If I could ask God one question, I know what it is. How in the world did my son poo through his cloths onto his elbow! It was all down his left leg, his clothes, and the bouncer too (which I just disassembled and washed a couple days ago).
I also want to take this time to thank God, that the trash pickup is late today. I didn't want that diaper-bomb marinating in the house for any longer than necessary. One of the local squirrels also ate a hole in one of the trash bags I put out this morning, so I was able to shove the stinkbomb straight in.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Peek-A-Boo
I think Shane just learned how to play Peek-A-Boo! While lying on the floor, he would pull his favorite blanket up over his head. I'd ask "Where is Shane?" and whoosh! Shane would yank down the blanket and smile at me. I thought it a coincidence at first, but at least 10 tries later....
My son knows peek-a-boo!
I'm sure he's just listening to the tone in my voice rather than the words, but it must've been exhausting work. He's passed out on the floor. I'm so glad we installed carpet down here.
My son knows peek-a-boo!
I'm sure he's just listening to the tone in my voice rather than the words, but it must've been exhausting work. He's passed out on the floor. I'm so glad we installed carpet down here.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Crawdads in the house
At 2 AM last night a revelation struck me: I had left an active aquarium in my classroom.
Wednesday, I'd broken down my class for the year and walked out of my school for the summer. Shane had come with me due to a lack of child care options with Mom visiting Jama in Texas. My son garnered lots of oohs and ahs for his pretty eyes and damned cute demeanor. Away from admiring eyes, he was full of fussitude and stretched half an hours worth of work into two. This caused me to forget about my aquarium full of mutant fish and crawdads. I didn't want my classroom to smell in September from a bunch of dead marine animals marinating over the summer, so I drove up to my school to clean out the watery graveyard.
They weren't dead.
I've never had this problem before. My school aquarium has no filter. I put no food in it. It's supposed to be a self-sustaining micro-ecosystem for kids to look at and measure. Invariably, the heathens end up killing everything. Sometimes it's from tapping on the glass. Sometimes it's from eutrophication. Sometimes I think the fish are just sick of the students. No matter how hard I try, they always die. Last year, my co-teacher's kids were horrified at the mortality rate of my fish, so they tried to rescue some of them. All the fish died within a week of being put in their home aquarium (that had a filter and everything!). This year, the water turned green, the plants died, and I have mutant crayfish and guppies that refuse to succumb. Go figure. Of course, that was before I left them in a pitch black classroom with no windows to the outside world for a couple of days. At 2:05 AM I laid back down to a guilty sleep knowing I'd have to clean up fish corpses in the morning.
Imagine my surprise to find everything alive. There wasn't a single guppy belly up. The water had evaporated over the past month so that the crayfish could raise their claws and the tip would break the surface, but both Lefty and Psycho were left running around. They refuse to die.
The names? Lefty is the big one with only a right claw. Psycho is smaller and equipped with both arms. He's also a murderer. He used to be in a separate tank with another crayfish, Victim. I came in to school one morning to find that Psycho had chopped off all of Victim's arms, legs, and one of his antennae. The poor bastard was just laying on the floor of the aquarium and would bat his tail around if poked at. That's no way to live (plus, I bet Psycho would've earned the name Cannibal if I left Victim in there), so I did a mercy kill.
I now have mutant crayfish living in my house. I'm not worried about them mutating further and escaping. The cats have been stalking the tank since they arrived.
Wednesday, I'd broken down my class for the year and walked out of my school for the summer. Shane had come with me due to a lack of child care options with Mom visiting Jama in Texas. My son garnered lots of oohs and ahs for his pretty eyes and damned cute demeanor. Away from admiring eyes, he was full of fussitude and stretched half an hours worth of work into two. This caused me to forget about my aquarium full of mutant fish and crawdads. I didn't want my classroom to smell in September from a bunch of dead marine animals marinating over the summer, so I drove up to my school to clean out the watery graveyard.
They weren't dead.
I've never had this problem before. My school aquarium has no filter. I put no food in it. It's supposed to be a self-sustaining micro-ecosystem for kids to look at and measure. Invariably, the heathens end up killing everything. Sometimes it's from tapping on the glass. Sometimes it's from eutrophication. Sometimes I think the fish are just sick of the students. No matter how hard I try, they always die. Last year, my co-teacher's kids were horrified at the mortality rate of my fish, so they tried to rescue some of them. All the fish died within a week of being put in their home aquarium (that had a filter and everything!). This year, the water turned green, the plants died, and I have mutant crayfish and guppies that refuse to succumb. Go figure. Of course, that was before I left them in a pitch black classroom with no windows to the outside world for a couple of days. At 2:05 AM I laid back down to a guilty sleep knowing I'd have to clean up fish corpses in the morning.
