The Fall 2017

Friday was date night. Carrie picked. I drove her to the ER.

I got a text from Carrie before wrestling started (3:39 PM). Something had spooked Captain. She fell off. "Please don't kill me." She was well enough to drive herself and shower while I left practice to meet her at home. Then we drove to the hospital.

It took over an hour for us to get a bed, though.

I had to leave Carrie and pick up Shane. Carrie had signed him up for a Parent's Night Out event, so I dropped him off there without telling him what was up. I actually bumped into several of my students as I ran back to my car ("Sorry! Can't talk! My wife's in the ER!").

Three hours later, I left Carrie to pick Shane up. It was good timing. She was (finally) going in for her CT scan.

I filled Shane in on what happened and took him to Chic-Fil-A on the way back. We ate in the car and got back to Mommy around 9 PM.

The CT scan came back negative. Carrie had contused the crap out of her right backside, but nothing was broken (unlike this time).

She was able to get up with crutches. Shane and I got the car while a nurse wheeled Carrie out front. We got home at 10:38 PM.

It was certainly a date night to remember!

Different Worlds

"How was your weekend?" I asked.

"My mom got locked. She [beat up] this guy _________."

That got the class excited. "Who?" "How long?" "Why?" "Is he the light skinned _____ who always drives they _____?" "Yeah! The one who's always drinking?" Some girls chipped in, "That guy is weird. He was following us around..."

Turns out the 'lock' was 'just' for the weekend. "My mom is always ready to bang with anyone."

The result was the student went motherless for at least a night. I don't know if there was a dad, boyfriend, or other family in the picture, but hopefully there was at least on responsible adults around so all the kids weren't left alone.

This is not the first or last time I expect to hear this sort of story. Many of my kids live in a world where the adults fight, the kids fight, and people are more likely to jump in or record than to try and stop it. Kids have wanted to show me videos of fights....some they've been in (I've declined). 

And then I think about how many times I saw my own dad fight growing up....zero.

And how many times did I see my dad arrested growing up? Zero.

One of my students asked a retired police officer at my school, "Why did you want to become a cop and lock people up?" I think it was an honest question. The student's mom had been arrested when she was a toddler. I imagine that leaves a mark.

And then I think about Shane. If he doesn't want to go to school, tough. He's going. His elementary school sent a note home last year about his "multiple absences affecting learning" when he got the flu. Shane missed maybe 5 days all of last school year.

Meanwhile, I have students who miss twice a week on average. Some weeks I don't see them at all.

Shane lives in the same country, city, and even neighborhood as some of my students, but it's like they're in different worlds.

Privilege is Carrie and I had Shane in our late 20s. We wanted him. We prepared for him. We were both employed, married, homeowners, and had families that helped.

I have had students who are 18 or younger, pregnant, behind in school, without (healthy) family support, and are unemployed.

I think about things like this often. It started with my friends from a young age (Matt J being special needs probably kickstarted it), and has only continued as I meet more and more people throughout my life.

And I'm always learning something new. I've known of past students who have died before I ever moved to Cville.....drug overdose.......well to do family where the father had a breakdown and shot them all before committing suicide......electrocution....there's a lot of challenges in this world.

God built me the way he did for a reason. Trying to understand my student's backgrounds helps me to better understand them and their needs (That's how I figure it, at least). I read somewhere that empathy is something taught by parents. I hope that Shane learns to be aware of the lives of others around him and how they affect him. 

Wrestling Season Begins

It has begun again!

Not that it ever starts easy. I was sick. Shane was sick. I didn't know where the buses were dropping off. The buses were late.....it never starts smoothly no matter how hard I try.

Shane:
Shane woke up at 6:20 AM saying, "I'm sick." I woke up, felt his forehead and told him, "Too bad. You're going school. Go back to bed." He had a cold. I had a cold. No fever, no missing school.

Carrie was more sympathetic. She thought his tonsils looked too swollen and kept him home to visit the doctor. The doctor said, "Cold," but Shane's temperature also rose into the 100s. That did allow me to stay at practice and not worry about picking him up, though.

