Enforced Rest Day

I got sick just in time for the holidays. I started to feel ill at work. It progressed and we stayed home Wednesday instead of going to Grandma and Grandpa's. It's not debilitating or the flu, but Grandma and Grandpa plan to travel in a couple of weeks. Carrie declared us on quarantine.

We did go to Costco to get groceries and switch my phone with Carrie's old one. It wore me out walking Shane all over while Carrie waited for an available phone tech.

Random Costco Note: I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but Costco seems to relax Shane's bowels. He poops half the time we go there. At least this time he didn't wait until we had a cart full of groceries.

However, he also sings from the toilet. I am dead serious. He will sing and beatbox and generally sound like he's having a party in a stall. I normally don't say anything unless he gets obnoxiously loud or hangs out forever. Honestly, I think he gets louder and louder hoping someone will say something. The men's room was near empty, so I think he was trying to get a reaction from the ladies today.

A Memorable Pit Stop

We drove as long as possible.

I took the first exit at Culpepper. The sign spoke of many options, but proximity was key.

Shane and I pulled into a gas station half a mile down. My gut tied and untied itself in knots. I decided to fill up before going in.

I only held out for a gallon.

I half-dragged Shane in as he skipped along.

The bathroom was not a pretty sight. The floor was wet. I don't know with what. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to Shane to think about it, either.

I was about to die, and beggars can't be choosers. I thrust my phone at Shane and gave in to impulse.

My intestines hurt. Shane occasionally asked for me to look up at his game.

Then things took another turn.

The bathroom handle jiggled.

The bathroom wasn't any prettier than when we found it. And now there was a line.

"Daddy!" Shane yelled. I thought he was excited about his game. "You have diarrhea!"

I regret Shane learned that word. His voice carries.

I commanded Shane not to talk/yell about bathroom matters. So, of course, he loudly announced it again. "And it's stinky!"

If Shane wasn't liable to run off or if I could have stood up I may have thrown him out the door right then. I probably would not have been able to afford the broken glass and damage he would have inflicted on the c-shop. A very quiet voice in my head said, "The best of times and the worst of times..."

I felt bad for the guy after me as we left. For one, he was wearing sandals.

Carrie's Bathroom

Carrie designed our new bathroom.

It's still being built, but I figured I'd share some of the process and my wife's genius.

Why

Our master bathroom is a knee-knocker, literally. If you sit on the toilet you cannot open the door without smacking your knees. Personally, it's never really bothered me. My brain registered it as silly, I shrugged, and moved on. Carrie tagged it as something that needed fixing for future resale value of the house. She was right the last time, so she's clearly the family expert.