Imagine my surprise to find everything alive. There wasn't a single guppy belly up. The water had evaporated over the past month so that the crayfish could raise their claws and the tip would break the surface, but both Lefty and Psycho were left running around. They refuse to die.
The names? Lefty is the big one with only a right claw. Psycho is smaller and equipped with both arms. He's also a murderer. He used to be in a separate tank with another crayfish, Victim. I came in to school one morning to find that Psycho had chopped off all of Victim's arms, legs, and one of his antennae. The poor bastard was just laying on the floor of the aquarium and would bat his tail around if poked at. That's no way to live (plus, I bet Psycho would've earned the name Cannibal if I left Victim in there), so I did a mercy kill.
I now have mutant crayfish living in my house. I'm not worried about them mutating further and escaping. The cats have been stalking the tank since they arrived.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Of Tooth and Tutors
Shane has not one, but TWO teeth. They're front and center on his bottom gum line. Neither one is a "white monolith" yet, but they at least count as sharp protrusions. I can run my finger over them and there's absolutely no doubt. Last Thursday, the doctor noticed the first one while Shane was getting his vaccinations. The second one appeared shortly thereafter. I'm just glad the little incisors are here. I relinquish my title as the "father who called TOOTH!"
Carrie objects to one of the findings at the doctor's office. The nurse weighed Shane in at 20.5 pounds, measured him at 27 inches long, and then found his head circumference to be something like 45 cm. Shane is hovering around the 80th percentile for weight and head circumference, but he dropped from the 80s to somewhere around the 60th percentile for length. Carrie swears that Shane is longer than 27 inches from her own measurements. She thinks he is perfectly proportioned and on track to out-grow his car seat!
I think Shane's getting a little bit of baby pudge. Sorry, son. I'm calling you out! You're by no means a totally tubby baby, but I've noticed that when I try to pull you out of your bumpo seat that your thighs stick and the seat comes up with you. You've also managed to hide scrap of kleenex in a fold of skin between your chin and neck. Then your wrists are starting to look like there are little rubber bands around them that puff out the skin on both sides. Grandma keeps mentioning that she loves and oh so wants to pinch your chubby cheeks too!
Carrie objects to one of the findings at the doctor's office. The nurse weighed Shane in at 20.5 pounds, measured him at 27 inches long, and then found his head circumference to be something like 45 cm. Shane is hovering around the 80th percentile for weight and head circumference, but he dropped from the 80s to somewhere around the 60th percentile for length. Carrie swears that Shane is longer than 27 inches from her own measurements. She thinks he is perfectly proportioned and on track to out-grow his car seat!
I think Shane's getting a little bit of baby pudge. Sorry, son. I'm calling you out! You're by no means a totally tubby baby, but I've noticed that when I try to pull you out of your bumpo seat that your thighs stick and the seat comes up with you. You've also managed to hide scrap of kleenex in a fold of skin between your chin and neck. Then your wrists are starting to look like there are little rubber bands around them that puff out the skin on both sides. Grandma keeps mentioning that she loves and oh so wants to pinch your chubby cheeks too!
Monday, June 20, 2011
End of the school year
Ding, dong, the beast is almost dead.
I have lots I could complain about. Lots. I actually started to complain, but I just deleted it all. Suffice to say, this has been more of a year about surviving and damage control than it has of feeling fulfilled and like I'm making a great difference in the lives of my students.
I was angry and thinking about the unfairness of it all earlier today when I happened to talk to someone I normally don't. He's an older gentleman and a computer tech. The conversation started with him making a joke about how a school year is like a pregnancy: after 9 months you're ready to kill something if you're not delivered from it! Whatever he said, it was damn funny. I told my sprinting analogy of how I view teaching and somehow we managed to start talking about a man at the tech's church. The man's wife died and he'd been laid off from Verizon where he'd worked for many many years. He ended up becoming a substitute teacher and then an instructional assistant in the county, because he couldn't find any other work. The sad thing: Instructional Assistants aren't paid jack. I was one of them. I know (it was $18k a year when I did it). The man was thrilled about it though! The IA job provided benefits for the man AND his daughter. Benefits which had been costing him $1200 a month while working part-time.
At that point, I figured my problems (while stressful and annoying to me) really could be a lot worse and I should be thankful for what I do have. A loving wife, a healthy child, food in the pantry, a good place to live, and no insurmountable debt. There are still some lingering, self-centered 'woe is me' thoughts rattling around my head, but the whole encounter planted a different perspective I'm praying is nurtured. I'm not going to get all preachy, but we're given choices in life and choosing to be positive is almost universally better than choosing than to be negative.
