Ask Questions!

I keep telling Shane to "ask questions."

The recipe for making social connections is simple: Ask a question, listen to the answer, remember, and reply or reference it later.

Asking shows an interest and the rest of it shows you care. Most people enjoy talking about themselves and/or their interests.

Asking the "right" question is harder, but it starts with just asking.

Shane wants to make friends, but he likes to lecture. He tries to lecture me....on things I've told him. It's something of a running joke between Carrie and I. One of us will tell Shane something, he won't seem to be listening, and then anytime from a second to an hour later he'll say, "Wait a minute! Blah, blah, blah." The "Blah, blah, blah," will be whatever we just told him.

So I keep asking Shane to ask questions. "It shows an interest and gets people talking!"

And he keeps not doing it.

That's the backdrop for this next situation.

Shane wanted electronics, but I wanted him to do something else. He had a rougher day at school and was in something of a mood, so I semi-compromised. I dialed Nana and then handed Shane the phone. "Be social. Talk to your Nana."

Shane made a face, but once Nana picked up he started talking and didn't stop for nearly 20 minutes.

When Shane got off the phone, he said, "That helped!"

"Talking to Nana made you feel better?" I asked.

"Yes!"

"I heard her say Jama asks lots of q's. Did I hear that right?"

Shane's not dumb. He knew I was leading somewhere with that question. "Yeah..." he replied.

"So did Nana tell you about her day or did she ask you lots of questions about your day?" I asked.

"She asked me about my day..."

"You've been played, kid! Nana asked you a bunch of questions. You were happy to keep talking!"

There was a dawning light of comprehension. Will it translate to Shane asking more questions? I couldn't tell you. It did validate my advice!