Shane and I go to the pool every day I don't have school. I don't want him to sit on electronics all day and he loves to swim! He likes to jump off the diving board to begin any session.
And he's really happy when there's lots of other people to talk to in line and to watch him go!
What you don't see in the pictures is Shane yelling out moves and asking people to rate his splashes!
One quick gif to be fancy.
Shane is not shy about going up and introducing himself. As of writing this (6/20), we've been to the pool 12 times and 11 out of 12 went really well. We've met new friends, old school mates, and even one of our neighbors! The pool has been a huge blessing this summer!
Eventually one of the boys donked him on the head with their ball. There was no wind up. It didn't look like the boy tried to put a ton of force into it, but Shane was pissed. How pissed? It was hard to tell, because sometimes Shane seems to act far more dramatic than it feels like he really is.
So Shane swam after the boy and wouldn't stop. The boy was laughing and eventually Shane caught up and tried a straight armed haymaker that showed he had no idea how to fight. The boy stiff armed him away and dunked him rather than fight back. I was on edge watching and ready to intervene if a true fight started, but the boy fended Shane off like he was an annoying younger brother and then went back to his game with his friend.
Only Shane never got the hint. He stared. He muttered and he didn't go anywhere else. The boys said something to him and Shane yelled that they were "suckers!"
The boys laughed and decided to call Shane a lollipop.
And he stayed, glared, and refused to take a hint.
And I watched it all.
I strongly debated calling Shane out of the pool, but I opted to wait until break. It was only a few (excruciating) minutes away.
When the whistle blew, we talked. Frankly, I was highly disappointed in his behavior, but it also looked like he was miserable and embarrassed enough already that what he needed was support and a coach.
I asked Shane why he pressed so hard to join them when there were other kids and Shane said, "They called me a rando!" (Aka - Some random person)
"Did you know them?" I asked.
"No."
"Then you were a rando to them."
We talked a bit to process and to Shane's surprise I bought him an ice cream cone on the way out. "You can't let one bad moment ruin a full day of good stuff."
I think Shane was expecting a consequence from me for throwing a punch, but I told him he'd already lived through the consequences of his own actions and I didn't need to pile anything more on top.
I would have preferred the exchange never happened, but Shane needs to be in tough (but safe) situations to learn what to do and what not to do. I'm praying he learned the right lessons rather than the wrong ones.
And we haven't seen the same two boys again. I was a little apprehensive the next day we went, but I wasn't going to let Shane know that! Every pool visit since has been extremely positive. Shane feels right at home!
We typically stay at least one hour and sometimes as long as three. I don't bother to put sunscreen on Shane and he's developed a nice tan.
Meanwhile, I stay in the shade. I sit at a table and play on the Switch or with a small card game.
I did swim around with Shane when we went early one Saturday. I was afraid there wouldn't be any kids around and he'd need a playmate. Once some kids showed up I faded back to let Shane be a kid! (And took a dramatic selfie to send to Carrie as prove I had been in the water!).
We've gone to the pool enough now that we're starting to recognize some of the family groups. I've even traded phone numbers with one.
I never liked Break as a kid, but I appreciate it as a parent. The kids get out, they check in, and then they do other things. I've often used Break as the natural end point of a trip.
The kids at the our pool often try some sort of sports. The first handful of trips there was volleyball.
That died off after one kid claimed there were velvet ants.....but that led to other kids doing bug and ant hunts!
Shane is definitely one of those other kids. He loves the bugs.
Shane doesn't hesitate to join any sport even if he doesn't know exactly what he's doing. He's insisted on joining baseball and then tried to run with the bat to first base or thrown it into the pool on the backswing! I've offered to teach him the rules or techniques, but he's turned me down every time.
It's all about the social. When Shane feels eyes on him he ramps it up to 11 whether it's chasing butterflies, trying to cannonball on older kids, or come up with a game to play. He's good about initiating things. He brings an energy that other kids usually seem to get behind!
Now if only he was as good at remembering his stuff when it was time to go. Shane's flip flops disappeared a couple visits ago when he came home barefoot (You'd have thought he'd noticed walking out...).
The one downside of the pool as far as Shane's concerned is we make him shower off the chlorine when he gets home. For a boy who will take an hour shower if you let him, he complains mightily about initially jumping in! He wants to avoid using shampoo and "just rinse."
I let him get away with "just rinsing" some times, but the pool is a great excuse to make him bathe every couple of days. He tried to use the shower at the pool to avoid shampoo, but if Carrie says he stinks he's got no choice!
I'm bound to talk more about the pool this summer. I've already got a few great stories I intend to write up at some point. For now, just know that it's shaping up to be an important part of our social life in the community.
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