Growing a Problem Solver

I want Shane to be a problem solver.

The problem is: How? 

My solution is threefold: 

1) Let Shane encounter problems.

2) Let him deal with it. Keep support minimal.

3) Let natural consequences happen as long as they're safe and celebrate successes when they happen.

Step 1 is easy. From there it's tougher. It's hard to walk the line between "too much help" and "help too little" and then there's the whole bit about consequences...

Monday night, I asked Shane to give Maddy her food. "It's heavy!" he complained.

I told him to deal with it and soon he was twirling in circles down the aisle. He was fascinated by how the centrifugal force kept the food in the bucket.

I didn't tell him to stop. I did tell him there'd be a consequence if he dropped it.

So Shane smiled and kept at it. 

Meanwhile, a hungry pony watched. Maddy is overweight, but thinks she's being starved on a diet. Shane dilly dallied and she couldn't bear it. 

When Shane "finally" tried to lift the bucket over the gate to latch it, Maddy shoved her head into it. He wasn't ready. The contents spilled all over him!

Shane was shocked.

I laughed.

He really didn't appreciate the laugher.

Shane wanted to go inside and wash off, but I told him to suck it up because there were still chores to be done. "You could always eat it. The horses like it."

In all fairness, it's not easy for Shane to lift the bucket up and over the gate. I'll probably hold off on asking him to do it again for a while, but he could've walked around the gate or set it on the ground to begin with. I hope he'll be aware horses can get impatient just like people!

I don't regret making him keep working while being dirty. Stuff happens in life. You still have to deal with it. Wet hay wasn't going to hurt him, either.

Another example came the next day. I asked Shane to hang some hay bags. He's had trouble reaching in the past, so I suggested he grab something to stand on.

Shane struggled with the task for a long while. I thought he was having trouble with the latches at first and was willing to help.

But then I saw the real reason and I was mad. Shane knew exactly what he needed to do, but had chosen not to do it. I stuffed every single hay bag full of hay while he hadn't accomplished hanging one.

Shane couldn't do it, because he didn't want to take off his gloves.

It was cold yesterday. It wasn't warm out, but it was well above freezing. Plus, gloves can go off and on.

I was unhappy and I let him know it. "You could have done it all this time. You knew what you needed to do. You chose not to do it. Gloves off."

Amazingly, he did much better after that. He could've put the gloves back on, but either he forgot or he didn't think it was that cold after all.

Shane insisted on using a stool I felt was much too small. I suggested he should get the plastic chair that's lighter and twice the size, but he didn't want to.

So I let him try to use the stool. 

He kept floundering and I eventually said, "Why not climb?"

He found that more entertaining and helpful.

Not that I'd suggest he do it whenever horses or Mom was in the barn!

Shane had a good moment shortly afterward. Pockets pushed past Abby and rushed into her stall. "Pull the food out!" I said. Shane did and we switched the food buckets without incident.

I'm still amazed Abby let Pockets get away with it. She normally threatens to kick and bite and chases the other horses out of the way until she goes into her stall! I guess she was so stunned he went for it that he got away with it for once.

I told Shane he needed to scoop some poop before he could go in for the day. I wanted one bucket. 

Shane hummed, played with the dog and the rake and I let him do it. When it came close to class time, I said "You could've been done. If you're late to PE, you're late to PE."

The bucket got filled up much quicker after that. I told him it was full enough at 10:30 AM, so he made it to PE a minute or two late.

It's all a dance. I want to be fun enough, but serious enough. Demand enough, but celebrate enough.

So far, I think Shane's turning out to be a great kid. I know I don't get it right all the time, but hopefully he'll figure out it's because I love him and he'll forgive me for my missteps when he's an adult!

Savvy Shopper

This is a quick shout-out to Carrie's research skills. 

We get a lot of packages. They're from Amazon, Dover, eBay, you name it. I'd worry that my wife is a shopaholic if she wasn't such a meticulous researcher. 

For example: Carrie decided it'd be a good idea to have an equine first aid kit in case of emergencies. She started researching different companies that had a prebuilt one as a baseline. She found one company that offered a kit box for $150 and found the exact set with a different logo on it for $80 at Lowe's.

She compared pictures to count screws, contours in the plastic, etc. 

And then she looked up coupons for Lowe's. 

As far as I know, Carrie hasn't bought it, because she's still researching. It's probably cataloged in her brain waiting for the next time Lowe's has a sale. Then again, Grandpa gets a 10% discount at Lowe's for being a veteran. Maybe it'll be what she requests for Christmas? 

So yes, there's packages that arrive. Sometimes more than I'd like. I do know that Carrie got the best price on all of them and she's used her equine gear knowledge to flip some items for profit (sometimes after tearing one of my undershirts into a rag, so she can polish and freshen them up!).

Thank God for the Break!

It's been awesome having time off. From school at least, if not the barn!

Shane's hair is beyond shaggy. I'd love to cut it, but he wants to grow a 'man-bun.' There's a cartoon character who's a volleyball player with one and Carrie joked about me getting one, but it stuck with him!

