Love Languages for Kids

I brought up the Five Love Languages before. They're from a book that Carrie and I read for our premarital counseling.

The five love languages are:

Physical touch
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Gifts
Acts of Service

People have different giving and receiving love languages. Love shown in a person's primary love language tends to have the most meaning for them. Showing love in any of the languages can have an effect, though.

It's important to know your spouse's love tendencies and your own. For example, a wife is in the TV room; the husband is cleaning the kitchen. The wife really wants the husband to show he loves her by taking a break from the dishes to watch a show with her first. The husband wants to clean the dishes to show he loves his wife, but would feel very loved by a word of thanks or encouragement. Both love each other, but they're out of sync.

There is a sequel to the Five Love Languages called the Five Love Languages of Children.

It's a good read so far. Children express love differently than adults and since they're constantly growing and changing their primary language can change or be hard to discern. Children need love in all of the languages no matter what their primary language is.

Children who feel loved will respond more appropriately to discipline and to learning. If a child is secure in being loved unconditionally, they can grow up healthier emotionally. Discipline done incorrectly in a child's primary love language will hurt far more even if it does not seem as harsh to the parent.

I can't help but apply this to teaching.

Teaching is part art, part science. When done right, it involves many people skills.

I believe students should feel like they are valued in a classroom as individuals and as part of the class. I believe God also wants his followers to show love to everyone. Students are kids; they'r ejust not biologically mine.

Words of Affirmation - How can I give positive, meaningful feedback?

Quality time - How can I make eye contact and make a student feel like even in a classroom full of other students that I will take the time to work with them? How can I take a moment before or after class to ask a student to show an interest in their life?

Gifts - How can I offer a gift that's not a bribe? They're not the same thing. Plus, how can I do that without going broke and/or kids feeling like I'm playing favorites?

Acts of Service - How can I make the students feel like I am invested in them? That I will go the extra mile to help them if they need it?

There is an application for all of the languages.

Even Physical Touch.

That one's scary.

At ESY when I work with the more severely disabled students, I have to be hands on. If a student runs for a door, or if I had to steer them away from playing in traffic physical touch is par for the course.

It's different with more 'normal' students. I have had plenty of touchy-feely students in the past. They put a hand on my shoulder, or they break into personal space. I don't always reciprocate, because I read the news. My house was raided by the police once when they arrested Lucas based on a (what turned out in court) baseless accusation. It does not take much to end a career. It does not even need to be true.

You can show love with hugs and physical contact within a family, but it's largely hands off culture here.

Yet, if there are kids who really need some physical contact I can understand it. I'm just not very comfortable in giving it. I sometimes try to pat a shoulder, shake a hand, or to do something else fairly impossible to misconstrue. There are some teachers I've met (mostly very maternal and older women) who can sweep kids into hugs or rub hair, but as a non-elderly male I don't feel like I can pull it off. Maybe I feel a little differently after coaching wrestling; that's hands-on by default!

Anyway, this is all based off a train of thought I chugged down during church today. The love languages books are by a Christian author based on his faith and Biblical love. Love makes a difference.