I Cracked Up

Long Way Home

"Daddy, can we take the long way home?"

Turns out the PetSmart opened in the new shopping center behind our house.

Adventure is always out there.

Weeknight Philosophy

I like to have an activity planned three or four nights a week. The rest, unencumbered.

Small joys are there if you stop and enjoy the moment. Opportunities are missed unless you're available.

Right now, Shane and I are booked for two nights a week. He's got soccer Monday and TKD Wednesday. Saturday mornings are the soccer games, but that's one hour out of a full day so it doesn't count.

Our small group used to meet Tuesdays, but dissolved. That was supposed to be our third activity a week. Sadly, that's been the tale of every small group we've ever joined so far. Work, obligations, and/or moves break them up.

Still, it gives one more night a week we're in and around the neighborhood. I try to get Shane outside, or at least keep the TV off. I usually play and provide entertainment, but sometimes I make a point to say,"I'm busy doing _____. Try to entertain yourself. There's books, toys, Legos, drawing...." A certain amount of boredom is healthy. I don't want Shane to be so plugged in or catered to he fails to learn how to discover and create his own wonders.

Side note: I need to try and remember to bring a trash bag of two next time we're at the park. That would give me something productive to do while Shane plays with whoever is there.

Really?

Who would have thought that an unlisted video with two views would be tagged for a copyright claim for music coming from the TV in the background?

They must have some sort of program that compares the audio streams without ever watching it. My views certainly haven't skyrocketed. Do you think companies pay for the service to check for copyrights? Or maybe Google provides it free of charge to deter "Youtube is for Pirates" talk?

I'm almost curious enough to file a dispute to see what happens.

I suspect that Google would say, "Two views. Audio matches. Delete," so I think I'll keep my reaction theoretical.

Chicken Scratch

The chickens unearthed a rusted, busted, metal handcuff. Hopefully, nothing else shows up next!

Post-Meltdown Practice

Two bright things, a frustration, and a lot of funny pictures from soccer practice tonight. The kids started off by running and dribbling around the entire school. Like most practices, Shane showed strong at some points and then required some heavy coaching and coaxing at others.

Bright spot #1: Shane may be a budding defender!

And, boy, does he know how to celebrate!

Best video of the night. I'll have to start humility training another time.

Shane's turn on offense shows a different tale. The first 13 seconds illustrate my point. The rest lingers on.....and on....and on....which shows Shane's ability to not let things go.

Freeze frame at 9 seconds.

It reminds me of the cover for Platoon.

At the first hint of frustration, failure, or a mistake Shane hits the dirt.

Again...

...and again....

...and again.

Thankfully, he got up each time tonight. Most of the times took some form of coach or my intervention, but the important thing was he got back out there. My number two goal for playing soccer in general is for Shane to learn how to cope with frustration and failure. It doesn't matter how many times you fall as long as you get back up again.

The number one goal is to be a team player. That includes listening to coaches and making friends. There was a team playground party after practice.

When we got home, Shane wanted to play Angry Birds on my phone. I told him there were three things we needed to talk about from practice first: One thing to work on, and two things that were great. Then I made him sit with Carrie and I and we watched the videos above. 

Frustration video: "Everyone gets frustrated. Get back up faster."

Defender video: "Great job! Look, you didn't get it the first time, but you didn't flop down. You kept trying, and trying, and look!" Big smile.

Playground picture: "And I liked that you were being kind and playing with all your teammates. It was a good practice."

Then Shane got Angry Birds. I don't want to give Shane my phone after every practice, but it felt appropriate this time. There were a lot of flops, but I wanted to emphasize and reward the positives (which is also why I showed the defense video in front of Carrie - It was the most exerting and skilled soccer effort Shane has done to date).

Frankly, it would be better if soccer was the reward itself. I hope that it will morph into that. Practicing anything takes time and effort. I've found the rewards are well worth it, and I hope Shane will agree one day.

Sunday Funday

Okay, Shane. The weather is beautiful and Mom's asleep on the couch again. Let's go outside and.....

...wait....

....what is that?

We didn't turn the corner at Narnia did we?

Whatever you do, don't sit on the chair.

I know I'm an adult, because I could think of many, many, many reasons to avoid chair contact. I know Shane's a kid, because he was plain curious.

Thank God, he listened to me.

We continued our journey to the playground. Shane wanted to chase fish from in the water, but thankfully he listened to me again.

When we made it to the playground, we discovered some friends.

I recognized the boys from a previous trip. However, there was new information this time. The little boy, Anthony, is one of Shane's classmates!

The boys had a blast together. Carrie got to nap. I greeted the father in my broken Spanish, but he wasn't too chatty (I really wish I was fluent).

We got home in time for the Giants to lose, and to get ready for a neighborhood pot luck. I've really wanted to build some community spirit, and it's happened more or less on it's own. Carrie still felt sick, so Shane and I cooked a pizza and went out to socialize.

The kids all played together really well! They danced, they chased balls, and they ate pizza.

Shane and Henry hunted for crickets together, too!

Raheem showed up just before pot luck off, but disappeared shortly after the start. Maybe it was because I was talking to the other adults? Or maybe he didn't feel invited? I told him he could have pizza, but he said he ate pizza right before coming out.

Frankly, it could also have been the number of people he didn't know. The kids were all on the younger side, too.

We found out one of our neighbors is pregnant with twins! Shane's the oldest young-kid on the street.

When it got dark, James brought out a fire pit. Shane really liked that.

