Pee Problems

Shane's had a number of accidents this week. It's strange, because he really hasn't had many before. Shane knows poops are rewarded, so he won't let those loose just anywhere. 

Potty Trained

Shane's officially potty trained.

Actually, he's been there for the past month or so. It started one week with an incredulous "You put him to bed in underwear?"

We haven't bought diapers since November 20th and we've got a bunch left.

It's been great.

There have been a few times Shane has said "Uh-oh. I think pee-pee is coming out!" Most of those exclamations meant a sprinkle in the underpants and the rest was safely deposited in the toilet.

So why has my son decided to poop in his pants twice?

My reflexes were slow. I'm out of practice. Tuesday, Shane stopped playing, looked at me, and by the time I recognized the poop face it was too late.

That was the second poop.

The first one took us totally by surprise. Sunday, Shane wanted to watch what Carrie was doing on the computer. He watched quietly and then looked up. "Mommy, I pooped in my pants!"

Color me baffled. I don't know why Shane decided to do the deed.

What was the function of the behavior? Was Shane seeking attention? Did he miss the sensation? Or did he not want to stop whatever he was doing to take the time? Maybe Shane relies on us too heavily to assign potty breaks instead of self-monitoring?

I don't know. I hope it's not about to become a habit.

I do know that we want to avoid unintended consequences. The first incidence was messy. I took Shane up to the bath to clean his butt and underwear. I didn't want him to think pooping his pants meant a free trip to the bath, though. He may have considered that a reward. I filled the bath my 1/2" to 1" of cold water.

Shane was not amused.

I had Shane sit in it a couple of times for a short second or two. I wasn't out to torture my son. I dried Shane off quickly and dressed him warmly afterward. I wanted to A) clean off the poop, B) avoid a fun reinforcer (warm bath) and C) if the method I chose to do so was clearly un-fun that was okay, too.

Shane wet his pants at Nana's today, so we're not out of the woods on this one yet. I guess my son wants to keep us guessing.

Magic Pee

Yes, Shane is drawing in his toilet bowl.

And he is pumped about it.

I ventured into the wilds of a seemingly normal Virginia neighborhood to try and document this rare and extremely secretive ritual.

The toddler who is potty training is taught that their pee has magical properties. In the early stages, the tribal leader (hereby referred to as a "Nana") draws a symbol in the potty with a washable marker. The marker is reserved for this purpose and this purpose alone.

The toddler, excited by the imagery and newness of the experience, loses all hesitation to use the toilet.

There is much rejoicing when the image disappears under a stream of urine. Peeing has become fun.

Simple parents like myself have spit in toilets ("Pop the bubbles!") and dropped small, flush-able items like Cheerios before.

Magic Pee takes it to a new creative level!

Once a toddler is 'indoctrinated' they earn the right to doodle their own scribbles in the potty.

If done early enough, the toddler will have no recollection in adulthood that they used to enjoy making artwork in a commode.

My name is Mike and I used to draw in toilets. I did not know until my son followed in my footsteps.

Nana specializes in trying to make little kids eager to do what she wants instead of fighting it.

Potty Training Progress Update

Shane asked to sleep in underwear tonight. He survives 4 out of 5 naps dry. Will the flood be stayed till morning?

We shall see.

Pop Post

Pop sent this email the other night. It had a couple of Shane stories I thought I'd share...

Take it away, Pop!

Poop Control

Shane has total bowel control.

Once Shane realized he got rewards for pooping in the potty, he was game.

Then his natural stubborness kicked in. He refused to poop in the potty for a couple of weeks and would yell kick and scream if I tried to sit him on the potty (or interrupt him in a hiding place).

I stayed calm. I held my ground.

Now Shane works the system.

Shane will poop a single turd, clam up, and ask for a reward. Once the reward is done he will run over to the potty and drop another tiny turd. Again and again, he will tell you he's "All done!" and demand to poop again when he wants another reward.

The kid knows exactly what he's doing.

Nana said it took 11 days to potty train me at 2 years old. Shane's almost 3 and he's got the poop down pat, but who's smarter: the boy who learned early or the boy who held out until the adults around him sweetened the deal?

I've had to rework the rules.

Big dumps = lots of YouTube videos + a brownie or some sort of treat.

Little dumps = a little bit of computer time (in direct proportion to the amount of poop)

Dingleberries = one video. Repeated dingleberries get a "Good job!" or maybe another video if it's big enough

Otherwise, the kid would be in front of the computer all day long with a gut backed up with crap.

He's sneaky, too. Shane will run over, pull down his pants, and hop on the toilet without assistance. If you're slow to empty out the dingleberry (because let's say a hyper-active, excited two year old sprints off the toilet half naked to the computer) then Shane will plop down on the toilet, jump up and say "I did it! I pooped!"

That's right, my son is still in diapers, but knows all about how to pull a fast one.

You'd think that bladder control would roll with bowel control, but it hasn't. Shane will pee his pants without a care, but he guards his poops until he wants something and has an audience.

He's started to work his scam over at Nana and Pop's. They used to offer him toys for going on the potty, but the number of poops Shane takes in a day has skyrocketed. Shane came home yesterday with a fancy helicopter.

"It was expensive!" Nana said.

I arched an eyebrow.

"To someone." She ammended and smiled. Nana loves garage sales!

We've made progress, but I think I need to read another book on potty training. Otherwise, my son is going to put Nana and Pop in the poor house and learn how to use a mouse and keyboard before I want him to.

Hilarious

Good News from Sunday School

"I wanted to let you know that your son pooped in the toilet today." The Sunday school teacher smiled. "He told us he needed to go and he went!"

My heart leaped for joy. I told Shane how proud I was of him and he grinned and grinned.

Fast forward three hours and he took a dump behind his poop chair. He was not happy when I told him it was changing time. "I not done!"

