November and Phase 3 allowed for sports to start in our county. Part of my bachelor weekend was spent completing online training courses to be eligible to coach.
There are lots of rules.
November is only for pre-season conditioning. Practices are twice a week and limited to an hour and a half. Seasons will start delayed and out of order. Winter sports will be the first sports to have a season. That will start in December. There will be no spectators allowed at events. Students have to be socially distant and masked leading up to practices. Coaches will remain masked at all times.
I expected most of these things save the no spectators allowed.
The biggest restriction for wrestling I haven't mentioned yet? No physical contact.
None of the sports are allowed to have contact between students or any shared equipment (such as using the same ball).
There are individual drills in all sports, but at some point there has to be contact. Especially for wrestling.
Even with the restrictions, overall turnout was decent. I think they said something like 120 kids showed up for the first Monday of pre-season training (roughly 10% of the student population). More students should have showed up for the sports on the Tuesday/Thursday rotation.
Wrestling had two. Two wrestlers. Two coaches. A cleverly angled picture made the room less empty than it really was.
I didn't go to the first practice, and I'm glad. Coaches would've outnumbered the wrestlers, so I would've driven 40 minutes to do nothing.
I've traded texts with Coach Rick and said that I was going to hold off until the season. I don't see the point if I would be of no use.
Practice hours are at a terrible time for me, too (5:30 - 7 PM). Class ends on average around 4:45 PM for me and then it's time for barn chores before we run out of light. I host a Wednesday night office hours at 7 PM each week that would be disrupted, as well.
There's a required online Zoom meeting at 8 AM on Dec. 2. The season is supposed to start Dec 14. I've completed the required courses, but I'm really not sure if I'm going to coach this year or not.
And that's why I haven't posted anything about wrestling lately.
I'm not sad, per se. I just don't think about it much, because I'm busy doing other things. I would have felt the absence more keenly if I was physically at school and the program was running, but there's a different flow of life working at home.
The Pandemic was already going to be in the history books, but the 2020 Presidential Election is sure to be right alongside it.
These screen captures are not in all chronological order, but it goes a little something like this...
Donald Trump has a good turnout on election day. He does far better than the vast majority of pollsters preditced.
Only the tune kept changing as time went on.
Neither side had enough electoral counts to win with several key states hanging in the balance.
However, the more mail-in ballots that came in, the more Trump fell behind.
He called conspiracy and started legal processes that have continued for weeks after the election.
Personally, I think there are two likely explanations for the discrepancy in mail-in ballots.
1) There was cheating on both sides and the Democrats did a better job.
No, I don't think only one side did it if it was done. There are allegations going on now about PACs formed to support spoiler candidates that helped Republican candidates win office.
However, after everyone cried foul in 2016 this had to be one of the most closely watched elections. Ever. There's always a chance for incompetence, but it's less likely under intense scrutiny and oversight. There haven't been any big revelations from the courts or anywhere else so far.
2) People who did mail-in votes were more likely to vote for Biden.
Trump trash talked mail-in ballots and encouraged all his supporters to vote in person on election day. I bet they mostly did. He had a strong turnout and good numbers. Trump supporters in general tend to be less fearful of the pandemic.
On the other hand, Biden did not trash talk mail ballots. His supporters tend to be more fearful of the pandemic. I expect more of them used mail-in ballots.
So I'm pretty sure this headline is true. Trump got the vast majority of his votes cast by people who voted in person. Biden had a portion of his votes that came in over time.
If the mail-in ballots were done legally, then they should count.
Trump's reaction was very human in it's frustration (and why many of his supporters feel he's more trustworthy than typical politicians), but unprofessional (and why many of his detractors have a problem with how he conducts himself).
I couldn't help but feel that Facebook might be having some fun at Trump's expense with their fact checking on his posts. Trump went after them multiple times and I'm sure the company didn't appreciate it.
Trump's posts are probably the closest I or many other people will ever see a President's true feelings and reactions whether people agree with them or not.
I flipped back and forth between Fox and CNN to see the different takes and spins they put on things.
For the most part their numbers and races called were in line with each other. The headlines they delivered around those numbers? Very different.
I'm sure that many people have felt uncertain with Trump refusing to acknowledge Biden's victory and his claims of voter fraud.
My life has gone on as usual. I wake up, work, and do my best to be a blessing to everyone I talk to.
One student said something about the election a couple of times, but the rest have all been quiet. I teach math, so it's not like current events are a frequent topic. I normally hear something, but with Zoom making every discussion a full class discussion by default students seem to be much more cautious with what they say.
I do check the news out of curiosity to see how things unfold. If Trump really tries to throw down it could be a major catastrophe for the democratic process, but personally, I don't think he will. My personal prediction is he will be upset, do everything he can to find a conspiracy or a loophole, not find anything, sulk, and make his exit.
