out to play. "Technical Difficulties" could have been the slogan for the day.

Ironically, it made things more interesting for me if not the kids. Instead of staring at a bunch of students testing I was running back and forth scrambling! I like helping and having problems to solve when they're not my fault!

The afternoon session was cancelled. There's a chance the county will still pay for the whole day!"

Neither my wife or I picked lucrative fields to work in. Since she's switched fields and to part-time, I'm the main bread-winner. I pick up random opportunities here and there if the pay is decent and it fits the family schedule. We're fortunate that we watch our finances enough I'm not forced to do so, but I like trying new things. If the new thing is useful and pays, then that's nice, too!

The check from this gig paid for a date night out, babysitter and all. 

Monkey Boy

I'm on record for disliking daylight savings in general, but it's hard not to appreciate suddenly having sunlight after work.

We're in the middle of a Spring-tease.

Daily highs are over 60 degrees. The sun is warm. The breeze is cool.

Beautiful weather!

When I return home from work, Shane and I immediately go outside. We spent an hour at the church playground yesterday. Then we went back again today. There was no need for coats!

Shane has developed some hanging strength lately. He likes to try and hang from monkey bars. I've started trying to coach him in how to cross them, but we're not there yet.

A flock of geese was wandering in the field behind before they migrate back north. We watched several land in the storm dry retaining pond before Shane wanted a closer look. We adventured out of the playground to follow and that's when Shane saw the wall.

Shane has the McRuari monkey gene. He has zero fear of heights and more energy than he knows what to do with.

The climbing wall is behind the church atrium. It was love at first sight. It lasted a full 10 minutes, too!

Ah! Toddler love! It's so intense, but the attention span is fleeting. I'm sure Shane will remember the wall the next time we visit.

Spring Forward

Sunday sprang forward.

Carrie and I decided to wake up Shane and go to the early service to help us jump-start our day. It gave us a reason to get up and Shane got to go run around and play to wake up.

It was a win-win.

Afterwards, we went out on a retail journey.

PetSmart didn't open until 10 AM, so we dropped by Lowe's first. Shane's love of hardware stores is well documented.

My job is always the same: keep up!

Carrie shops. I guarantee Shane doesn't break anything. Or at least I try to. He's pretty determined.

We weren't on a mission today, so Carrie joined in the play. Shane was in toddler heaven. He's pretty partial to Mommy.

It is funny to see stores through a child's eyes.

I'm not sure what Shane saw in this next picture.

It's probably rather dark. Cats are good at hiding, so we had to check all of the cat trees at PetSmart.

You never know where there's a secret door to Narnia, I guess. We had a lot of fun visiting all of the reptiles, rodents, and fish, too. Shane even got to pet a bird. I couldn't take pictures due to a devious glint in Shane's eye. He only got his hand halfway into one of the fish tanks.

Afterwards, we went over to the international food mart. It's a neat experience. There are lots of demo stations to try different foods and tons of foods I'm unaccustomed to. I always tend to stand out with my bright red beard amongst the sea of black hair, too.

Carrie knew what she was looking for. We ended up with lots of goodies and supplies for a home-cooked feast.

We were out so long that we had no issue putting Shane down at his new nap time. Great success!

The Things Parents Do

Only because I'm a parent: Shane asked some random women getting out of a car if he could swing on their porch swing.

They said, "Yes."

I said, "No," when he wanted to go "SUPER FAST!" and again when he wanted to hop off and look in their windows.

Only because I'm a parent.

School Revisited

On a side note: Shane loves visiting his old day-care. He's been back twice and each time he's wanted to stay and play when I've tried to take him home! Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It was a good day-care. The drop-in rates are reasonable, so they're a good back-up plan. It's $65 for up to 10 hours plus meals.

Another Ear Infection

It's official: Shane has another ear infection.

The congestion started about a week ago. He's been coughing up a storm at night and at naps.

You would never have been able to tell at the doctor's office. Shane was the most pleasant, well-behaved, and charming little boy you will ever have seen. I know I'm biased, but Carrie said that people in the waiting room were telling her Shane should be a movie star. He turned on the charm on the nurse, too.

When that happens, I sit back and rest. I'm sure everyone thinks "Wow! What an easy child!" and I go ahead and let them. I know the truth, but I do enjoy people appreciating on my son's finer qualities. It is the real him when he's not determined to be a toot.

Shane was fascinated by the blood pressure measuring devices (or sphygmomanometers if you speak doctor). He played with them the whole time I talked to the doctor.

It was so cute, I took a video. You can hear me talking with the doctor in the background.

Then, I took another video after the doctor left. Shane was that enamored with the pumps and I was that amused by his play. I figured I'd paid for the office visit. An extra three minutes with a happy son wouldn't hurt anything.

Here are the videos. I'd recommend you pick one unless you can't get enough of Shane. They're both basically the same thing.

No doctor talking (Carrie's favorite):

Doctor talking (I included, because I think it's funny how zoned in Shane is):

Afterwards, Shane and I went to the dentist's office. We were already out and I figured my paying a bill could be a little adventure for Shane.

It turns out, the dentist has the best toys on the planet. Shane made me stand around for 20 minutes after the bill was paid, so he could play with the bat cave and Darth Goofy!

Parenting, it makes you stop and think some times.

Is it a little awkward sitting in a waiting room when you don't have an appointment for anything? Yes.

Is a happy child worth that awkwardness? Probably. As long as there wasn't a fit thrown to get his way or some other sort of spoiling going on.

What if it was free, didn't hurt anything, was appropriately asked for, and took care of something on your to-do list at the same-time? Parenting Gold! Sign me up!

We went to the gas station, pharmacy, and Daniel's to play afterwards. It was an easy Shane-care day!