Progress!

Toilet Turds

Have I mentioned Shane poops in the potty now?

Last Saturday, Shane woke up and looked me straight in the eye. "I need to poop in potty!"

I was taken aback. He's probably just saying that, because he wants garbage truck time, I thought.

Shane walked across the hall to the bathroom. I helped him up and he dropped a turd in five-seconds or less.

I made a huge deal out of it.

Will wonders never cease!?!? "YOU DID IT SHANE! HOORAY!!!"

I can't remember, but I may have woken up Carrie.

Shane almost fell in trying to bend over and examine his handiwork. He looked up with a big grin. "I want to watch garbage trucks!" He'd known all along what pooping meant.

We went downstairs and we watched the beejeebers out of YouTube garbage trucks.

"I want chocolate!" Shane said next.

I gave him chocolate.

I was on cloud nine. I wanted to shout to the world "My son poops in a toilet!"

Later in the day, he ran behind his pooping chair. "Shane, do you want to poop in the potty for more garbage trucks?" I asked.

"NO! I NO WANT TO GO IN POTTY! I POOP IN PANTS!"

And so, I didn't proclaim anything to the world.

The next day, Shane woke up and the cycle started again. "I want garbage trucks! I need to poop in potty!"

It's been hit or miss since. Sometimes Shane asks to use the potty or I talk him into it. Other times, I notice the furrowed eyebrows and grunts too late or Shane refuses.

If he's on a playground, all bets are off. Tunnels, swings and slides are a natural laxative.

It's still progress!

Pooping Out Progress

Monday night, Shane said "I need garbage trucks. I need to poop!"

Shane's getting with the program. I stuck him on the toilet and he went to work.

Ten to fifteen minutes later, he had a tiny turdlet slightly bigger than a garbanzo bean.

Carrie and I went ballistics. We hooped! We hollered! We cheered and cheered! Carrie gave Shane chocolate and I let him watch videos on Youtube with me.

Someone looking through the window would have thought my son accidentally scratched off all winning numbers on a lottery ticket. We made a huge production out of it.

Tonight, Shane tried again. He sensed bedtime was looming. I was getting ready to take him up and "I need garbage trucks! I want to poop!"

There was nothing to show for it ten minutes later, but progress is progress. Sitting on the potty and trying is the first step to a diaperless future!

BTW

By the way, if it sounds like any of my potty-training stories are complaining: they're not.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them poop.

I actually find most of the stories pretty hilarious.

It would be nice to quit shelling out for diapers, but it's not going to happen until it happens. I keep trying, because I feel like I have to make a successful potty trip available to Shane to qualify as a decent dad. Plus, I don't want to deal with diaper rash again. Shane may not remember how much it hurts, but I do.

Potty Training in a Nutshell

I talked to Nana on the phone today.

I had a story to tell.

Diarrhea Butt-Boy

Shane's butt is at Code Mustard Yellow Runny.

It's been that way since last Saturday.

I just thought I'd let the world know.

It is slightly relevant. The two times Shane's managed to poop in a toilet it's been when he was pooping four to five times a day! Wednesday was the first time I've ever managed to get him to produce on the potty.

I also have a pair of soiled shorts from a back-end explosion at daycare soaking in the bathroom sink!

The joys of potty training, right?

...

Actually, writing about it online and imaging a few "GROSS! Why did he write that!" faces brings a grin to my face. 

I must like potty humor. 

Withholding

One day, I caught him trying to poop behind our neighbor's truck, our shed, and in a closet. Each time I pulled him out, he decided he really didn't have to go after all.


Shane would rather hold out than poop in a toilet.

This can cause a build-up.

It'd be great to get that build-up in a toilet, but it's not happening when Shane would rather hold out than poop in a toilet.

After a couple of days, you allow the boy to run around the corner and grunt. I want the kid potty trained, but I don't want him to explode before we get there.

Today was a "let Shane clear himself out before he stops himself up too badly" day.

My son dropped a deuce so hard I'm surprised both of his legs are still attached. If he had tried to poop in his baby toilet he would have filled the bowl.

I've seen a lot of poop as a parent, but today's load was big enough to warrant a write-up.

Poop jokes haven't lost their flavor, but it will be nice when flushing is the extent of clean-up I have to do!

Potty Training

We have sorta-kinda begun potty-training with Shane. It started with me trying to get him to empty his bladder before he emptied it in his bathwater. It's progressed to all of the grandparents and us sticking Shane on the pot for diaper changes.Shane can pee on command in a toilet, but I think he more does it for his own amusement than any sense of wanting to be clean.

He also thinks it's quite funny to fart on the pot. That always gets big laughs.

He won't poop in it, though.

Yesterday, I caught Shane as he started to grunt in a corner (By this point in my life, I could recognize his poop face anywhere). I stuck him on the pot and cheered him like a first-time cheerleader. I was into it. Shane passed some gas, but nothing of substance. I strapped his diaper back on and he ran off and pooped in a corner post-haste.

Clearly, this is a work in progress (with a long way to go!).

Lack of Posting

With Shane at his grandparents' last week, you may have expected I would be posting more.

If so, you were wrong.

I was not expecting Shane to go back to his grandparents so quickly. Instead of reveling in my newly acquired free time, I lost some of my motivation. I ended up killing more time than seizing any diems. 

It's better to have meaningful work than oodles of free time. 

I have said it before and will need to be reminded again in the future. I get more accomplished and feel better when I have work I consider valuable than when I have more free time than I know what to with.

For me, taking care of my babe and baby counts as meaningful. 

Plus, Shane's where I get all my neat stories from! He accidentally dropped a small turd trying to tinkle in the toilet today. The boy couldn't believe it! 

...and yes, 'neat' is relative.

I stand by my previous statement.