More interesting question: What will Trump do in his final moments and after he leaves the presidency? Who will he pardon? What can he pardon? Pre-pardons? Will he try to pardon himself? Or does that admit he did something?
The headlines of CNN and Fox continue to be very different even as the same events unfold before both of them.
Clearly, Fox is anti-Biden.
And CNN is anti-Trump.
In my opinion, less-biased news has been a casualty of the past decades.
I'm sure someone will come out with a book or story about the election that happened this year. I'm not going to read it, but I have found the extreme reactions on social media interesting. They're there, but almost never with anyone I talk to directly.
Historic times. I prefer to leave them to the historians, but I can't ignore it all in my blog either. Shane may have to do a book report on this one day and the screenshots could be interesting.
The school board voted to move to Phase 3 by a vote of 4-3 on October 8th. The vote shows basic public opinion. A teacher I know watched some of the public comment section and said it was, "more dramatic than a TV talk show." The online comments I looked at were certainly very for or very against......and it was also clear many hadn't read what the actual plan was.
Phase 3 involves brining PK-3rd grade students back for 2 days a week hybrid and the rest virtual. The older grades will allow more ESL, SPED, and disengaged students access to the building, as well. However, the model for the older kids won't be about instructing them in person. It will be more about giving them access to a quieter, internet-equipped environment. There will be TA's in the room to help keep them employed, but kids won't move from room to room and teachers will still be virtual.
I'm for it. The youngest kids are the ones who seem to be the least successful with virtual school and the least at risk from COVID. Based on all the numbers we've seen in the area, I think it's good to cautiously push forward.
A survey was sent out to parents and teachers once the vote was made. It said that 55% of parents were planning to send their children in while 45% opted to remain full virtual (About what you'd expect based on the board vote). Age of the child was a factor. The split was roughly 50-50 for 3rd grade students whereas 70% of parents of preschool children said they'd be sending their kids in.
200 teachers said they didn't want to return to in-school learning with 2 retiring, 3 taking a leave of absence, 51 citing ADA allowing them to remain virtual and the remaining 136 opted out for other reasons which may or may not be honored. I wonder if that was only Elementary teachers included in that number. On my survey I said "No" and in the comments put I had a 4th grade student and wanted to remain virtual until he could return to hybrid. I could see other teachers being in the same boat where they'd be okay returning except childcare becomes the stumbling block.
It's a puzzle. I'm hoping and praying things go well, because then there's a chance we could go to Phase 4 at the start of next year. That's when high schools would go back to a hybrid model and I'd be in the classroom.
The one part of Phase 3 I'm unsure about are sports. Or I guess I should say, I'm not sure about *my* sport: Wrestling.
Phase 3 allows for sports to begin training again. At the moment, I think it says that teams can train up to twice a week with days in between. I think there are still rules to prohibit too much contact and interaction...which is fine for many sports, but wrestling? If wrestling is anything it's up close and personal! If we have to restrict activities to individual conditioning and drill with no partners will that really be worth it?
Plus, on a selfish note, I don't know if I really want to spend 45 minutes driving to the school for an hour to an hour and a half after teaching online all day (and in the window there will still be daylight for horse chores). And yet, if I don't do it would that leave Coach Rick on his own? And what about the kids who are desperate for that sense of team community?
That's a personal problem for me to figure out. I want to see what the actual model is going to look like before I commit to a decision. There's online trainings I need to do, etc.
There's a recurring theme in Matthew 6 that leads into this post. See if you can spot it from these snippets.
"2 So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (Matthew 6:2-4)
"5 And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (Matthew 6:5-7)
"16 When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." (Matthew 6:16-18)
So I have been fasting from coffee.
Normally, I wouldn't mention it for reasons you may have read above. It's not a grand gesture or severe task. It is my preferred way to start the morning and I have substituted tea instead to avoid caffeine withdrawal. I only have coffee on Sunday to celebrate the sabbath and practice gratitude.
The purpose of the fast is to remind and focus me on praying for healing of a strained relationship. Fasting does not add a special power to a prayer formula to make God act like a genie in a lamp. The Bible does talk about it being beneficial and the above quotes were Jesus speaking.
The relationship in question involves Carrie and a friend she considers dear who became upset and stopped communicating. Carrie has tried to reach out to no avail and the situation hurts her heart.
I meant to pray daily for it, but didn't always remember.
Which led to the fast. I felt bad I kept forgetting, and how could I say something was important to me if I wasn't willing to pay anything for it?
King David and was offered something for free. Instead of taking it, he insisted on paying the full price.
"24 But King David said to Ornan, 'No, but I will buy them for the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, nor offer burnt offerings that cost me nothing.' (1 Chronicles 21:24)”
To assign something value means it has a cost. Whether or not you're willing to pay the cost speaks to how you value it.
And I didn't tell Carrie. She noticed me drinking tea, but she didn't think there was anything behind it.
Until the day she wanted me to try her coffee.
