Nightmares continued

Shane called out. It was 10:30 PM.

I raced up the stairs and scooped him up. He cried and took rapid breaths. "Daddy, I have to tell you something!"

I held him and rubbed his back slowly. I tried project calm; To shh and slow him down.

I don't think Shane was fully awake. He repeated himself, "Daddy, I have to tell you something." He seemed to calm, and then his breath would pick up pace again. "Daddy, I have to tell you something."

I'd heard/read that sometimes little kids could still be in the dream and seem awake. The shoe seemed to fit.

Before, I had said things meant to ground Shane. "You're safe. You're in your room. Feel the blanket. Feel the warm." etc. etc.

I shifted to "What do you need to tell me?"

Shane couldn't say. He stared into space, calmed, hyped, and repeated himself again.

After a couple of repeats, I switched to "Tell me your name." I wanted to see if he was coherent.

Shane didn't answer at first. Was it only a minute? I said, "Your name is Shane. Tell me your name."

"Shane."

The nightmare was broken.

Shane didn't remember whatever he dreamt. I tucked him back in, told him I loved him, gave a kiss, and left the room. He was probably asleep before the door shut.

The nightmares happen about three or four times a week. Tonight's was one of the most vivid. The nightmares usually hit between 10 and 11. I stay up just in case. I don't think they happen after that or there're small enough I sleep through them. Carrie woke me up for one at 12:30 Monday or Tuesday night, but that was an anomaly. 

I intervene in about half. I think there's a fine line between helping and preventing growth, but I can't say I know exactly where it is. Carrie and I have mostly played a "Shhh, you need your sleep" calm approach. We make sure Shane has his blanky, a night light, and emphasize his room is safe. "You'll be fine! We love you. Say a prayer, or call for us if you need us."

Thankfully, if there is a nightmare... "The good dream comes after the bad dream, right?" Shane asked.

"Yes. Good dreams come next. You need your sleep so you can run, jump, learn, and play tomorrow."

That pattern has held. Everyone basically gets the sleep they need and life has gone on. I pray that Shane learns how to confront his nightmares or grows out of them eventually. Until then, we're here to help and comfort when we can.