Bringing the Boy Home!

Sunday was the Day of the Return. I didn't want to get caught by surprise again, so I came prepared.

I could defecate in there. Shane's kept it as a drum and it's been taking up space under the sink. At least this way it could have a use (but hopefully not!).

The drive down was uneventful, but pretty. I listened to a short Agatha Raisin mystery and a sermon to fill most of the time (It was Sunday!). I beat the SC crew to the rendezvous Zaxby's by 15 minutes or so. I hopped straight into their car in the drive-through.

Nana and Pop were gracious enough to buy lunch for everyone. They saw a homeless man and drove over to give him a mana bag before we parked to eat. We saw another van drive up first and hand out coats before we drove over! It was nice to see people trying to spread God's love!

We sat, talked, ate, and enjoyed each other's company before transferring the luggage. Shane had a goofy smile on for the picture, so Pop helped him make it more natural.

Pop didn't stop when Shane hit the natural smile, though! 

Darkness starts after 5 PM in the fall, so things were getting dim as Shane and I pulled up to the barn. Carrie was helping Ellie with the evening chores. She took a time out to catch Shane as he launched himself at her!

Shane's learned that things change whenever he's gone for long enough. He spotted the new trailer right away and met Eowyn at the barn Honestly, I was surprised he recognized the differences in the trailer to know it was a new one!

Shane noticed Carrie had moved around the couches after the pee incident, as well. He might have said something else, but Loki was ecstatic and barking! He missed his boy!

Shane did some pushups to earn some electronics after running around like a madman. Loki helped.

Carrie fell asleep on the couch while we all watched some TV to end the night.

Shane had his Happy cat.

I put Shane to bed later and locked everything up. That included taking Loki out for one last bathroom break in the cold.

Then it was time to grade! I got in a full day's work between driving and grading.

Next week is going to be a short one for school. There's only two days and then we'll have some holiday time together as a family. I'm looking forward to it! 

November Virtual School at Nana and Pop's

November Nana-School started off with a party. 

There were trees to climb, games to play, and a 'queen' to walk!

The good times rolled!

Bryce left and things quieted down, but only a little. Shane and the cousins played every day like their days were numbered!

Nana and Pop were on it when it came to Shane's school work. I texted them pictures of whatever the bus dropped off and they'd help him attend AND pay attention in his classes.

And they'd quiz him outside of class, too! There was a clear reward structure based on performance. That's the sort of thing I'd want to do with unlimited time and energy. 

Structure is good for kids. You don't want to overdo it, but I knew Nana and Pop wouldn't. There were tons of time to hit up playgrounds and have fun!

 

And hopefully Shane's positive energy and novelty made things more fun for everyone!

Schools are back to in-person in SC. Class sizes are small and the wee ones are the least likely to catch anything. Hopefully, they just took the masks off for a quick picture here. Evelyn and Cole are not the most extroverted, so they're not going to spend much time inside other kids' orbits.

We'll keep Shane at home for a week once he gets home. I'm not terribly concerned based on my family's precautions, but it doesn't hurt to be considerate (just not paranoid!).

In the meantime, I'm thrilled Shane gets the chance to be around his cousins. He plays with all of them.

I laughed out loud when I read the story. I showed Carrie and Shane the texts, too. He was home by then! It shows his visit had a lasting effect.

But that's getting ahead of things. One of the other perks of Shane visiting Nana and Pop is he gets exposed to new things. We have our own routines here and Carrie largely controls the TV. What she watches is different from Nana and Pop. I remember watching Nick at Nite shows and other things like Murder She Wrote at Jama's house from my own childhood. That knowledge has made me able to make references and jokes with older colleagues to connect with them.

I mentioned Shane got to see some Highway to Heaven to some of the barn people and Barbara said she loved Michael Landon! Variety is a spice of life. I'm convinced God wouldn't have made such a diverse world if he didn't want us to experience diverse things.

We kept in contact with Shane over the phone. I think he started to miss us more (or Nana wanted us to keep him busy some) the second week, because we got more calls then.

In addition to calls and texts, Nana wrote emails. 

Some were funny.

Shane has been enjoying taking baths, but after the typhoon in the bathtub last night, he will have to take a shower next time. We'll let him take a bath again in a few days after the memory of the flooding lessons. No one enjoys water play and simulating hurricanes more than Shane. 

Some were cute.