It was a good morning. Carrie had mixed her coffee just right and wanted me to taste it.
Which left me with a choice: Say no or break the fast.
I declined and she insisted.
I continued to decline and she wanted a reason. A reason that I didn't want to give.
And no matter how calm and how eloquent I phrased it, Carrie took it very differently! I felt it was a good demonstration of why she needed the prayer, but how do you say that to someone who's already upset!?
Carrie didn't want to speak to me afterward.
I've mentioned this before, but Carrie and I deal with anger differently. She normally flares quickly and wants to step away. I'm a slower burn and my instinct is to talk right away before I ruminate too long on it. I've learned it's better not to push right away and to give her a moment....especially when I'm not sure what to say!
Eventually, we did talk. I'd prayed about it and when I felt it was clear Carrie wouldn't be able to heal until I told her why I wouldn't sip her drink. "I didn't want to drink the coffee, because I have been fasting from it as I pray for you. It's a sign of how serious I am about it. I didn't want to tell you either, because Matthew 6 says....."
So I revealed the fast, but it started to heal the riff between Carrie and I before it could become a chasm. We talked more as the day went on and she felt better. I thanked God for that, but still wondered if I was meant to tell her about the fast or not.
Later though, a thought hit me: What if God had known all along I'd reveal the fast and planned to use it? Sometimes I think of God as a 'master strategist.' Was this one of those moments?
It sure felt like it. It had started a conversation and hopefully demonstrated to Carrie how I felt for her. The relationship hasn't been healed yet, but I've had relationships that took years to heal (and not for a lack of me trying!).
And what if this whole incident was also a blog post? The secret was out! Was this something I was supposed to write about?
Shane got to spend two weeks at Nana and Pop's. He's been living it large with cousins, trampolines, fast food, and grandparents! Nana and Pop have him call many nights and he talks about how wonderful it is.
Meanwhile, it was been hectic and busy at the barn. Shane got a ticket to paradise that left the station just before the stress express came in behind!
It started with Carrie trailering horses three days in a row and me picking up the chores while she did so. Ernie had surgery and then gave us all a scare by starting to colic. Carrie was especially scared, because she'd recommended the surgery and the owner's dad went into the hospital and into hospice at the same time all this was happening! Throw some other ongoing issues/conflicts in and Carrie was at her limit.
So I picked up whatever slack I could and stayed busy the whole time. I didn't write a single thing. If I ever realized I had the energy and focus to write, I quickly spent it on something else (like work emails!).
My own virtual school workload has continued to increase throughout. No longer is it "less work, but more draining." It is now "more work, because everything takes longer and I'm still not able to help everybody."
It's still going well for what it is, but the work/home divide was destroyed when I started having zoom meetings 6 or 7 days a week (Only 5 days are required, but I've had 30 minute chats here and there on Saturday and Sundays to help kids).
And that's why I'm two weeks behind on the blog. The only reason I'm catching up now is, because Carrie and Shane are both out of town and I'm two weeks behind!
I am constantly thinking of posts in my head. "This could make a fun story!" or "I feel this way about this. It's short and clear"
Two things tend to happen: I either never write the post or I start to write but 'short' and 'clear' are nowhere to be found!
Yesterday's post fell into the latter. "It's important to allow kids to makes choices. Because....and because this...and that....this, too....can't forget about.....oh boy."
I've got a good example of the former, too.
A few nights ago, Shane had Loki barking wild and Carrie had enough.
"Each time he barks I'm sending you to bed a minute early!" she said.
Shane slumped on the couch. He wasn't happy about it, but he took the hint.
Things calmed down.
Later I plopped down on top of Shane. It wasn't fast. It wasn't loud. It wasn't intended to make the dog bark, but Loki came running across the room broadcasting he wanted to join in.
"Uh oh! 1-2-3....I wonder how early I can get you to go to bed!" I said.
"What!?" Shane yelled. "You can't do that!"
"..7-8..He's looking pretty pumped! 12!" I laughed.
Shane looked me right in the eye. He looked unsure if he should laugh or protest.
Carrie looked up, too.
"What are you all doing!?"
"Nothing! I'm just laying here and smooshing Shane into the couch. He's not doing anything!"
Loki continued to bark.
And then Carrie took up the count.
"20...21...22..."
But she was smiling.
By the end of it, Shane could have been sent to bed an hour early! We all had a laugh, Loki got out some energy, and the TV went on to wind down afterward.
And I feel like I could've told that story so much faster in person. But as is, it at least avoided being never written!
I'm a big believer in giving kids the chance to make a choice.
Kids need to practice making choices before they're adults and making choices anyway. Our choices help define who we are and who we are going to become, so why not gain some experience early on?
Choices give kids a sense of agency, a chance to learn responsibility, and uncover more of their identity.
Wow, Mike. That was a pretty heavy way to start a blog post. Were you trying to write a research paper?