Me:
My bug grew over the weekend. I opted out of my allergy shot thanks to congestion. It didn't really hit my voice until today. "You sound sick," was one of the first things a student said to me. Great for coaching right? My temperature was 99.6 when I started to write this (not bad, but higher for me). I hope I didn't pass my cold on to anyone in the room.

Buses:
I wanted to meet the wrestlers at the door today. Most are new and don't know their way around the HS. I asked the front desk and the attendance desk people where the activity buses dropped off. Both told me they were "90% sure" it was the front entrance.

Guess what?

It wasn't.

I did pick up two random wrestlers. A mom dropped one off and the other rode the wrong bus, but the bus driver had to report to the HS anyway. A couple veterans found their way to the room while I was out front and then the rest of them showed up when I heard the other bus was late and went out front.

I showed up after practice had started and everyone was there. Somehow, the bus the boys had been on (which wasn't the color bus I was told it would be) had dropped them off in two different places and neither where I was standing.

But they got there. We're par for the course. I expected the bus to be a pain in my ass and it didn't disappoint.

Practice:
Went well! I had about 10 kids show up! Some of them even handled themselves like athletes! Coach D was pumped and yelling, so he went to it and I played support.

It was great to see several old faces. One kid showed up who was never officially on my team, but had practiced with us. Another who was on the team at the beginning of last year, but spoke no English and quit. Finally, there was one senior who would have been our captain last year, but he took the season off to focus on soccer. He must have missed wrestling, because he was back! None of the other kids were on his skill level, so I rolled around with him some (but only after he was good and tired). He actually caught Coach D by surprise during a demo.

It was a good day. About half of my middle schoolers stayed after the 5:00 PM quit time, too.

1st Grade Parent Teacher Conference

I looked at Carrie before we went in. "Hyper, can't sit still, but friendly and does well?"

Carrie nodded. "Sounds like Shane."

Guess what the teacher said?

Shane is hyper, but well meaning. He rolls around on the carpet, so she's learned to let him sit on a medicine ball or be moving behind the group so that he won't distract other kids. She thought he was goofing off at first, but whenever she asked him a question he was spot on. She looks at letting Shane move around some as a learning accommodation.

Speaking of accommodations, there was one that I thought was pretty neat. Maybe it's common knowledge among 1st grade teachers, but I've never heard of a 'personal telephone.'  

Shane talks and sings to himself incessantly. This doesn't stop him from learning or working, but it can distract others. He has a headset he can wear with a hollow piece of plastic. It lets him talk quietly but amplifies the noise he hears. That allows him to talk to himself, but now he's doing it much more quietly. Brilliant.

The rest of the behavior conference was things I've heard before.

Things to work on:
Shane has trouble taking commands the first time. It's not that he's defiant, but he doesn't like to stop what he's doing and he seems to think at least a couple asks are required for it to be a serious request. When he's working in a group, he gets frustrated quickly when people don't agree with him. He can be dramatic.

Things to encourage:
He's precocious. Both Shane's preschool teacher and now his 1st grade teachers have called him "an old soul." Shane likes to talk, discuss, and has insights. Apparently, he's pretty funny. Shane likes school and his classmates. He's good at pretend play ("with all the screens nowadays..."). Shane's very curious and interested in learning. There was a lesson where the teacher wanted to use magnets. Shane was mesmerized and wanted to know why the magnets worked one way and not the other. She abandoned the lesson, but it became a great learning moment.

Academically, he's doing great. Math is Shane's strongest subject. He enjoys reading, spelling, and his writing has come a long way in one quarter.

Left: Beginning of the year. Right: After he was sick recently (Carrie was impressed by the picture. Shane wanted to know what strep bacteria looked like, so she googled it. He recreated the image she showed him).

Shane didn't hear any of this. He was at TKD day-camp. I went to vote and work afterward. Carrie hopped on her own projects at home.

However, Carrie was in a good mood when he got home. She made some gak from a kit! She made Shane close his eyes and then dumped it in his hands.

Getting Ready for the Flurry

Carrie and I worked today, but Shane had no school. Obviously, he went to TKD day camp. I found out Carrie signed him up for two days, so he'll go back tomorrow, too.

Which gives Carrie and I time to take care of the house. Sunday was chock full of cleaning and laundry. I want to get as much done as possible before wrestling starts and I won't want to do it. I have to report in for at least part of Tuesday (Saturday's yard sale hours count for some), and then it will be a run to the dump, dishes, voting, and I don't know what else.

