Goalie Training

I signed Shane up for a Goalie training program. Most volunteer coaches don't do goalie training at all and it's Shane's favorite position. I wish I knew something about goalie training, but I don't.

It's a little bit of a risk. Shane wants to do well, but hasn't always been interested in working to do well. Depending on how advanced or serious the kids are at this program......well, it could backfire. I really enjoy the process of improving at something. I want Shane to have fun and not burn him out. However, Shane has been willing to punt the ball around in the yard lately....

I went for it. "It's only 6 sessions and we'll be out of town for the Spring Break one," I said. "Let's do this!"

Getting Shane to the program was a hassle. The program is north of town. We live on the south end. In traffic it would take me an hour on a good day to drive home, pick him up, and get to practice.....which is rough since practice starts an hour after I get off work Friday.

Carrie helped by dropping Shane off at my car as I got out from school. That allowed us to show up to practice 10 minutes early! Shane's gear was in my car, so he could change into his cleats and grab his goalie gloves (Too bad the goober decided to wear blue jeans!).

The fields were saturated from the previous days rain. The kids were on the far end of the field. It looked like Shane started a fun game of punt practice into a net. 

I was at least a soccer field's distance away from the kids, but a volunteer/coach asked me and another parent to go back to the parking lot. "We don't want parents down here," he said. "It won't be so wet next week and it'll be easier to see."

So I left. I watched from a distance away and could barely tell who was who. Carrie needed me to go pick up some bunny meds from the SPCA, so I hopped in the car and drove off to finish two errands on the same trip.

I got back with 10 minutes to spare. It looked like the coach was kicking balls at the net while kids rotated through the lineup trying to block shots. There were two boys with blue shirts on, and I thought I knew which one was Shane. But either way, I liked what I saw from both boys!

I didn't expect to Shane to by crying when he walked over at the end.

I asked him what was up and he refused to talk. When I said, "Hey buddy" and reached out he tried to run past me. 

When I got Shane to talk he kept saying, "I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" and "It was NOT fun!" Shane said he had tried to leave practice and go to me in the parking lot, but the coach wouldn't let him. "So I sat down for half an hour!" He said that kids had "bullied him" and that they'd hit him on the back, etc.

Was this an epic fail? I wondered.

I took the encouraging track. I told Shane I was proud of what I saw at the end. 

"I got hit in the face by a ball! It hurt!" 

"It's a dangerous job being a goalie, but you're a tough kid," I replied. "Your hard work has earned Chic-Fil-A for dinner. Want an ice cream cone?"

Bribes. 

They work.

There were lots of other processing as we drove about how "I was proud of the effort," "It's not about being the best. It's about doing your best to get back up after trying all sorts of things," etc. 

I did make a pointed note that when you're new to/at something, it's generally better to go in quietly with open eyes, open ears, and to be ready to learn (and "READ THE ROOM!"). Coming in super loud, goofy, and trying to dictate the tone without knowing the group's mood may work every now and then, but it' a recipe that can invite disaster (And can you guess which option Shane had gone with?). 

As for the kids bullying Shane.....Shane's soft. Like, really soft. I make a point to pick at him some, because I know he's soft. I want Shane to be tougher, but at the same time I don't want him to harden his heart. Shane has a huge heart and ton of empathy for others, and I love that about him. He's fantastic with younger kids, but seems to have trouble and be sensitive dealing with peers.

I saw the kids goofing off some while I watched the end of practice. They were laughing and handsy with each other, but it was universal. None of it seemed overly aggressive. I told Shane that I hadn't seen anything abnormal. Kids whacking each other on the back and being competitive wasn't abnormal. I acknowledged it wasn't Shane's style and I was sorry he felt ill treated, but I didn't think the kids there hated him (and if they did, I said it was there loss "because you're an awesome friend.").

Still, the thing that made the most difference in Shane's attitudes were probably the bribes. It started with the ice cream, but I hit him with round 2 halfway home when his outlook was brighter. "Would the next Splatoon manga be a good reward for being brave enough to give it another try?"

Yup. Oh boy, was it. 

I'd prefer for practice to be it's own reward and to not to buy Shane a new book after practice each week, but I want Shane to have an open mind next time and books are great!