The Party Stresses

I never realized how stressful a kid's party could be until I had a kid. 

Normally, we give Shane a choice between presents and a party. This year, he chose party. He wanted to have it at Jump.

Carrie made fabulous custom invitations for Shane. She wished she'd done it sooner, but Shane didn't have them to take to school until the Monday before Thanksgiving. Shane was supposed to put them in cubbies and/or quietly invite friends, but he said someone "yelled it out," and then kids swarmed him (He swore it wasn't him). 

But by Sunday we hadn't heard from any parents. No one RSVP'd. Then Dylan, Eli, and Ava couldn't come, because Eli's mom had scheduled his party the same day. 

I reached out and invited the soccer team, but only heard back from two people who said, "Sorry! We can't make it." Carrie printed up some more invitations since Shane hadn't been able to give them out to everyone he'd wanted to. Tuesday, Shane said school went great, but he started crying when he didn't earn any Roblox time. When I checked in with him on why he was upset, he confessed he'd lied about school. He said that some kids who got his invitations said they weren't going to come to his "stupid party" and one kid stomped on an invitation.

We were elated when one kid RSVP'd later on in the week, Dane. Shane had been on the same soccer team as Dane a couple years back. Then we got word Hazel could come and Sarah's two kids, so at least some kids could come. 

Of course, Carrie and I were worrying and second guessing more than we should have (and her much more than me). Was the party two far away from where we live? Should we have offered more Jump time? What if we'd sent out invitations a week or even two weeks earlier? Was is COVID fears? Should we have invited siblings? I could go on and on...

I felt better about things at the party. Kids bounced. Kids laughed. It looked like they had fun. It wasn't amazing, but it wasn't a failure. A lot of things have been strange in this COVID season of life.

Carrie was anxious and depressed throughout (her words). Anytime there was a hiccup she felt like a failure. We hadn't realized no outside food was allowed in Jump due to the COVID regulations. It was cold. Carrie spent most of the party guarding a picnic table in the wind. She'd asked about the party rooms both both had been booked by much larger parties and they enjoyed the warm indoors while she worried that Landie was a no show and Sarah's kids were 45 minutes late. Carrie took my coat to stay as warm as she could. I swapped out occasionally for small breaks with her, but she felt better with me keeping an eye on the kids indoors.

I wrote more about the fun stuff with the party elsewhere. This post was more about the behind the scenes struggles, fears, and hurt. If Shane ever looks up his party he can reminisce fondly with the smiling pictures. He won't have to read about our struggles and how human his parents are until he's older and maybe even a parent himself. 

As I mentioned in the "Happy Birthday Shane!" post, Shane actually asked to not go to school on Monday. That's big for him. He normally complains when Carrie has him miss for whatever reason (Young Mike would've been like, "Yes! Please let me miss school!" every time a trailer trip or a cough or anything came up! Not that Nana would ever have let me. She used to send me to school sick!)

So when Shane came home thrilled on Tuesday that he'd missed his class getting in trouble Carrie and I felt validated about letting him miss school for his birthday. She's not sure she can handle him having another party, but she felt good about that decision and making it through this one.

Hopefully, good things will come from the party. Using it as a conversation topic got Peter's phone number. Maybe Shane will be on a soccer team with Dane in the Spring. Hazel enjoyed hopping around! I don't know the plan, but even if it's rocky at times I trust God has a plan and it's better than whatever I could come up with myself.