Potty Training in a Nutshell

I talked to Nana on the phone today.

I had a story to tell.



Shane and I went playground hopping again after work today. We hit up a new "green" playground, but something wasn't right: there was no roller.

Shane insisted he wanted the "blue" playground. He knew exactly where it was, too. I had to drive by it on the main road to turn onto the right side street. Shane pointed and yelled and cried "Daddy, that one! Daddy, THAT ONE! NOOOOOO!"

There really was a long drawn out "no" followed by sobs, by the way. It's comical in retrospect.

But, I digress. We eventually got to the playground. Shane opened the gate, climbed up to the slides and stopped. I looked down to check a text, but the grunts made me look back up.

Shane stood, legs akimbo, on top of the playground and pooped his pants.

Yup. He filled that sucker to the brim.

He dropped on his back and said "Daddy, change my butt right here please." That's right. Shane knows the natural consequence of a playground poop: we head home to change his butt.

"Right here," he repeated. He's smart enough to know what will happen next, and he's trying new ways to avoid it.

But he still won't poop in a toilet.

Go figure.

I've asked Shane before, "Do you want to poop in potty or in your diaper?" Guess what? He says, "My diaper." He knows what he's saying, too. Sometimes, I say switch the order of what I'm asking in case Shane's repeating the last thing I say rather than comprehending.

"My diaper!" His answer never varies.

Earlier this week, I had Shane sit on the potty when I noticed poop-sign*. He did the obligatory tinkle and then said "All done!"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes!" he said.

"Do you need to poop?"

"No!"

"Do you want to poop in diaper or in potty?"

"Diaper!"

I got creative. I dropped Shane's diaper in the baby potty. "Here! Poop on diaper!"

Shane chortled, sat down, and hosed the sucker. No poop, but he was holding out on me in the pee department. He peed triple on the diaper what he sprinkled to appease me before.

Oh, and he ran into the other room and pooped his new diaper less than half an hour later.

I've tried to sweeten the deal for Shane. The boy craves computer with a fiery, burning passion that borders on addiction. I rarely let him use it, because A) Shane longs for it with a borderline obsession and B) it's become a superb carrot. Shane took his meds willingly all last week while he was sick when YouTube was the reward.

Now, I'm offering YouTube and chocolate for one single turd in a toilet.

No progress to report so far. Shane will ask for the computer after I change a poop diaper, or after he pees in his potty, so I know it's on his mind. He'll ask for medicine some nights, too!

He wants it.

I've put an embargo on it until that mythical turd lands in a toilet somewhere.

Maybe this will be the carrot that finally lures Shane to empty his bowels into a bowl.