Fasting Into an Argument? Who does that?

There's a recurring theme in Matthew 6 that leads into this post. See if you can spot it from these snippets.

"2 So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
(Matthew 6:2-4)

"5 And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
(Matthew 6:5-7)

"16 When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
(Matthew 6:16-18)

So I have been fasting from coffee.

Normally, I wouldn't mention it for reasons you may have read above. It's not a grand gesture or severe task. It is my preferred way to start the morning and I have substituted tea instead to avoid caffeine withdrawal. I only have coffee on Sunday to celebrate the sabbath and practice gratitude.

The purpose of the fast is to remind and focus me on praying for healing of a strained relationship. Fasting does not add a special power to a prayer formula to make God act like a genie in a lamp. The Bible does talk about it being beneficial and the above quotes were Jesus speaking.

The relationship in question involves Carrie and a friend she considers dear who became upset and stopped communicating. Carrie has tried to reach out to no avail and the situation hurts her heart. 

I meant to pray daily for it, but didn't always remember.

Which led to the fast. I felt bad I kept forgetting, and how could I say something was important to me if I wasn't willing to pay anything for it? 

King David and was offered something for free. Instead of taking it, he insisted on paying the full price. 

"24 But King David said to Ornan, 'No, but I will buy them for the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, nor offer burnt offerings that cost me nothing.' (1 Chronicles 21:24)” 

To assign something value means it has a cost. Whether or not you're willing to pay the cost speaks to how you value it.

And I didn't tell Carrie. She noticed me drinking tea, but she didn't think there was anything behind it.

Until the day she wanted me to try her coffee.

It was a good morning. Carrie had mixed her coffee just right and wanted me to taste it.

Which left me with a choice: Say no or break the fast.

I declined and she insisted.

I continued to decline and she wanted a reason. A reason that I didn't want to give.

And no matter how calm and how eloquent I phrased it, Carrie took it very differently! I felt it was a good demonstration of why she needed the prayer, but how do you say that to someone who's already upset!?

Carrie didn't want to speak to me afterward. 

I've mentioned this before, but Carrie and I deal with anger differently. She normally flares quickly and wants to step away. I'm a slower burn and my instinct is to talk right away before I ruminate too long on it. I've learned it's better not to push right away and to give her a moment....especially when I'm not sure what to say!

Eventually, we did talk. I'd prayed about it and when I felt it was clear Carrie wouldn't be able to heal until I told her why I wouldn't sip her drink. "I didn't want to drink the coffee, because I have been fasting from it as I pray for you. It's a sign of how serious I am about it. I didn't want to tell you either, because Matthew 6 says....."

So I revealed the fast, but it started to heal the riff between Carrie and I before it could become a chasm. We talked more as the day went on and she felt better. I thanked God for that, but still wondered if I was meant to tell her about the fast or not.

Later though, a thought hit me: What if God had known all along I'd reveal the fast and planned to use it? Sometimes I think of God as a 'master strategist.' Was this one of those moments?

It sure felt like it. It had started a conversation and hopefully demonstrated to Carrie how I felt for her. The relationship hasn't been healed yet, but I've had relationships that took years to heal (and not for a lack of me trying!).

And what if this whole incident was also a blog post? The secret was out! Was this something I was supposed to write about?

I sure hope so, because you just read it.