Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Brush-Up with Bullies

Shane got hurt on the bus. The principal called Carrie while I was in the shower. She went to check on him at school after I went to work. Carrie stayed with him for half an hour and she told me Shane told her he was getting bullied on the bus.

Shane first mentioned there was some trouble on the bus Friday morning as we were walking out the door. We ask him how school went all the time, so it seemed to come out of the blue. Shane said kids called him "dumb-head" and "Twinkle toes" which was code for "I hate your shoes." 

We talked about how to handle it and who to talk to if it was beyond his ability to deal with before the bus pulled up.

When I picked Shane up from school Friday, I asked, "How was the bus today?"

"Fine!" he said.

Shane had only complained once, so I made a mental note that I'd say something the next time I heard of any difficulties. Shane only rides the bus one way and it's supposed to be a 10 minute trip tops. I want to equip and help him work through difficulties rather than run from them or only let adults handle it.

I didn't count on Shane getting kicked in the head the next time he stepped on the bus. Carrie told me that Shane said a student had run at him and kicked him and that other students had hit him, too. 

When she asked him, "Why don't you sit near the bus driver or tell him what's going on?" Shane replied that their was a kid who "slapped him" near the bus driver. Then he said he tried to sit in the back, but the 3rd and 4th graders were mean to him. He moved to the middle and then he got it "from both sides."

The news put me on edge all day. And if I was on edge, you know that Carrie was even more concerned. She spoke with the principal before she left and he said he'd pull the bus tapes and get back to us.

I called him after he left a message on Carrie's phone. The bus tapes were unavailable. A fuse had been blown or something of that sort that gave no video of the incident. The principal said that the bus attendant reported the student who hit Shane had been jumping over seat to seat and hand landed on Shane.

So in the principal's account, Shane getting 'jumped' was changed to Shane was 'jumped on.'

Those have very different meanings in my world.

I felt a little better knowing the whole bus hadn't attacked him, but that still didn't sound like a bus situation I wanted my son in. It turns out, that Shane is the only student picked up before the bus goes to a stop that fills the whole bus. He knows no one on the bus, and the bus driver parks the bus and sits while kids slowly filter out of their homes and hop on which extends the ride and allows for drama.
Why they switched Shane to a different route, I couldn't tell you. Shane rode on another route (Bronze) for a couple of years without any issue. Rah was on the bus, too, but he's moved on to 5th grade and a new school.

Carrie and I let the principal know our concerns. The principal diplomatically put that Shane's bus "was the highest energy bus" at the school. We mentioned Shane feeling bullied and that it had been going on. The principal said he'd pull the tapes from last week to see if they saw anything. 

Shane is a 7.5 year old and calls foul whenever he feels wronged (which is very quick and loud to be honest), so he's not the most objective source. But if he feels unsafe on the bus it should be looked into.

Not that Shane seemed the least bit fazed when I picked him up from afterschool. He was annoyed and wanted to keep playing. I asked him how things went and he said some of the same things I'd heard from Carrie, but his tone was factual and unworried. When we got home, Carrie and I told him we were planning on driving him in the next several days.

I was beginning to think we were more stressed out by the whole situation than Shane was (outside of the moment he was kicked). 

So, now we're driving Shane to school. We need to call the transportation and see if they can't just put him back on his old bus since it literally drives right past us in the morning. 

And that's all on back to school night! Carrie was too worn out to attend. I gave Shane the choice to go with me or stay with her. He chose to stay where there was a chance of TV.

Which was a shame, because Iggy and Sam's families both plopped down near me!


It was a quick presentation. I shook the principal's hand in the hallway. I didn't feel like everything was totally resolved, but life has to move on.


There were only three families in the first session with Shane's teacher. I wasn't going to ask her about what happened, but with only three people there and no one really talking at the end I did. I didn't really go into detail, but I wanted to know if he finished the day okay. She said he was fine! I got to hear a story about how Shane was reading a book and oblivious during the school's lockdown drill.

Carrie's still a little concerned with Shane's teacher this year. Her room is much emptier than the other classrooms and she's coming off being a specialist for years. She seems strict and Shane's a spaz.

Time will tell. Shane had a great first grade and kindergarten teacher, so even a decent teacher could feel like a step down.

I noticed Shane was the only kid to color a background on his self-portrait.


He draws himself as tanned! Ha!


Carrie asked me to skip trivia to help out the rest of the night. Shane played outside with Rah and his friend for a little, but they disappeared when Shane went in to bring out his chicken nuggets.


It was a quiet, inside night from there.

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