Shane asked me today what I would do with it if I won a million dollars.  I said that I would probably donate some and save some of it, but wouldn't change my lifestyle. He said he would pay for a 2nd week's rent for the beach house and for a cruise for all the family so he could have more good times with his cousins. He sure loves family. 

Some were future blackmail material.

Yesterday, I asked Shane to explain why his poop coats the front of the toilet bowl where there is no water. I asked him if he sat on the toilet backwards. He said, no, that that would be ridiculous. He also explained that he sits only halfway back on the toilet seat so that toilet water will not splash on him when his poop drops. He likes his poop to land in very shallow water so there is no splash. Since he has a voracious appetite and loves fruit, I have been cleaning the toilet more often than desirable. Once I made him clean up after his "art work" in the bowl. I have suggested that he put 2 squares of toilet paper on the front of the bowl where his "art work" is landing frequently or put 2 squares of toilet paper in the middle of the bowl to prevent the splash as he sits further back. Honestly, I have not had a problem with splash-back myself, but I can empathize that it doesn't sound pleasant. 

And others exemplified he's my son.

Pop picked up donuts this morning and is bribing Shane to work harder with one. It takes a lot of encouragement and hands-on supervision to keep him working on his assignments. Shane says he's tired when it comes to school work, but has boundless energy otherwise. Pop is very determined though and persists in getting Shane to work. Shane reminds me so much of our sons growing up. The twins worked too hard and you boys excelled at relaxation. I told Shane that his standard for work will determine what kind of house, car and lifestyle he will have as an adult. I think he is tired of me nagging him to work harder. Expect complaints when he gets home. hahah

Oh boy! Nana's a better writer than she admits. I can hear her telling the stories in her own voice when I read them.

There was one paragraph from an email that came to mind when we were discussing when we'd meet up for the hand-off.

Pop keeps trying to get Shane to do the See-Saw assignments, but Shane says he can do them next week, that there is no big rush. Good thing Pop is bigger and wil make him do some of those assignments. 

Natural consequences can lead to intrinsic motivation! And they did here!

I'm looking forward to seeing Shane again, but I'm also looking forward to the next time he gets to spend time in SC. Maybe we can make a whole family trip if we get a barn sitter. I've been ready for it, and Carrie brought it up!

Our Paths Diverge - Shane's Tale

Shane had the most fun weekend out of the three of us. He got to go to SC and play to his heart's content!

Bruce, Reyna, and Bryce were staying at Nana and Pop's. They'd driven down for a short vacation and even offered to pick up Shane on the way. 

Bruce and Reyna are long time family friends through church. If anything were to happen to them, Nana and Pop have already said they would adopt Bryce (which would make Bryce Shane's uncle and my brother in a weird twist of events!). 

Shane and Bryce have known each other from a long time ago. They've bounced on the trampoline together at Nana and Pop's old NoVA house and even attended the same daycare while Carrie, Shane, and I were moving to Charlottesville. 

It's been a while since they've seen each other, but Nana said they hit if off again right away.

She said that all three boys played supremely well together. There was no pairing up and excluding anyone. It was a happy company. She enlisted them as "the queen's guards" when she took Indy on her walks (with Indy being the queen). Shane dubbed them the "three musketeers" instead and they all ran along too far ahead to do much guarding!

The timing really worked out well in that Kathleen and Stu rented a moon bounce to celebrate Evelyn's birthday. Evelyn didn't want a party. That was convenient in COVID times and the pandemic had driven down demand/prices for moon bounces, so Kathleen had been able to get a big one for the whole weekend at a good price! Shane and Bryce became the party goers and it was a fun weekend of climbing, bouncing, running, and playing the disaster survival game as a team on Roblox that Shane loves.

The boys had the time of their lives.

Nana said that Bryce begged to stay an extra night. Reyna said he cried when it was time to leave, too! 

I couldn't be happier that Shane got the opportunity to be with everyone. By being at Nana and Pop's he gets exactly what he needs and what I can't provide here right now. It's good for him and good for them, too. Shane brings a lot of positive energy and he plays really well with all of his cousins. I'm a proud dad. 

It's good for Carrie and me, too, as we've got plenty on our own plates. We're hoping everyone loves the time Shane is in SC and praying everyone stays healthy!

They're Home!

Everyone got home Sunday after 8 PM!

Shane was so excited about his present from Nana, Pop, and Kathleen he ran up to show it to me in the dark!