On an entirely different note: my first official father's day was yesterday. I'm looking forward to many more.
I have lots I could complain about. Lots. I actually started to complain, but I just deleted it all. Suffice to say, this has been more of a year about surviving and damage control than it has of feeling fulfilled and like I'm making a great difference in the lives of my students.
I was angry and thinking about the unfairness of it all earlier today when I happened to talk to someone I normally don't. He's an older gentleman and a computer tech. The conversation started with him making a joke about how a school year is like a pregnancy: after 9 months you're ready to kill something if you're not delivered from it! Whatever he said, it was damn funny. I told my sprinting analogy of how I view teaching and somehow we managed to start talking about a man at the tech's church. The man's wife died and he'd been laid off from Verizon where he'd worked for many many years. He ended up becoming a substitute teacher and then an instructional assistant in the county, because he couldn't find any other work. The sad thing: Instructional Assistants aren't paid jack. I was one of them. I know (it was $18k a year when I did it). The man was thrilled about it though! The IA job provided benefits for the man AND his daughter. Benefits which had been costing him $1200 a month while working part-time.
At that point, I figured my problems (while stressful and annoying to me) really could be a lot worse and I should be thankful for what I do have. A loving wife, a healthy child, food in the pantry, a good place to live, and no insurmountable debt. There are still some lingering, self-centered 'woe is me' thoughts rattling around my head, but the whole encounter planted a different perspective I'm praying is nurtured. I'm not going to get all preachy, but we're given choices in life and choosing to be positive is almost universally better than choosing than to be negative.
On an entirely different note: my first official father's day was yesterday. I'm looking forward to many more.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Is that a.....
Shane woke me up at six this morning with a surprise.
Is that a tooth? FINALLY? I've been predicting one of those things would erupt any day now for the last two months. I attempted to take several pictures before it occurred to me I was probably blinding my son.
Shane and I also did a formula run this morning. As I was hauling him around in his carrier I couldn't help but think: "Do they mix a little brick dust in with his formula?"
I think I'm going to start using Shane in his carrier for curls instead of my dumbbells.
Is that a tooth? FINALLY? I've been predicting one of those things would erupt any day now for the last two months. I attempted to take several pictures before it occurred to me I was probably blinding my son.
Shane and I also did a formula run this morning. As I was hauling him around in his carrier I couldn't help but think: "Do they mix a little brick dust in with his formula?"
I think I'm going to start using Shane in his carrier for curls instead of my dumbbells.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Yet another Shane update
About a week or so ago, we started trying to feed Shane solid food. I must say, he looks rather amused by all of our efforts.
Feeding Shane by spoon is messy to say the least. Half the time, he won't open his mouth. The other half the time, he tries to grab the spoon and shove far back into "gag me with a forklift" land. This is followed by him trying to stick his fingers in the mouth to see if they help flavor the food (or just add a little crunch), or by Shane opening his mouth in a huge smile that pours food all over him. Yes, he enjoys laughing at his minions struggles. We minions are in turn enthralled by his laughter. I love my son.
Other Shanetricities
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Surprised!
My wife surprised me!
Carrie has been trying to accomplish this for a while. Our first Christmas, she was going to surprise me by learning how to cook sushi. I ruined this, by sneaking up on her in the grocery store (trying to scare her, because I'm a turd) while she was looking at a "make your own sushi kit." Then there was the time she took off work to surprise me at my apartment and my ADHD senses heard keys jingling and I opened the door and surprised her with a 'hello.' Then there was the surprise birthday gifts. The only problem was she ordered them online. I have the credit card set up to alert me whenever an online charge is made to prevent identity theft and quickly tracked down the errant (and no longer surprising) charge. The list goes on and on. Surprising me has become something of a challenge that my wife takes on from time to time.
Today was one of those days.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Political Pursuit
Random story I meant to mention.
It's a Saturday about two or three weeks ago. Shane and I are visiting Dad while Mom is visiting Jama and Zanne in Texas. My parents own a huge house (10 people lived there comfortably once) and it can feel borderline oppressive if it's completely empty for too long. Plus, Dad is good with Shane and I don't mind the break right before going to church! Anyway, Dad is playing with Shaney when the doorbell rings. Naturally, being the one unencumbered by a baby, I get up and go answer the door.
At the door, are two gentlemen. I say gentlemen, because one was in a suit jacket and neither one looked like the typical door-to-door salesmen or lawnscaper that my parent's neighborhood seems to breed.
