Ganbate, Shane! がんばて!

Carrie and Shane made a deal. Carrie wanted him to pass the A1 test on Busuu. Basically, it was a summary of all the beginning Japanese lessons he'd taken on it.

The first try, Shane failed. He did decently, but it was just below the threshold for a pass. We were happy with Shane's progress, but he was a Negative Nancy. There's a one week lockout before Shane could take the test again. We wanted Shane to study and see how his effort could turn into progress and eventually success.

So yeah, Carrie offered a bribe. Bribes work with our kid. She asked Shane what he would want as a reward for studying hard and passing the test (keeping in mind it was supposed to be difficult and could take multiple tries).

Shane said he wanted a week off of chores. We'd been prepared to buy stuff, so we said "DEAL!"

A week passed and Shane sat to take the test again right before Spring Break. 

And he passed!

It wasn't flawless and it was the exact same questions, but he felt like he'd achieved something. We cheered him on and said no chores for Spring Break! The timing couldn't have been better!

Eventually, there will be an A2 test. I suspect the kanji on it will be deviously difficult and Shane, if he's wise, will think up of a more extravagant reward for when he passes it (And we'll be happy to award it!). 

Trip Preparations

Why am I posting pictures of cleaning supplies? 

I have a bunch of them from when I went to Wegmans after work. Carrie hired a cleaner to come by the house Thursday.

Carrie's not comfortable with leaving our house in less than pristine condition for Amy and Laura. They'll be living at the farm while we're gone to take care of all the animals and if our floor is dirty they may suspect we secretly call the horses mean names at night when nobody's looking.

Ok, the mean names bit is a stretch, but Carrie wanted to clean house before we left. She didn't. I've been working and doing so many things that I haven't been able to do it either.

Which meant hiring a professional. Carrie had seen someone advertising on the Facebook page, made some inquiries, and then hired her. I was all for it. I'd be happy to have a cleaner come every couple of weeks or once a month if it lowered stress levels. It's not like I'd be mad there was less to do!

If I had been smarter about it, I would have taken pictures of the clean house to post here. I didn't (Maybe you can see a theme going on here...). 

Bonus post material: I have other pictures from the trip. Post shopping for cleaning supplies, I procured allergy meds for the itchy dog.

After that, I decided to cook dinner, too. 

It's a lot of work getting ready to leave the house for a week, but, boy, am I looking forward to it!

Back Hopping Around

 If you were worried about Hopkins recovery, rest assured that he bounced back.

And then he bounced to new heights.

 Literally. 

Somehow, we adopted a fearless, climbing rabbit.

Cats and dogs don't intimidate him.

He intimidates them.

He will bounce into their supposedly safe places and claim them as his own.

And then Carrie will give him greens, because she can't resist cute.

It started off as a rarity, but has become a house standard. Carrie went around moving cords, blocking entrances behind furniture, and did her best to bunny proof the house.

Hopkins now uses the cats' scratching post as his own.

But everybody's cool with it.

Everybody.

I wonder how many weird animal stories Shane will have by the time he grows up.

The Sunny Side

Shane has a new Japanese teacher. Her name is Sunny and she's fantastic.

She had Shane making animal noises and running through the house to find items of different colors while she counted down in Japanese. He was into it and Carrie and I were delighted.

Carrie liked her so much that Shane now takes two 30 minutes each week (Monday and Friday).

It started because Ryouma went on a trip to England. After a miscue and a hotel lesson, Ryouma said he'd be unavailable for a few weeks. We didn't want Shane to stop taking lessons, so Carrie agreed to look up a new teacher.

I had mentioned months ago I thought it would be a good idea to try another teacher. Ryouma wasn't bad per se. Shane liked him and we weren't about to pull the plug on something that was working. 

However, I could tell that Ryouma was used to working with older students. Different styles work better with different ages and people. I told Carrie I wondered how a teacher more used to kids would approach teaching Shane. 

Carrie didn't want to try anyone else back then, but Ryouma being unavailable forced our hand. 

And it's working out great. We're booking lessons in advance and planning to stick with Sunny for the known future. Shane's interacting, learning, and maybe we'll actually get to do a family trip to Japan one day with him as our translator.

Game Two and a Peek at the Teen Years

 Shane's growing. He's able to be a big help when he puts his mind to it.

He's showing some of the signs of the teen years, though. Wanting to be independent, and eventually becoming independent, are good things. Wanting to be right just to be right? Not so much.

I told Shane to go inside, put on his soccer shirt, socks, and grab a snack before we headed out. I simply trusted that he would do it.

We hopped in the car and were 20 minutes down the road when an idea struck me: I never confirmed Shane followed through.

"Shane, you are wearing your shirt right?" I hoped I was being silly and paranoid.

"Hmm?" Shane made a dumb noise that doesn't translate into text rather than answer the question.

"Your shirt. Your teal, uniform shirt."

Nope. Shane didn't see why he needed it. "I'm just going to wear my coat over it anyway."