Temperature Check

Shane was sitting in the cart at Costco finishing his pizza. I pushed the cart into the cold room and let go. "Hey! Grab the milk for me," I said.

It took him a second to realize I didn't go in with him.

"HEEEEYYY!!!"

"It's cold in there. Have fun and get the milk!"

I don't think he knew what to do. Shane sat there, yelled, and shivered while I laughed.

I got him out eventually. I needed milk for my coffee.

Before the Rains

I showed up at 8 AM Saturday to help with my school's community yard sale.

The end goal is to earn enough money to take the kids to DC or New York.

I don't know if we'll make it or not, but it's fun trying. We managed to pick the one day the temperature dropped 30 degrees F, it was overcast, and forecast to rain. The high temperature of the day was around 8 AM when I showed up!

I went home to get Shane ready for his 11 AM game afterward. Pre-game practice was to chase the coaches.

While Shane chased Coach Brian I yelled, "Keep going, Shane! He'll get tired eventually!"

Coach Brian jogged by and said, "I'm running a marathon tomorrow!"

"Keep trying, Shane! Even if he doesn't wear out!"

Some game highlights:

The benefit of being on a small team is that Shane gets more play time. 5 kids showed up for us. 5 kids played. The downside is Shane gets tired and/or distracted. He tends to amble along, twirl, and check out.

However, he had two great moments. One was where he threw a "rocket throw" from midfield over everyone, plopped it in front of Anthony, and Anthony kicked it in (Anthony is the real star of the team). The other one was after a corner kick (I believe) and Shane was able to attempt a goal shot, it was blocked, and he tried again. It was still blocked, but it was great to see him in the mix.

It started to rain right at the very end. The game ended and the 'second' game began. "Dog pile on Jeanluc!" Brian yelled.

That's one way to stay warm.

Everyone rounded up the kids after.

It was cold. It was wet. I wore the wrong jacket. Thankfully, I had my minion hat to at least keep my head warm.

I am so glad we got the game in before it rained the rest of the day. Shane needed an activity!

We stayed in the rest of the day save a library trip (gotta love libraries).

There was an offer to go out, but I felt a little under the weather. I don't know if I managed to get small bug or if's from my allergies. Carrie was busy dealing with stuff from her job, so we lounged around. 

Playing in the Circle

Dog pile and wrestling, what fun!

Raheem: "Aren't you going to help me!?"

Me and Will: "Nope."

As I always say, "Kids need other kids." I don't mind playing with kids, but I think it's important that they have the freedom to mess around and play without non-stop adult interference.

Sunday: I wanted to take Shane grocery shopping, but Rah showed up on the porch. I let them play outside for a couple of hours. They wanted to explore the "bridge" behind our neighbor's house.

I read up on election material and let them cross and wander around. Frankly, it looked like there was a crack in the bridge. I'm not sure it would have held me.

Daylight savings time caught me off guard and it was dark at 6:00 PM (what used to be 7:00 PM). I like for Shane to play around with Rah some whenever Rah's outside because A) it gets Shane outside and uses up energy and B) I'm not sure how much other social/active stimulation Rah will get if we don't go outside.

Busy and It's About to Get Busier

I held an interest meeting for wrestling today. There was a good turnout. At least 10 kids! I had wondered if the team was going to dissipate after half of them moved up to high school, but I guess not.

From here on out, life is going to be busy for me. I was coaching 3 days a week (Halloween is the only time I took off). Next week, wrestling starts and it's going to be 5 or 6 days a week coaching and I'm going to be getting home later and more tired. We'll visit family for Thanksgiving, I need to visit my new nephew (Aiden), kids are behind at school, Shane's going to be doing two sports in addition to TKD, and Carrie's going on a week-long business trip. Shane's birthday and then Christmas comes not too far away, as well.

A New Leaf

Shane turned around his behavior skid streak at TKD today. I gave him a pep talk before he went in. I don't know if it was that or the Halloween afterglow. 

The red stripe (for attitude) was earned. The blue strip for his form? That was a little bit of a gimmie, but we'll take it.