Thankfully, they make for some hilarious stories. From severely handicapped children pulling fire alarms, ("Well, it does say 'PULL!' At least he was reading!"), to a kid asking me if "there are special classes for special kids" when he's quite special himself, it feels like I always have something I can laugh about if I can just survive long enough that it becomes funny. Some years, so much stuff happens that it all blurs together and I lose more unique moments than some careers have in a lifetime.
Then there's the parents. Ah, yes. Those silly parents. A math teacher I used to work with still walks around quoting me whenever she runs into a 'special parent ("Appletrees!").
Three misnomers about being a teacher:
1. You don't get paid for summers. I'm on a 10 month contract. I have to go out and find work over the summer if I want a paycheck. No, my job is not some sort of dream job where I get paid for two free months. It's a job like any other - you only get paid for what you do.
2. You don't get respect. You get blamed for everything (especially by the parents). I'm not even going to mention all the things I've been accused of, but they range from racism, to purposely ignoring a parent's emails (because I didn't reply within an hour) and withholding textbooks. I love when I tell a parent what a kid did in my class and then they turn around and ask their kid "Did you do that?" like I'm making the whole thing up for my own nefarious purposes.
3. Yes, there are bad teachers out there, but there's a lot more good teachers that never get any credit. I'm sorry you didn't like a teacher you had as a kid. I hated plenty myself. However, a good teacher isn't always a kid's favorite and a teacher who's "cool" sometimes doesn't teach jack because they let the kids run the classroom. It's like parenting: the kids don't always want what's best for them and they're not happy to hear otherwise.
That sounds close to complaining, and I guess it is! On the bright side, teaching is a gold mine for comedy. If you can't laugh off some of the crap you're put through, then you don't belong in the field. Teachers certainly aren't in it for the money. I want to write funny anecdotes, but since I'm a special educator, I'm supposed to keep things confidential and try my damnedest.
That means I can write stories from waaaay back when! One time, I had a blind girl threaten to bring a gun to school and shoot the principal(the principal replied "Good luck finding me!" - True story!) Another time, I had a kid wear the same shorts to school for a week with a giant wet spot over his crotch (though I guess it was more crusty than wet by the end of the week). His mom thought he was a genius and that he belonged in more challenging classes. At another school, I had another student who was terrified of flies, because she thought they were poisonous. I had one student call me Stalin because I wouldn't let him wear a hood over his head with the drawstrings pulled tight, and another student who I had to have a serious talk with about picking his nose in public and why he couldn't get a date.
It's sad, but so many of those stories happen they blur together and fade from my memory like I mentioned earlier.
I don't know where I was originally going with this post, but it's past bedtime.There will be plenty to do in the morn.
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