I was very clear about the shirt. Shane had even asked, "Do I have to?" and I made him repeat my instructions. We've done soccer for years and, guess what, the refs check three things at the start of every game: That kids have shin guards, acceptable cleats, and their shirts.

But Shane had decided he didn't need the shirt. He didn't even bring it in the car just in case he was wrong.

And I was angry. I was angry at Shane and angry at myself for not checking sooner.

I yelled.

Rarely, do I really yell. This time I did and I felt it was justified. We had to turn around and there was no way we'd be able to make the game on time. It was a huge inconvenience and we were letting the team down. I made a plan and emphasized that Shane needed to hurry. He likes to walk from place to place even when we're late, but he needed to hustle if he wanted to prove he was sorry.

We did make it to the game. It was the longest commute to game ever (both in miles and minutes!). 

I don't know what Shane was thinking. I don't need it? Possibly. This thing is shiny and I'll do it later? Also Shane like. Or maybe he thought they'd be forced to play him as goalie if he didn't have a jersey and could sit out the rest of the time? I don't think Shane thinks that many steps ahead, but he's a clever kid.

I told Shane to run up and apologize to his coach.

It was a cool day, so it was good he brought the coat.

The assistant coach was kind enough to start warming Shane up as a keeper. They tossed the ball back and forth on the sideline.

Halftime started shortly after our arrival. Shane got to go in as a keeper.....and wear his coat over his jersey to differentiate himself.

And yes, those are blue jeans. Atypical soccer attire to be sure, but Shane wanted to wear them. 

One of Shane's biggest weaknesses as a goalie is his goal kicking. He's small, lacks technique, and strength. He's usually happy to let someone else do "a big nuke" or "monster smash."

Shane's good at communicating. He naturally calls out when he wants the ball and lets his team know what he's doing. He'll try to general them sometimes (with mixed results), but overall I'd say it's a plus.

Shane's also getting smarter tactically. He doesn't have the biggest punt, but he doesn't rush anymore. He looks for targets and usually puts the ball by a teammate he thinks is good. I don't know how purposeful it is, but he frequently manages to have the ball hit and roll in such a way that they can run off in control rather than having to catch it (We have talked about the concept, so I'd like to think it's conscious!).

I rarely have to tell Shane to watch the ball or be on guard. He handles it 95% of the time on his own. He moves in the goal box and shift side to side without being told either. He's been more conservative about how far he'll run out, but it's only game 2.

And Shane now tries to dive for balls. He doesn't have the technique, but he sometimes goes for it.

I liked this play by Shane. He reacted and got both hands on the shot. It might have been already going out, but it's hard to say 100% from the camera angle. 

I didn't agree with him raising his hand and acting super dramatic afterward. Unfortunately, Shane can be a complainer and an excuse-plainer. He's loud about it, too.

I try to focus on positive feedback. I yell that Shane's "Doing great!" or to "Shake it off! You're tough! You got this!"

And Shane has gotten tougher. He'll whine or complain, but he usually gets back up. In this gif, Shane was too afraid to dive and did a half slide tackle (which I hate), but when he misses he immediately gets back up. He never loses track of the ball and dives on it. That level of play wouldn't cut it on a challenge team, but it's good for Shane's level of experience. The kids at his school don't play soccer at recess and there's not any action at a local park. The only playtime Shane sees is when he's on a team (and practice isn't rained out!).

So I'm proud of the kid. He's got room to grow, but he's been growing. 

The game started off with me mad, but I think it ended on a good note. We both processed and recovered from the bad start. Then Shane played well enough, felt good about it, and got some praise. 

I told him he owes me $4 for the gallon of gas turning around, though. I'm sticking to that.

Random silly thing: I like that SOCA hires kids to be refs. I think it's a great starter job. There's responsibility, exercise, helps other kids enjoy the sport, requires training, and apparently pays well. I caught this kid ref jumping to avoid disrupting one of our team's kicks.

It ended up being a conversation point in one of my classes. One of my A day students was studying to take the ref test!

Goalie Training

I signed Shane up for a Goalie training program. Most volunteer coaches don't do goalie training at all and it's Shane's favorite position. I wish I knew something about goalie training, but I don't.

It's a little bit of a risk. Shane wants to do well, but hasn't always been interested in working to do well. Depending on how advanced or serious the kids are at this program......well, it could backfire. I really enjoy the process of improving at something. I want Shane to have fun and not burn him out. However, Shane has been willing to punt the ball around in the yard lately....

I went for it. "It's only 6 sessions and we'll be out of town for the Spring Break one," I said. "Let's do this!"

Getting Shane to the program was a hassle. The program is north of town. We live on the south end. In traffic it would take me an hour on a good day to drive home, pick him up, and get to practice.....which is rough since practice starts an hour after I get off work Friday.

Carrie helped by dropping Shane off at my car as I got out from school. That allowed us to show up to practice 10 minutes early! Shane's gear was in my car, so he could change into his cleats and grab his goalie gloves (Too bad the goober decided to wear blue jeans!).

The fields were saturated from the previous days rain. The kids were on the far end of the field. It looked like Shane started a fun game of punt practice into a net. 