Not that I can throw stones. My own pandemic hair is probably the longest it's ever been. Carrie attacked my hair one morning and then told me not to move for a picture.

I've trimmed the beard since then. I got tired of my mustache curling into my mouth!

No school takes some of the urgency out of barn chores. There's no planning or class lurking if we take too long. Carrie's been feeling better, so we've been going out as a family. That's let us tackle some of the odd jobs that can be overlooked for a while, but elevate the operation when done.

Like poopbusting.

I don't remember the last time we dragged the dry lots. Shane got a kick out of riding around with Mom.

Maddy has been her usual itchy self. Carrie tried switching to a different allergy medicine to see if it helped to no avail. 

Maddy will walk over and ask for scratches when we're around. She's got her favorites and we've learned a number of them.

She's very expressive!

The barn is a source of community and we hope a blessing to everyone who's part of it. Laura had a bit of heartache when she was walking Ernie. He spooked and stepped on her ankle. I found out when Carrie bolted inside to get ice. Laura found out she had a fracture on Sunday.

Barbara showed up while Amy and Carrie tended to Laura.

There was a riding party in the works. Carrie was on Eowyn.

Barbara was on Maddie.

And Gay was on a mule for the first time in her life!

"The ears are a hoot!"

Pockets hadn't been worked in a while and was reluctant to earn his keep, but Gay got him moving!

It was Carrie's chance to introduce Gay to Eowyn, too. The point of buying Eowyn was to ride, so I'm glad that Carrie's been active! 

Barbara tried out Maddy's new saddle and declared it a success. Maddy's been feeling good lately. A couple rides back, Barbara asked for a canter on the trail and Maddy offered to gallop....and gallop she did! We hadn't realized she was a speed demon and Eowyn couldn't keep up!

I took a few pictures to chronicle the fun before going inside to be with Shane.

The windows were up to get fresh air and I heard my name on the wind later. Abby was beside herself. All of her girl buddies were saddled up and she was all alone! The anxiety made her make a fool of herself.

Carrie asked me to stall here and close the curtain door.

I brought in Eddy to give her a buddy. He happily went to eating the remains of Pockets' hay while she marginally chilled out.

I went back to playing Legos with Shane. I was thrilled he showed an interest, so we made a concourse for his airport, a bridge, some mansions, and a bank, etc.

I went outside again when I heard horses squabbling through the window. 

The ladies stabled Pockets on the boy's side since Eddy was in his stall. They hadn't closed the curtain door and Magic and Pockets were acquainting themselves with each other!

Horses were a big part of the break, but we finally had board game time! Carrie and I finished Pandemic Legacy Season 0! It was worth the preorder. We played 5 Minute Marvel as a family several times, and Shane and I played a round of Horrified.

Shane spent a couple of hours looking at some of my Battletech stuff and asking questions, so we ended up playing a mission. One of my sourcebooks was for the animated series (that's canon as an animated series in the universe!). Shane was curious, so we looked it up on Youtube and watched some episodes. It's no masterpiece, but it was a shared moment.

The days blurred together, but Sunday rolled around. We saw highs of 70s early in the week and ticks became active again. The prediction for Sunday morning was mid to upper 30s, but it dropped into the 20s instead.

Laura was shambling around, so we did the majority of the barn chores. Carrie gave her 'das boot' to help and walked Ernie for her. Shane helped by playing announcer with Amy.

The sun warmed the air and it turned into a pleasant day with a high just over 60° F. Scott, Mark, and Hazel came over to grill and hang out!

We opened up a bunch of windows and the adults played 5-Minute Dungeon and The Crew while the kids curled up with tablets on the couch. 

And I didn't take any pictures. Can you believe that?

The one picture I have is from when we played The Crew. Carrie had a crazy hand and wanted to show us after the round.

I realized I didn't have any good kid pics as we were saying goodbye, but it was too late!

Landie came over an hour later. Shane 'babysat' her. They played hide-and-seek, Legos, and Shane read part of a Dogman book to her. There was a My Little Pony break in the middle, but Landie isn't the type to stay zoned out forever.

Carrie got jumped on by both kids multiple times! 

Shane got in a little trouble after his shoulder nailed her in the chest! "You're not that small anymore!"

It would've been nice if we could've had another playdate somewhere in the break, but double visits on Sunday was a strong finale. 

Have I mentioned I've enjoyed the break? Cause I did. I was productive, too. I wrote 22 blog posts over the span of 5 days! I didn't do any grading, but my students didn't do much over the break either. I'm as ready as I'll ever by for Virtual School on Monday and I hope they're in the same boat. There are three weeks to go until winter break. We've got to cover polygons, quadrilaterals, and basic circles before taking a couple of weeks off to forget it all!

Top 10 Games to Introduce Games!

I watch enough Top 10 lists I figured I'd give it a go. Thought exercises are nice, but the experience is way more educational when you actually try to do something! 