No, but it's something I think about. It's something that I factor in to how I teach, too, so I felt like it.
And though, I started heavy a kid's first choices shouldn't be. They could choose the color of the cup they want to use, or which toys they want to take outside.
Being allowed to choose lets kids practice some control over their lives. If done well, it can give them experience in being decisive when the stakes are low.
The caregiver's responsibility is to give appropriate choices and then follow through with what the child chooses. In this, bad choices and good choices are both okay. The child should experience the results of their choice and be given time and help to reflect on it. When they're old enough, the kid should be coached to think about any costs a choice may have up front.
And it's okay to make the same bad choice multiple times. Sometimes we don't learn things the first time around. As long as the results are not worst-case, deadly, or a pattern the child can't break free of without help then children should experience the consequences both good and bad from what they choose.
Most people naturally prefer positive consequences and will aim towards those. What they find positive can reveal something of the identity of who they are and who they are becoming.
The choices we make time and time again build a part of our identity. It can be something as simple as a matter of preference: like cheering for the same team repeatedly or choosing a favorite color. But the repeated choices to do something like being grateful or showing respect build character and the hard choices that have a cost reveal things at a person's core (both to themselves and others).
And it's never too late to start making different choices if someone discovers they're on the wrong path.
It can be scary to think about giving a kid choices, because it takes away control from the parent and gives it to the child.
But that's the goal. The power to makes choices should be turned over to the child at the right rate for them as they grow into an adult capable of making the right decisions at the right time.
The parent will lose the power to control choices naturally as they child grows anyway. It's better to cede it naturally in a scaffolded way that builds good character in the child than it is to fight a losing battle that could damage the relationship or child. Or worse, the parent could win the battle.
It's an extra special moment for a parent when a child chooses something they love without being forced.
Which is why I think God offers us choices, too. Love is not in coercion. It is in giving. In giving the choice and sometimes even in paying the cost of that choice for them.
By a 4-3 vote it was decided to reject the School Superintendent's plan.....wait a minute.
No, wait 10 minutes.
There was a break and then someone changed their vote. This time, the school board voted 4-3 to accept the School Superintendent's plan and do a full virtual opening for 1st quarter.
I had hoped to go back part time with a virtual opening, but it's now my job to make their decision the best decision for the county as far as I'm able.
And I hope it is!
Honestly, it was a tough vote. People weren't going to be happy whatever the outcome was. I don't want to be a school board member any time soon (if ever). I do want to get on teaching.
Tuesday 8/18 was our first virtual work day. The students won't start until September 8th.
It's...different. It's a mix of easy and difficult.
Easy - It's hard to sit in on zoom meetings. I'm saving on my commute (~45 minutes and ~34 miles a day). Then there are online tech trainings for things I've already been doing (Estimated completion time - 3 hours.....it took me 20 minutes. I took another 20 minutes, because I felt guilty).
Hard - The 'rules' for what we're doing aren't exactly finalized. I have tons of ideas, but I want to know what the structures are before I run with something. I'd hate to spend hours fleshing out a plan only to scrap it when the winds change. While I'm excited, other teachers are clearly anxious and I sat through one planning meeting that felt like most of the teachers in the room were spiraling into panic mode and nothing got done for hours.
It's going to be a whole new ball of wax. It's nothing I would have chosen, but that does make it interesting. It will probably be the type of 'interesting' I only want to do once, but I'm ready to get to it!
I never asked for a garden. It did make me think on some Biblical principals while I was weeding it.
First, weeds spring up. Anywhere. Anytime. It doesn't matter how nice it looked before and what precautions were in place. They creep.
Second, if you do do something about the weeds that spring up they will grow....and grow.....and grow.
In the Parable of the Sower, "Other seeds fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants." (Matthew 13:7). While the seeds that fell on good soil "...produced a crop - a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown." (13:8).
Can thorny patches be weeded? Can they become better soil, so the seeds will grow?
"The seed falling among thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful." (Matthew 13:22).
Worries certainly feel like weeds. Whenever one is taking care of, something else likes to pop up and take it's place.
My weeding was part necessity and part inspired by Carrie worrying about getting the house in order before her parents visited. Hopefully, the inspiration was more from a desire to show love than a fear of human judgement! (Proverbs 29:25, 2 Timothy 1:7).
And even if all the weeds are gone, nature abhors a void. "When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go and live there." (Matthew 12:43-45).
In the gardens case, there's what was planted. But in a heart's case?
These are some of the things I pondered while sweating away. Quiet, menial work can be good for the soul.
The other theme that filled my thoughts as I worked was being a leader. I want to be a good leader of my family.
From a worldy sense, running around all day doing all the dirty work weeding and shoveling poop is far from glorious. The world views leaders as people who make important decisions and tell other people what to do. Worldly leaders gain power, earn accolades, and demand respect.
Jesus gives a very different example. He has power, is at peace, and washes his disciples' feet. "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you should also wash one another's feet. I have set for you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." (John 13:12-15).