I was at least a soccer field's distance away from the kids, but a volunteer/coach asked me and another parent to go back to the parking lot. "We don't want parents down here," he said. "It won't be so wet next week and it'll be easier to see."

So I left. I watched from a distance away and could barely tell who was who. Carrie needed me to go pick up some bunny meds from the SPCA, so I hopped in the car and drove off to finish two errands on the same trip.

I got back with 10 minutes to spare. It looked like the coach was kicking balls at the net while kids rotated through the lineup trying to block shots. There were two boys with blue shirts on, and I thought I knew which one was Shane. But either way, I liked what I saw from both boys!

I didn't expect to Shane to by crying when he walked over at the end.

I asked him what was up and he refused to talk. When I said, "Hey buddy" and reached out he tried to run past me. 

When I got Shane to talk he kept saying, "I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" and "It was NOT fun!" Shane said he had tried to leave practice and go to me in the parking lot, but the coach wouldn't let him. "So I sat down for half an hour!" He said that kids had "bullied him" and that they'd hit him on the back, etc.

Was this an epic fail? I wondered.

I took the encouraging track. I told Shane I was proud of what I saw at the end. 

"I got hit in the face by a ball! It hurt!" 

"It's a dangerous job being a goalie, but you're a tough kid," I replied. "Your hard work has earned Chic-Fil-A for dinner. Want an ice cream cone?"

Bribes. 

They work.

There were lots of other processing as we drove about how "I was proud of the effort," "It's not about being the best. It's about doing your best to get back up after trying all sorts of things," etc. 

I did make a pointed note that when you're new to/at something, it's generally better to go in quietly with open eyes, open ears, and to be ready to learn (and "READ THE ROOM!"). Coming in super loud, goofy, and trying to dictate the tone without knowing the group's mood may work every now and then, but it' a recipe that can invite disaster (And can you guess which option Shane had gone with?). 

As for the kids bullying Shane.....Shane's soft. Like, really soft. I make a point to pick at him some, because I know he's soft. I want Shane to be tougher, but at the same time I don't want him to harden his heart. Shane has a huge heart and ton of empathy for others, and I love that about him. He's fantastic with younger kids, but seems to have trouble and be sensitive dealing with peers.

I saw the kids goofing off some while I watched the end of practice. They were laughing and handsy with each other, but it was universal. None of it seemed overly aggressive. I told Shane that I hadn't seen anything abnormal. Kids whacking each other on the back and being competitive wasn't abnormal. I acknowledged it wasn't Shane's style and I was sorry he felt ill treated, but I didn't think the kids there hated him (and if they did, I said it was there loss "because you're an awesome friend.").

Still, the thing that made the most difference in Shane's attitudes were probably the bribes. It started with the ice cream, but I hit him with round 2 halfway home when his outlook was brighter. "Would the next Splatoon manga be a good reward for being brave enough to give it another try?"

Yup. Oh boy, was it. 

I'd prefer for practice to be it's own reward and to not to buy Shane a new book after practice each week, but I want Shane to have an open mind next time and books are great!

Ball-less Bunny (or "Bun-Bun got None-None")

Soccer practice was cancelled Thursday. "That's great!" Carrie said. "Can you pick up the bunny?"

So I picked up the bunny.

Sir Hopkins had been at the SPCA north of town. He returns to us neutered. 

The drugs hadn't worn off by the time we got home (~45 minute drive). Hopkins was moving slowly. Carrie wanted to pet him and comfort him, but he'd hop away a step (but no more than a step). 

Happy didn't seem sympathetic. She didn't make any room for him in the hutch, but hopefully Hopkins appreciated the company.

 

Antlers

Carrie found a deer antler on one of her fox hunts. The surprise winner was Tsuki. She likes to chew on it!

Maybe she thinks she has some panther in her ancestry?

A couple of days later I was surprised to find another set of antlers at the bottom of Maddy's hay bag.

Carrie's antler's had been from the right. Mine were from the left. Together we had a full set!

"That's skull attached to the bottom of yours!" Carrie said. "Mine had been shed, but yours died in a field."

Carrie noticed what looked to be a small bore bullet hole, so it was possible hunters. However, hunters like to keep racks as trophies, so maybe the buck ran off, died, and became the local wildlife's dinner.

Tsuki claimed this rack, too.

The other cats don't seem to care, but Tsuki was obsessed! 

Tsuki's a special cat. Besides antlers, she's infatuated with the corners. She's claimed the kitchen island as her own.

It makes no sense, but makes for great pictures.

Especially in sequence!

Tsuki's particular with a lot of her idiosyncrasies. She wants to nest on Carrie from Carrie's left side. If Carrie's not positioned correctly Tsuki will stare at her until she shifts. Then she'll hop over or do whatever it takes to get to that coveted position where she'll nest, nibble, act like she's nursing, or nibble and chew gently on Carrie's fingers. 

Meanwhile Happy will look on like "What in the world is going on over there?"

Or maybe she's just hiding out from Shane. My cat, Aria, parks up high on the kitchen cabinets where she's queen of all she surveys.