I hit bumps along the road immediately. What in the world was I going to record with!? I decided to use Zoom since I'm forced to use it for Virtual School all day. I didn't know what to use as a video editor, so I used the pause button between games and collected my thoughts each time. I wanted to do the whole thing in one take which sounds easy, but is hard to pull off well (and I'm not saying I did!).

Some immediate lessons:

1 -  My mic may be dying. The headset is years old and I've been using it for countless hours since the pandemic hit.

2 - Some basic editing would cut out me looking down to click the pause button at the end of each game.

3 - With basic editing, this 18 minute video could have taken much, much longer. It took me close to an hour to make. I paused for a few minutes in between games to shuffle boxes/components and think my way through what to say. Then I watched all 18 minutes to see if I shamed myself and dishonored my family. Editing would give me the ability to watch a take, see what I liked, and try to improve upon it which would mean more watching, more redoing, and then more re-watching until it was right! It puts a perspective on how long content creators may be spending to make their videos....but hopefully they're used to the process and go faster than me!

4 - It's very different from teaching or having a conversation. I talk online all day, but this has a different feel. Good conversation and presenting has pauses built into it. That allows people to process and ask questions. Entertainment content is fast and furious. Wait time is truncated out and the video has to be concise and conveyed with energy to not feel muted....and it feels weird throwing energy at a computer screen in an empty room with no one watching!

It was a fun experiment and rewarded me with some new insight into what goes into making the videos I watch. Watching the playback was humbling! I have no idea if I'll do one of these again. Writing is more my schtick. 

I uploaded the video to YouTube and left it public for once, but, for your ease, here it is.

Thanksgiving 2020

Cole started it.

Shane was happy to send a goofy picture back!

I texted many people a "Happy Thanksgiving" and that picture!

Our day was a quiet one. Shane wanted to build a city out of Legos to get hit by natural disasters. Whether he was trying to play survival or destroy it is anyone's guess!

He had a radio tower to start, so I started building some townhouses, quads, apartment buildings, and a gas station as seen from an airplane. That led to Shane building an airport and some airplanes to fly overhead.

Carrie joined us after a shower.

Shane's radio tower became an air traffic control tower and Carrie built a radio tower that Shane later souped up to be a power plant.

With all the  natural disasters Shane was ready to inflict (including a blanket sized tsunami) it seemed prudent to give the town a hospital.

We managed to play without electronics for the entire first half of the day!

Carrie went non-traditional for our Thanksgiving meal. She mean a soup involving bacon, potatoes, and pumpkin. 

For our evening entertainment: American Ninja Warrior! We watched some The Floor is Lava the other night, so we were on an obstacle course kick. 

Shane was willing to bounce on the couches, but he had no interest in building our own course and getting some exercise!

It was a much quieter Thanksgiving than years prior. Grandma and Grandpa opted to go to NOVA rather than host, because Rachel and Chris had some concerns about Shane coming back from SC without much time in between. Sophia was just in the hospital from a ruptured appendix, so germs and health were in the forefront of their minds.

On one hand, we would have liked to have seen them. On the other, it was really nice to have a day with no expectations. I've been enjoying the break from work and time with family immensely. 

Thanksgiving 2020 was the holiday we needed. We can have a busier Thanksgiving with more people next year. 

Adventure Day with Mom

Wednesday was the first day of break. Shane and Carrie went on an adventure. Carrie wanted to find a saddle that fit Maddie better. She knew there was a cheap used one that might fit the bill.....in a consignment shop two hours away!

Yep, she went for it! She drove the truck down to the barn to collect a pair of old saddles that didn't fit she could use as comparisons and possibly sell. Carrie's skilled at that and normally manages to do a good deal of swapping and selling to pay for her horse gear habits.

Shane tagged along for the ride. I wouldn't have volunteered, but he's a good traveler. He likes to talk, listen to music, and look at the window....and Carrie bribed him with using his tablet. She also planned to get lunch out and Shane suggested Arby's!

Carrie's first stop was only 20 minutes away at Heidi's house. Carrie checked in and offered to drop off some of Heidi's old gear at a consignment shop on her way north. 

Shane got a surprise, too. Heidi gave him a large stuffed bear.

He loved it. He showed it off when he got home.

I'm trying to convince him to call it a bär instead of bear since it's German!

But back to the trip, Carrie hit up three tack shops on the journey. It took longer than planned and Shane took a nap on the way home.

I guess restrooms were limited, because he had to go in a cup at one point. I don't know who was more shocked: Shane or Carrie! She sent me home a picture, so I know it happened.

If she was trying to gross me out, it didn't work (Been there; Done that!). I commented that she needed to get Shane some water, because he was looking too golden to be hydrated.

Side note: Pay attention to when Shane's browsing cards for sale. He came home giggling about a birthday card for an older woman. "It said, 'I thought I was having a hot flash, but my boob was in my coffee!'"

Meanwhile, I stayed home. And blogged. A lot. I wrote 9 posts and set up the pictures and drafts of 9 more future posts. My goal is to catch up over break and the road trip really helped me gain ground!