No, he really liked the fire. He kept asking to make it bigger and wanted to throw the sticks on himself. I hope I don't have a junior pyro in the budding.

Happy Sunday, all.

What a Saturday

What do you when your wife has been feeling ill for several days and your son wakes up at 4 AM on a Saturday with a bad earache? 

You go on a family trip to the urgent care, of course!

These things never happen during normal office hours. Shane had an ear infection, and Carrie's throat looked lovely (but was strep negative).

We dropped off our prescriptions and then Shane and I went to his first U8 soccer game! He's lucky number 13.

Shane was happy to be in uniform and with his team.

The giant praying mantis he pulled off a lady's butt was bonus.

Shane is not afraid of bugs. He had the whole team chasing after him and reveled in it.

It was a hot day, but we had shade, water, and teammates.

Shane started off strong. With less kids on each field it was much less chaotic than before.

It spiralled downhill after the first couple of minutes. It was hot and the orange team kids knew what they were doing. 

Shane noticed.

"[The orange team players] are too good. I'll never beat them!" 

Shane wandered off the field, so his coach substituted in another player who was resting. Shane was shocked to realize he couldn't run away and then return at his leisure.

The rest of the day was played under an ever-intensifying protest. Shane went out a couple more times and played and subsequently complained....

...until the last time the teams took the fields and Shane decided to play statue.

He stayed out there and stood still and angry faced for almost fifteen minutes. He was immune to any encouragement and I didn't want to threaten or walk out onto the field to drag him off. 

So I left him there. The coach tried to check in a couple of times, but decided to let it be and called in another kid who wanted to play. "Why's Shane not playing?" One of his teammates asked.

Shane melted down afterward. I was ready to supply a "reflective guilt trip," but Shane seemed so lost in anger and self-loathing I went positive instead. The day was the perfect storm of a longer game, heat, little sleep, an ear ache, hunger, and frustration.  

A team mom walked up and asked if Shane wanted a popsicle. I said sure, if he'd take it.

Shane batted the bag away.

He refused to let me hold his hand, he refused to move, and would have stayed on the field in the heat snarling if I had not picked him up and carried him off. Believe me, my patience was worn and trampled. I planned to stay kind, ride out Shane's rage, pick up prescriptions, and take Shane home for food and rest. 

Shane didn't make it easy. He refused to leave the car when we pulled up at CVS. Then, he tried squirm his wrist/hand out of my grip when I gave him no choice, but to go in. When we got in line, he tried to make a break for it. I lost my place in line, dropped him in a chair, and said "Don't. Move."

Twenty minutes later in a slow and long line, I found out our prescriptions were still not ready three hours later. I could have been mad, but I wasn't. The technician was having a rough day. She was apologetic and stressed. I recognized her from the normal CVS we frequented. It turns out she was subbing in and in "culture shock." I complimented her CVS and asked if we could transfer the prescription. "Yes! And tell them Emily sent you! I'm so sorry!" She wrote the number down for me to call.

The line stretched out behind us.

I sat down next to Shane to make the call. He harrumphed and tried to jump out of the chair while I was on the line (Tried and failed....wrestling is one of the best things I ever did).

Shane was still scowling as we walked down the aisles a minute later. If there was a ever a time I was more tempted to tan his hide I could not tell you what it was. 

However, what did I want Shane to learn from all of this? What was the goal? To know it's okay to lash out when wrath rises? What sort of man did I want to see? To be? Would he know my response, whatever it would be, was out of love?

I squeezed Shane's hand as we walked out and used a firm voice, "In Jesus, I am stronger than my anger. I have every reason to be mad right now, but I refuse."

Somehow, that deflated him. The ride back was quiet, but not harsh. Shane asked for a piggy back when we parked and I carried him in. I accidentally knocked over a Lincoln Log house, and Shane said, "That's okay, Daddy."

Lesson accomplished, I guess. The next game can only go better.

The rest of the day was easier. I made Carrie and Shane pause Zootopia when the other pharmacy called to let me know their meds were ready (Great movie, by the way! Shane's always funny when he dances to the credits!).

Shane snuggled up against Carrie around 7:00 PM and passed out. She let him snore on her for an hour before I picked him up and deposited him in bed.

Drop-Off

Carrie and I decided to let Shane sleep in a little on Friday. I drove him to school. It turned out to be a lot more effort than the bus stop. They wouldn't let the kids into the building until 7:40 AM, so we stood around. I barely had enough time to get home, grab coffee, and scoot to work five minutes late.

Shane will be on the bus next time, so I hope he enjoyed the novelty of it!

Is that Fall in the air?

Earlier at school today:

"It's cold in here!" A student in my 4th period complained. "Can we go outside?"

"Sure. Let's go for a walk once you finish _____."

After all, it was beautiful outside.

I picked Shane up at 5:00 PM.

"Can we go on the playground?"

The weather was beautiful. "Sure. Why not?" We weren't in a hurry.

Later, at home:

"Alright, time for Costco. Outside." I commanded.

"Can we play first?" Shane asked.

"Of course, but only for a little."

"I want to play outside a lot."

The weather was still beautiful. We stayed out a long time.

Carrie came out and played, too. It was that nice. She and Shane set a personal record of 14 frisbee pass and catches. Henry played, too (and thankfully, Shane wasn't a snert to him like lately).

The heat is leaving and the weather I love is slowly taking over. Dinner and Costco were very delayed, but Shane and I made do.