That's surprise #1. It's not much of one, but my first thought is that the Mormons are walking around again.
Then, one of them speaks.
"Are you [my name here]?"
Surprise #2. I haven't lived at my parents' house in years. Why would anyone be asking for me? I blurt out a "yes," but I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what's next.
It's a Saturday about two or three weeks ago. Shane and I are visiting Dad while Mom is visiting Jama and Zanne in Texas. My parents own a huge house (10 people lived there comfortably once) and it can feel borderline oppressive if it's completely empty for too long. Plus, Dad is good with Shane and I don't mind the break right before going to church! Anyway, Dad is playing with Shaney when the doorbell rings. Naturally, being the one unencumbered by a baby, I get up and go answer the door.
At the door, are two gentlemen. I say gentlemen, because one was in a suit jacket and neither one looked like the typical door-to-door salesmen or lawnscaper that my parent's neighborhood seems to breed.
That's surprise #1. It's not much of one, but my first thought is that the Mormons are walking around again.
Then, one of them speaks.
"Are you [my name here]?"
Surprise #2. I haven't lived at my parents' house in years. Why would anyone be asking for me? I blurt out a "yes," but I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what's next.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Productive
It's funny how productive I can be when there's something in particular I don't want to do. I don't try to avoid work or escape into movies/video games....I try to do other odd jobs so that I feel less guilty about not doing what I know I need to do. So far, I've spent the morning playing with/babysitting Shane, vacuuming, laundering clothes, and trying to pick up in general.
What am I trying to hide from? Long, long, long overdue thank you notes. I found them never sent a little while back, but putting pen to paper makes me feel like a boot heel. I need to do them; I'm going to do them, but I'm procrastinating. The world knows it; I know it. I can't hide behind semi-colons that I don't even know if I'm using correctly. I'll start working on it for real after Shane takes a nap and I move the laundry. I already confessed to one of the people and I'll feel (rightly) worse if I don't follow through.
School is finally winding down. I turned in my VGLA binders Tuesday to be shipped off Wednesday, received an email confirming VGLA scoring duties, arranged subs and made plans, received another email telling me to cancel the job on a sub I'd just talked to, and then a girl spent my class hurling in the bathroom. Honestly, it was a fairly typical week with the exception that I tried to teach my math class Yahtzee on Friday! We've been working on probability and doing problems involving dice ever since the SOLs finished AKA 'Yahtzee training.' Half of my kids were out due to the band field trip, otherwise it wouldn't have worked with all of the questions and blank stares I got about the rules.
Shane is 'grabbing with intent and accuracy' nowadays. He's been reaching out for a while now, but he's definitely better about getting what he's reaching out for. The little man has also become a pro about rolling from his back to his belly. He just gets stuck there. My son seems to have forgotten how to roll from his front to his back like he used to do around the two month mark. Use it or lose it, I suppose. Shane had me cracking up this morning when he rolled over onto his belly and then the momentum kept him going right back to his back. His eyes bugged and his jaw dropped in astonishment. My son rocks and rolls.
What am I trying to hide from? Long, long, long overdue thank you notes. I found them never sent a little while back, but putting pen to paper makes me feel like a boot heel. I need to do them; I'm going to do them, but I'm procrastinating. The world knows it; I know it. I can't hide behind semi-colons that I don't even know if I'm using correctly. I'll start working on it for real after Shane takes a nap and I move the laundry. I already confessed to one of the people and I'll feel (rightly) worse if I don't follow through.
School is finally winding down. I turned in my VGLA binders Tuesday to be shipped off Wednesday, received an email confirming VGLA scoring duties, arranged subs and made plans, received another email telling me to cancel the job on a sub I'd just talked to, and then a girl spent my class hurling in the bathroom. Honestly, it was a fairly typical week with the exception that I tried to teach my math class Yahtzee on Friday! We've been working on probability and doing problems involving dice ever since the SOLs finished AKA 'Yahtzee training.' Half of my kids were out due to the band field trip, otherwise it wouldn't have worked with all of the questions and blank stares I got about the rules.
Shane is 'grabbing with intent and accuracy' nowadays. He's been reaching out for a while now, but he's definitely better about getting what he's reaching out for. The little man has also become a pro about rolling from his back to his belly. He just gets stuck there. My son seems to have forgotten how to roll from his front to his back like he used to do around the two month mark. Use it or lose it, I suppose. Shane had me cracking up this morning when he rolled over onto his belly and then the momentum kept him going right back to his back. His eyes bugged and his jaw dropped in astonishment. My son rocks and rolls.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
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