I feel like a large part of my job as a leader of my household is to serve the members in it. To prepare the soil around them, so that their seed can grow into what it was meant to become. If that means using my work break to weed the front for Carrie, or to give up my chance at time on the computer when Shane's earned a reward then that's what it means.
It does feel good to accomplish something. In many ways the work puts my heart in a better place. "And he who waters will himself be watered." (Proverbs 11:25).
I thought about writing this blog the day I was weeding. Sadly, I didn't. Instead, it became something of a block. I wanted to write it before I moved on and since I didn't write it the blog never moved on!
Sometimes I find it intimidating to write out my thoughts with Biblical references. My feelings? No problem. But the Bible is Truth and I don't want to treat it lightly.
Which is not a reason to avoid doing it. If anything, I should do it more often.
I could go back, revise, make more connections, quote more verses, and revise again in an endless cycle until the process became another block. However, we're asked to step out on faith and trust that one greater than us has a plan in place.
Which in some regards, is a fancy way of saying, "click Publish, Mike."
The skew of the news continues to amaze me. I feel like it's gotten more blatant (First with Trump; Then with the pandemic).
Fact of life: There's more stuff going on in the world than any one person can keep up with.
Corollary: What you do keep up with will affect your view of things.
I like to take screencaps of Fox and CNN at the same time to compare.
CNN felt that the virus and hypocrisy in the government remained top concerns when I grabbed this (or that they'd get the most clicks...).
This was what showed on Fox at the same time. They looked more concerned with lawlessness, protesters, gun rights for self-protection, and bias at CNN.
I revisited both sites in the afternoon and my findings were consistent. CNN put Covid in big letters. There was a story about OK's governor testing positive and the controversy behind Trump supporting Goya because they supported him.
Fox continued to show they support Trump and what protesters were up to.
A quick note on Trump and Biden: Both are going to screw up. They're human.
Let's pretend Trump and Biden each do 10 things in a day: 5 good and 5 bad.
What do you suppose readers of CNN will think if CNN posts 3 good things from Biden and 3 bad things from Trump?
What do you suppose readers of Fox with think if Fox posts 3 good things from Trump and 3 bad things from Biden?
I feel like it's gotten to the point where if you only watch one source for your news it will skew your thinking.
There's a correlation between the types of news and types of jokes I see people post on my social feed...
This is the type of meme someone who watches CNN may post.
Whereas this is the type of meme people who watch Fox tend to post.
Can you see the humor in both?
Now, I'm not claiming that someone who only follows CNN or Fox will agree with them 100% and be identical to everyone else who follows that page. In my life, I have noticed that people I talk to who follow one site or the other tend to bring up the topics that hit the front pages of those sites more often. I haven't pulled out a tally book and tried to form quantitative data to prove the social connection, but I do have my screen caps.
A few days later, here's CNN:
And here's Fox:
I've noticed that I have an increased tendency to click on stories that are either shocking or I've already followed other stories that tie in. I believe that people (me included) have a tendency to like to follow 'storylines.' The more you read about one topic, the more willing you are to keep going down the rabbit hole.
My own bias: I tend to prefer CNN. I'm not saying they're unbiased, but I feel like Fox is more alarmist and spins things far further. Plus, CNN tends to have more random links. In this side-by-side, I clicked on the "Wendy's launches a rewards program" on the CNN side.
One of the story lines I see that keeps hitting Fox is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I feel like she and "the squad" pop up there while I almost never see her on CNN.
And then a few days later she hit CNN.
I hadn't started writing yet, so I thought, "I guess I have to throw that screen grab in now, too!" It proved me wrong that she "never" showed up on CNN, but notice why it hit CNN and what the other link above it is....
I find it dangerous to read the comments whenever I see these articles as I'm scrolling through my Facebook feed. Internet comments tend to be a troll cesspool.
I bet that guy reads Fox news.
I find most people don't want to believe that what they read influences their own thoughts and stances on an emotional level. We all want to believe we only look at the facts and arrive at the truth.
So for my final screen caps, I want to show competing headlines for the same topic. Fox and CNN even used some of the same pictures!
Notice how Fox phrases things in the link to their story....
....and notice how CNN phrases things in theirs.
You can see from the screenshots that I grabbed the pictures at the same time (9:55 with 53% battery!).
I don't have the time or energy in my life to always read two articles of everything and compare notes. Most people don't.
I do believe it's important to be aware of what you're reading, where it comes from, why it might be imperfects and how it can affect you.
Which is why it's important to read things that will build you up and give you life. Like the Bible! It gives me Hope by reading it each morning. Reading only the news is like eating a steady diet of junk food. It will leave you with indigestion and a sense of depression.
Carrie took Shane to Lowe's and it was the perfect opportunity to write.
I started off by reading a chapter of my book to put me in the mood.