Carrie and Grandma met Nana and Pop near Charlotte to hand off the boy. They told me about the early bday present, a Kindle Fire, earlier in the week. I broached the topic with Carrie who was not happy at first. We'd wanted to be a no tablet household, but the pandemic (and a good sale) changed that. Kathleen spent a lot of time setting the tablet up and hopefully it will keep Shane entertained on road trips and off my computer!

Loki was really happy to see Shane! You can tell he missed having someone to roughhouse with.

At my suggestion, we all watched the first episode of the Goes Wrong Show. It's slapstick silly and Shane was laughing so hard Loki barked in reply.

The cats were happy to see Carrie! Grandma spent the night to avoid driving in the dark (I had the house clean enough Carrie wasn't stressed about it either!).

Monday morning it was back to the grind. Grandma left earlier to get home, we went to barn chores, and then we went to virtual school.

It was probably an abrupt shift for Shane. He went form people-people-people and everyone super involved at Nana and Pop's to Carrie and me working all day. He's got to be more independent here.

I'm hoping Shane will get another chance to do virtual school in SC in November or December, but for now I was just happy to have everyone home.

A Tale Through Texts - Shane at Nana and Pop's!

Nana kept in contact through texts and having Shane phone home. I decided to use her texts to tell about his trip!

Creative or a cop-out? You decide! 

The texts started shortly after Nana, Pop, and Shane drove off from the Cook Out. 

The next day, virtual school started and it was clear Shane didn't pack everything he needed. (Bonus - Nana asked me to ask John about helping Jama with her library account).

Academics aren't our main concern with Shane at this age. We figure he'll do fine and Nana and Pop did everything they could to fix the situation. Meeting Shane's social needs and building family relationships were the more important needs and he got that through cousins and bouncing on a trampoline!

Or pizza. Nana kept us updated on playdates and food offered. 

I know Shane met with the cousins every day. I suspect he ate out nearly every day and I know he cleaned Nana's house out of macaroni and cheese. 

I was a little jealous he got homemade Chinese dumplings.

And ice cream later on? Were they trying to spoil the boy rotten? Or was it only fair, because they got the dog something?

I enjoyed reading the last bit about how Shane played with Tenley. He is really good with other kids. If he can learn to actively listen he'll have an incredible set of social skills.

Shane and Cole got to take turns spending the night at different houses. Shane said that Cole wasn't very excited about Shane sleeping over at his house, but he did it because he knew Shane would like it!

And yes, I did as Nana asked. She's still my mom!

There was one night he called with a headache. COVID didn't come to mind. Every several months Shane will have an exciting day or series of days and wear himself out. Then he gets a headache, goes to bed early, and wakes up at 100%.

Before Shane headed south, I told him two things: 1) Nana loves to 'help' with loose teeth and 2) doesn't like long hair. "If you come back with long hair and that tooth still loose, I'll be shocked!"

Two weeks of the 'good life' started to show after a while. Shane put on some weight!

It's been a while since Shane's last growth spurt, but I've sworn he looks older to me. It's something in the face I can't describe.

I really enjoy being Shane's father and I loved getting texts like these.

.....and Nana did get the tooth in the end!

Hopefully, Shane learned a lesson about speaking with discretion, too!

Nana wasn't the only one who texted. Kathleen gave me updates, as well.

True story: I played with my sisters when we were younger. They had Barbie dolls, too.

....and the Barbie dolls were frequently involved in accidents and often needed rescuing. Like father, like son, I guess!

I'm sure there were lots of electronics, but I love that Kathleen would throw the kids out into the backyard, too.

Electronics are great, but there's something special about making up your own games that all kids need to have the chance to do.

I wouldn't say I'm a "hard-ass," but I've always been very explicit with what will happen depending on the choices Shane makes. I'd like to think that's helped him develop a good attitude.

I told Nana there was an opening for a SPED teacher at Shane's school that Stu could look into. Is it selfish to think it'd be amazing if all the SC family moved a little closer?

Carrie and I did do research on Asheville NC and some areas around there, but decided to stick to VA. I don't regret it economically or professionally, but sometimes I do wonder what it'd have been like to be closer to the family.

And I have to mention Aunt Dot, as well. She insisted it wasn't babysitting whenever she watched Shane, but she had a hand in keeping an eye on him. Camera phones and texting aren't her thing, but she gave some updates whenever Nana called, too!

Getting to let Shane stay with Nana and Pop is one of the best things virtual school has done for us. Carrie and I are already thinking about when he can visit next! We want to let Nana and Pop have a long enough break they're well-rested and happy to see him, though!