Time Out!

I predicted it long ago (and may times before), but the past couple of weeks feel like the kick-off to temper tantrum season.

Shane knows what he wants, and when he doesn't get it he really makes it clear. He's very quick to yell and hit whatever wall or piece of furniture is near him. If he's in the middle of a room, he'll pick up and throw a toy (or two). When he's really enraged he'll throw himself on the floor (the 'classic' toddler tantrum).

Thus, the discipline wars are in full force.

As Shane's grown older and his ability to communicate has grown, he wants more and more dominion over the world around him. When he doesn't get it by acting cute, he's starting to resort to force and anger.

For example, one day Shane and I watched Dan go outside. As Dan walked, I asked Shane which car Dan was going to get in, "the white car or the black car?"

Shane answered, "White car!"

Dan hopped in the black car; Shane screamed and pounded on the window. He looked at me, screamed "WHITE CAR! WHITE CAR!"

He threw himself on the floor when I looked at him, oblivious to the ignominy of it all, shrugged, and said "Look. Black car go bye-bye."

Yep. Discipline is not my favorite part of parenting, but I've taught enough kids without it to know how important it is.

I've also taught enough kids who's parents didn't do discipline right to know how hard it is to do it correctly. Personally, I believe it's crucial to stay calm and try to be as loving and gentle as I can when firm. Shane will learn how to really get under my skin when he gets older I bet! Only time will tell if Carrie and I's methods will be the right ones for Shane (Please, God, guide us with that!).

For now, I give Shane a 'time out' whenever he goes into a baby-rage and throws or hits. I pick Shane up, hug him and leave the room. We sit in a corner, I say something like "No hit. Be calm. Use your words," and slowly count to 12. Shane normally starts counting with me after a little bit. If Shane was smaller, I could stick him in his playpen. Instead, he just uses his tall toddler athleticism to turn it into a fun climbing reward/diversion.

 I do my best to ignore what I can to teach Shane that a hissy-fit won't magically make a door unlock itself. I swear there are times I think he likes the time outs. He'll hurl a toy and then say "Time out! Time out!" It's certainly a way to get my attention and I know all about 'unintentional rewards' from FBAs and teaching, so I have to watch out for that. Carrie doesn't want to use his room as a time out until Shane's much older, because she wants his room to be a safe/fun place to go (and I understand that).

So the parenting continues! I've got a toddler book that's become may bathroom reading. I love my son, but it's certainly a full time job!