Poop Control

Shane has total bowel control.

Once Shane realized he got rewards for pooping in the potty, he was game.

Then his natural stubborness kicked in. He refused to poop in the potty for a couple of weeks and would yell kick and scream if I tried to sit him on the potty (or interrupt him in a hiding place).

I stayed calm. I held my ground.

Now Shane works the system.

Shane will poop a single turd, clam up, and ask for a reward. Once the reward is done he will run over to the potty and drop another tiny turd. Again and again, he will tell you he's "All done!" and demand to poop again when he wants another reward.

The kid knows exactly what he's doing.

Nana said it took 11 days to potty train me at 2 years old. Shane's almost 3 and he's got the poop down pat, but who's smarter: the boy who learned early or the boy who held out until the adults around him sweetened the deal?

I've had to rework the rules.

Big dumps = lots of YouTube videos + a brownie or some sort of treat.

Little dumps = a little bit of computer time (in direct proportion to the amount of poop)

Dingleberries = one video. Repeated dingleberries get a "Good job!" or maybe another video if it's big enough

Otherwise, the kid would be in front of the computer all day long with a gut backed up with crap.

He's sneaky, too. Shane will run over, pull down his pants, and hop on the toilet without assistance. If you're slow to empty out the dingleberry (because let's say a hyper-active, excited two year old sprints off the toilet half naked to the computer) then Shane will plop down on the toilet, jump up and say "I did it! I pooped!"

That's right, my son is still in diapers, but knows all about how to pull a fast one.

You'd think that bladder control would roll with bowel control, but it hasn't. Shane will pee his pants without a care, but he guards his poops until he wants something and has an audience.

He's started to work his scam over at Nana and Pop's. They used to offer him toys for going on the potty, but the number of poops Shane takes in a day has skyrocketed. Shane came home yesterday with a fancy helicopter.

"It was expensive!" Nana said.

I arched an eyebrow.

"To someone." She ammended and smiled. Nana loves garage sales!

We've made progress, but I think I need to read another book on potty training. Otherwise, my son is going to put Nana and Pop in the poor house and learn how to use a mouse and keyboard before I want him to.