Visitation Day

Monday started off quiet. Carrie and I checked out of our hotel and met up at Nana and Pop's. Matt played a round of Smash Bros with Shane before electronics time was up.

Carrie and I played a round of Fox in the Forest.

There was quiet, family time as people prepared to move out to the hotel in Charlotte.

I was on Aiden duty for a little bit before I took him to where Pop was doing laundry. Aiden enjoyed the vibrations from the dryer as he tried to look for hazardous chemicals in the cabinets.

We headed out a little earlier than the others. Carrie wanted to stop at a tack shop on the way (if you can believe that!).

It was a more Western centered store in Gastonia.

Carrie had wanted to find a rain slicker for Nibs, but instead she found a lot of apparel and Shane found a lasso to hula-hoop with.

(Unsuccessfully!)

We met up with everyone at the hotel around 3 PM. Pop picked the same hotel we used to always stay at when we visited NC and the cousins as kids. Some of the memories blur, but I know we've been to that hotel at least since I was a freshman in high school (I remember having an upper respiratory flu that year and losing 6 lbs to go down a weight class in wrestling! I also remember we took Matze there and that was the year Pokemon Red and Blue came out).

Pop chose the hotel for sentimental reasons. It's changed ownership since and parts of the property really show their age. The first room Carrie and I checked into smelled of smoke and cleaning chemicals, so we had to switch to another. Nana wanted free chicken salad for dinner, but we started a trend by going to Subway! Matt and Renee went there after they heard about it from us (and saw the 'free' chicken salad), and then Jim and Shawn walked in as they were leaving!

We met up with everyone at the funeral home near downtown Charlotte.

There was a video showing pictures of Little Matthew when we walked in. Shane, Carrie, and I sat in the back. I told Shane stories as he looked at the pictures instead of bringing him up front to the open casket. Cousin Kerry came and sat with us in the back for a little bit before Shane and Carrie went to the family room while I paid my respects. Shane's a mix of utterly oblivious and completely aware, so I'm not sure what he'll remember about the night. I'm pretty sure he leaned against me and looked at the TV without noticing I had tears on my cheeks behind him as I talked. I hope that he'll remember that family loves deeply and comes together when someone is in pain.

Nana made the call to break out Pokemon Go later. I'm not sure how I felt about it. On one hand, it kept the clueless kids quiet so that all the adults could come together. On the other hand, if the kids started to walk around looking for Pokemon it would have beyond disrespectful. Carrie did a great job of keeping them contained on the couch, so it was tasteful enough.

I didn't take too many pictures of everyone talking, because of it being a visitation. I didn't want people to think they had to be on guard for cameras or distract from the night.

I did snap off a few at one point, because the memory is important and Little Matthew should not be forgotten.

I don't know the next time this much of the clan will gather either. We had family in from Nebraska, Texas, Virginia, and both Carolinas.

It was a bittersweet mix of everyone being happy to see each other and sadness/pain for the passing of one our number and the effect on his immediate family.

But that's what family is for. They're with you from the beginning of your life until the end.

Kathleen, Stu, and crew went to school that morning and then got trapped in traffic on the way up, so they were the last to arrive.

Cole joined Shane and B on the couch immediately.

Evelyn rocked some Batman pajamas. My side of the clan cares little for some of the things others would get hung up on like little kid dress codes! If the love is there, then that's what matters (and if driving three little kids through hours of traffic after a full work day to grieve with family doesn't communicate love, I don't think a dress would make a difference).

We all took turns playing, "Pass the baby" and "Keep an eye on the kiddos."

I hadn't seen Stephanie and her bunch from Texas in years. I didn't get much time to talk to them, but one of her daughters talked to me in a British accent about tea. I switched to a Scottish accent and raised an eyebrow.

My generation plus Beth all gathered in Megan's room for a reminisce afterward. There was a cousin from the other side of Little Matt's family, as well. Kevin donated beer money in front of Nana.

I hear they talked a long time. Nana watched Ka's kids so she could attend and Pop had Shane and B. Megan put Sammy to bed and he slept through it all. I stayed an hour and left around 11 PM.

Which then led into a whole different adventure involving a five hour stay at the hospital, and a long night for a chunk of us.

I'll leave it at that for now. People were tired and tensions were a little higher than normal the next day, but the focus remained true. Respects were paid and we said our final farewells.

I keep telling Shane that "Family is a big deal," and "Love is sacrifice." My prayer is that the Lord writes those (as well as many Bible verses) on Shane's heart.