Then I scribbled a few notes on paper and sat down. I'd start with a hunting scene to introduce a character.
Only I realized I didn't really know much about hunting, so I went straight to the google.
Then I started researched ibexes, because those are more fascinating than deer.
But that didn't work with one of my ideas, so I started researching hunting again.
Atlatls are making a comeback? Where are some videos of those?
You know what, looking up hunting and ibex made me wonder about the history of Switzerland. Youtube suggested this really cool looking animated video....
I didn't get much done.
And it's crap.
I think they were gone for almost two hours.
Logically, I know that I don't need to know everything to write a good story. I don't like it when authors hit the exposition too heavy, but when it was my turn to write I wanted to know enough to feel qualified to write what I was going to write.
I've thought enough here and there to scribble out a basic plan and world. I've looked up all sorts of random things including tidal locking and Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about how water towers work, too!
But not much is written yet. It takes a bit for me to settle into a flow and I don't know the next time Carrie and Shane are going to go to Lowe's!
A teacher I know linked an open-letter to our school system to keep all classes virtual only. She hadn't written the letter, but I scrolled through and recognized multiple signatures at the end.
I saw a similar letter for the city schools. There, too, I recognized names of old colleagues.
After I saw the letter about the city schools employees wanting to remain virtual, I saw an open letter from city parents who wanted the schools open 5 days a week.
All the letters were well written and (from my skimming) not sensational about their stances.
My Facebook feed and the comments on news posts I read were far more extreme. A chunk thought it was egregious to set foot in a classroom and sacrifice children and teachers. A chunk thought it was going to cause the downfall of our nation if the fear-porn didn't end and schools failed to support those in need.
For all it's wonders, it feels like the internet really highlights the differences and divides in this time.
There was a survey that was sent out to teachers last week about our concerns and how we feel about returning to school.
So where do I stand?
Carrie asked me how I felt about it. I said, "I want to go back."
I support returning with caution.
I think the numbers support it for our County as of this screen grab (It'd be a "No way!" if we lived in Florida...).
531.7 out of every 100,000 is a 0.53% infection rate.
9.2 deaths/100k is a 0.0092% rate of death.
Those deaths are tragedies for all the families involved. I am not trying to make light of them.
Driving is considered a necessary risk and students are allowed to drive to school. The number of deaths from COVID are at a greater rate (10 deaths in 4 months equates to 30 per year). The county roads average about 10 deaths per year from what I read (2017 - 10 fatalities, 2018 - 10, 2019 - 9). I don't think the rate is high enough to warrant ignoring the good the schools could accomplish.
I have lost students before. There was a murder-suicide where the father killed the whole family....another died of a heroin overdose after a long history of opiod addiction....another was flung from the car after a wild DUI as a passenger, and a middle schooler died after standing on an electrical box exploded and threw him into power lines. And those are only my more extreme stories. There have been more 'mundane' ones, but all of them were tragedies for those who knew them.
Death is not the only danger with COVID-19 as strain on hospitals and a host of other side effects including lung and brain damage have been listed as possible.
I am no expert. This is my opinion at this moment. New research could come out that says things are getting better or that they're getting worse.
The biggest danger to my view is an outbreak. The numbers are manageable now. Students are already out of school. What happens when they return? What is the plan if a student is sick? What will the county do if the numbers grow? How quick will they react and will it be soon enough?
I like some of the proactive changes my school system has proposed.
The biggest change is switching to a 4x4 schedule. That's where students take 4 classes the first half of the year and then take 4 classes in the second half of the year.
I've taught in that structure before. There are pros and cons, but the pros really help the current situation:
1) Students would be in half as many classrooms.
2) Students would be exposed to fewer students.
3) Teachers would be exposed to fewer students.
4) Students would be focused on fewer courses at a given time in they were working virtually.
5) The same goes for teachers. It's easier to trade emails with 3 classes of students than 6.
There's a lot of things that are still unknown.
Would we be in school 2 days a week? Or more? I'd rather start with 3 or fewer days.
What about if a student refuses to wear a mask? Would they be sent home? Or would they remain?
I believe the masks will be critical. I have mine and I plan on wearing one if I do go in the building (Even though I find it highly annoying!).
This is not a final opinion. I wrote a lot, because I'm still considering a lot. It's on my mind as I read news/science articles and wait to hear what else is being planned. I talked to Matt G about what's being done where he is and he said a survey listed something like 56% of teachers were uncomfortable with returning while only 33% of parents were planning on keeping their kids home ("The numbers don't add up there, Mike! You're a math teacher!").
I became a teacher, because I want to be a positive influence in student lives. I am currently not an at-risk population member or in frequent, close contact with at-risk populations, so I am more free to return.
Others are not in that situation. I don't think it's wrong if they decide they don't want to return to protect their loved ones.
So yeah. It's a difficult and evolving situation. There's no way there will be a plan that satisfies everybody.
