Thursday, November 9, 2017

Different Worlds

"How was your weekend?" I asked.

"My mom got locked. She [beat up] this guy _________."

That got the class excited. "Who?" "How long?" "Why?" "Is he the light skinned _____ who always drives they _____?" "Yeah! The one who's always drinking?" Some girls chipped in, "That guy is weird. He was following us around..."

Turns out the 'lock' was 'just' for the weekend. "My mom is always ready to bang with anyone."

The result was the student went motherless for at least a night. I don't know if there was a dad, boyfriend, or other family in the picture, but hopefully there was at least on responsible adults around so all the kids weren't left alone.

This is not the first or last time I expect to hear this sort of story. Many of my kids live in a world where the adults fight, the kids fight, and people are more likely to jump in or record than to try and stop it. Kids have wanted to show me videos of fights....some they've been in (I've declined). 

And then I think about how many times I saw my own dad fight growing up....zero.

And how many times did I see my dad arrested growing up? Zero.

One of my students asked a retired police officer at my school, "Why did you want to become a cop and lock people up?" I think it was an honest question. The student's mom had been arrested when she was a toddler. I imagine that leaves a mark.

And then I think about Shane. If he doesn't want to go to school, tough. He's going. His elementary school sent a note home last year about his "multiple absences affecting learning" when he got the flu. Shane missed maybe 5 days all of last school year.

Meanwhile, I have students who miss twice a week on average. Some weeks I don't see them at all.

Shane lives in the same country, city, and even neighborhood as some of my students, but it's like they're in different worlds.

Privilege is Carrie and I had Shane in our late 20s. We wanted him. We prepared for him. We were both employed, married, homeowners, and had families that helped.

I have had students who are 18 or younger, pregnant, behind in school, without (healthy) family support, and are unemployed.

I think about things like this often. It started with my friends from a young age (Matt J being special needs probably kickstarted it), and has only continued as I meet more and more people throughout my life.

And I'm always learning something new. I've known of past students who have died before I ever moved to Cville.....drug overdose.......well to do family where the father had a breakdown and shot them all before committing suicide......electrocution....there's a lot of challenges in this world.

God built me the way he did for a reason. Trying to understand my student's backgrounds helps me to better understand them and their needs (That's how I figure it, at least). I read somewhere that empathy is something taught by parents. I hope that Shane learns to be aware of the lives of others around him and how they affect him. 

No comments:

Post a Comment