UPDATE: Supposedly over 600 teachers in the county signed the open letter. Another teacher I talked to mentioned South Korea shutting down their schools after reopening. I looked into it some. They shut down when there were 49 new cases and they reopened shortly thereafter. But that's not the whole story, because they reopened and many students stayed home. There's no clear answer of 'catastrophe' or 'safe' on this one from what I've read. There's a chance for both and that allows people to latch on to what they want to and that makes it all difficult.
UPDATE 2: Richmond and some other districts announced a virtual only opening. There's a set of scheduled town halls for us at the end of the month to hear what people think. The two most likely options seem to be 4 days of school a week with half the kids showing up M/W and the other half Tu/Th or an all-virtual opening.
I went to the brewery to meet up with the WoT group again. Perk of knowing the head brewer: No one was there. We went on a day it was closed, but he has a key!
Scott was kind enough to bring the prequel novel and loaned it out to me. I'm going to read it while Mark catches up to where we are (though, no one is going to catch Scott. I stopped reading, but he went ahead and finished Book 6!).
Something that came up during our hangout was world-building. You can't talk about Robert Jordan without world building coming up at some point!
However, in this case we discussed doing it ourselves. It turned out I'm not the only one who's thought (or attempted) writing a book.
I have been doing some planning. It's hard with Shane. It's been hard enough to keep up with the blog! I finished watching the writing lectures, but it was easier to watch something than it is to produce something.
I wonder if my book group could become a writing group. At least something every now and then. I'm happy to talk and looking forward to going through the Wheel of Time, so I wouldn't be disappointed if writing never came up again.
Shane and I look forward to the annual beach trip every year. This year has been different. Shane's wildly excited. I'm the one feeling cautious.
I'm not the only one either. All the siblings have been trying to distance beforehand. Pop had a rough bout with food poisoning that put him in an Israeli hospital in January. His kidneys put him in the high-risk category for coronavirus. And baby Graham's under 6 months old.
The odds were low, but the stakes were high.
There's no guarantee everyone would remain healthy or that we'd be able to meet next year. Megan was scheduled to move to an overseas post for several years over summer. Nana and Pop made the decision to go forward and hoped to see as much of the family as they could.
When my siblings started to say they were in I kept quiet. A month out, Carrie didn't want Shane and I to go at all. She was worried about the virus spreading at protests and that Heidi being in and out of care would increase our chances of being exposed. I said I wanted to hold off a decision to wait, pray, and see how the data trended.
Thankfully, the numbers for VA did trend downward even with everything going on. I can't tell you if it's due to the masks, people being cautious, less deadly strains of the virus becoming predominate, or God just saying, "Let's slow it down."
Shane and I buckled up and headed to the coast Sunday afternoon. I knew it would probably be okay, but the fear of being the one to introduce the virus to my family still nagged. We've been very careful. Shane and I prayed before we left that we'd all stay healthy or that God would be with us if we did get sick (It was a common prayer at meals and I'm sure at bedtime throughout the week!).
Fear is a liar. Fear will tell you everything that possibly could go wrong and then if one of the endless situations it predicts plays out it will tell you it was right all along.
But I was still nervous for the first several hugs. We were all in.
I'm writing this 5 days after the beach trip ended and 12 days after the first of the family arrived. So far, everyone's reporting in as healthy! I'm the only outlier with my allergies, but those are a minor nuisance in the scheme of things.
I'm really glad we got to go and make memories this year. I've uploaded a ton of pictures I have to write posts for.
Shane wants to stream video games when he grows up.
I put him on my computer with headphones, so that I could have a moment of quiet.
Shane started talking.
To himself.
There were lots of "Whaaaa!?" and "That's so crazy!" thrown into his self-narration.
He wasn't on a voice call or channel was he?
"Nope!" Shane said. "Just talking to myself!"
The only time there's peace and quiet in my house is when everyone's asleep....and that's when the cats start to run around!
The older I get, the more I appreciate peace and calm.
Meanwhile, Shane has an adverse reaction whenever it sets in. He starts to hum, sing, talk, or chase Loki around to get him barking!
True story: I played Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden for Shane. The tune popped into my head and Shane liked to put black holes into imaginary robots he built.
I didn't realize that Shane would sit in a chair next to me while I was trying to write and chant. "Black hole sun.....black hole sun.....black hole sun..."
I started to count, but lost my patience before he ever showed any signs of quitting.
"Is there a reason you're chanting that?" I asked.
"Huh?" Shane said. "No, not really. I like the song."
It continued.
"Black hole sun....black hole sun...."
"Could you stop? You keep saying it over and over and over..."
"Sorry, dad."
...
".....black hole sun....black hole sun..."
Best way to kill a song? Play the chorus on loop and out of key. It'll die faster if you do this while you're trying to focus on something quietly.
The realities of parent-hood can murder nostalgia from days of old.
And quiet.
Quiet is quickly a casualty of kids.
Whoever said, "Kids should be seen not heard," was probably at the end of their rope as their kids made a racket or hummed in their ears while they tried to read a book.
When I listen to understand, I'm focused on the other person.
It's a lesson I've learned after being in many, many arguments and stressful positions.
It doesn't always work, but it works enough.
Or to put it another way: Trying to come up with the right thing to say is focused on me. Trying to understand is focused on whomever is speaking.
I was going to write more about an incident, but Shane keeps talking to me across the room! He wants me to listen non-stop! Every time he does anything in Super Metroid he wants me to look and celebrate. That really cuts into my ability to focus!
Wherever there are people, there will be different views. With enough people to pull from, news sites can inevitably find someone who says what they want said.
That's no reason to give up on being informed, though. There are often patterns that emerge.
One patterns that has emerged is that there is a revolving door in the White House. People are appointed. There is drama. People leave. The drama continues afterward.
A recent example I've seen in the news is retired General James Mattis. CNN was happy to air his opinions on Trump's handling of the recent protests.
Fox was happy to air the rebuttal and people who disagreed.
In the beginning, there was bilateral support and praise for Mattis' appointment (even in the news media!).
Mattis' appointment required a vote and it passed in the senate with 98 approving, 1 voting against, and 1 vote not cast. I didn't bother to look up the House vote record.
Mattis had a reputation for being good at his job and for being focused on the mission rather than politics.
I think of a good leader as someone who can work with and bring out the best in the people around them to accomplish a mission.
Personally, I want to work under a principal who knows what they're doing. I want them to build a cohesive staff through hiring and training. I want them to create a healthy, team-oriented climate in the school. I want them to celebrate successes, not be afraid to make hard decision, and to always be growing rather than stuck in their ways. I want a leader who can realize when he made a mistake, learn from it, and then fix it or at least come out wiser.
I've had multiple principals like this.
I've also had principals who were not like this.
Turnover is a given in schools as people move, start families, try new opportunities, have life crisis, and even burn-out. But the schools I've been at where people wanted to be and the schools where people couldn't wait to get out of had very different feels to them.
A good leader can take a group of diverse people with diverse skills and meld them together to become greater than the sum of the parts.
Trump doesn't fit the bill.
Trump is not the only president to have turnover in the White House, but it feels to me like he's had a larger number of flame-outs that even I can name.
There was Tillerson at the State Department. My dad worked at Exxon and described Tillerson as intelligent and business-minded (and I take note when my dad calls someone intelligent). Rumors were that he called Trump a "moron."
Then there was Bolton the ex-National Security Advisor. His book is due to be published at the end of June with hints of subpoena threats and tell-it-all-drama proceeding.
Trump could be terrible at picking people. Maybe Bolton would have written a dramatic book so he could get rich no matter who the president was. Maybe Tillerson would have not liked to have anyone in authority over him after being in charge of his own company.
On the other hand, Trump could be terrible at managing people. From the outside, it seems like he enjoys pitting people against each other where he stays on top and no one can ally against him.
Or perhaps it's a combination of both?
However it happened, the turnover and the wounds left in its wake is a bad sign. Picking terrible people is a weakness in a leader and the best leaders are able to bring out the best in their employees.
No one will get it right all of the time and being in the spotlight means every mistake gets broadcast by competing news media.
I wrote this now, because I have been disheartened with how Trump has been handling the protests. Instead of trying to listen and heal the nation, it feels like he has tried to bully his opponents into backing down and has fanned flames rather than extinguishing them.
By the way, the bishop of the church was not pleased.
I saw the meme and wondered if it was cherry-picked and doctored (because people do that). I watched an interview with the bishop and while I didn't hear those exact words in that exact order I did hear a very similar message.
General Milley who was present at the photo-shoot has apologized for being there. When I tried to look it up, I was treated to lots of talking heads from different media groups before I found the source material.
9:48 is where the General talks about Lafayette Square. He does speak against racism earlier on, as well.
I respect that he would publicly humble himself to say what he did.
And that's enough for now.
This whole post is basically a lament about not having what I view as a good leader in the White House. Trump seems incapable of ever admitting wrong-doing, attacks, calls names, and has further polarized an already polarized country. He's done some things I like: such as sanctioning China for walking back freedoms in Hong Kong. But Trump's solutions have come at a cost. They've usually been done in such a combative way they create more problems for further down the line.
I don't like to write political posts, and I wondered if it was a mistake to write this one. It does show some of what's been on my mind as I've been praying for the country, though. And it's already been written and I'm behind.
Bonus observation (Humorous):
Have you ever noticed how Trump will randomly type a few words in all caps in his Twitter feed? It always give me the image of him walking out on his balcony and bellowing out into the air.
I can't help but imagine Trump's trying to sound like Kirk in Star Trek 2.
I just imagine Trump throwing his head back, arms wide, breathing deep, and then shouting for an echo.
