New Vocabulary Acquisition

Shane ran over more excited than usual when I picked him up today. 

"Dad! You'll never guess what happened! Someone at one of the girls' tables wrote a bad word on it!" he said.

"Oh?" I replied

"Yeah! It was F-U-C-K. I don't know what it means," he said. "What does it mean? How do you say it?"

I was tempted to reply, "Sound it out."

I didn't. I was tempted, not stupid (Though the idea of Shane mispronouncing it and thinking it was "Fook!" is hilarious).

I stayed stoic and said something, like, "Yup. That was naughty. What else happened today?"

Shane moved on to the next topic and I started composing the tale in my mind. After Carrie was upset about "D-I-C-K," I'd said, "At least it wasn't an F-bomb!"

There's so much wrong, I didn't know where to start

My day started off with a student talking about how he quit work. "The bitch" had called his mom and was mad he hadn't given two weeks notice.

I decided to join the conversation.

Two things:

1 - To learn about someone, you have to listen to them and talk with them.

2 - To really listen, you have to hear what they say with their words (no matter how much profanity) and what's behind the words. You can't shut them down the moment they say something you don't like/agree with.

And so it began. I'll cut out most of the profanity.

I started by saying it was normally a good idea to give two weeks notice.

The student let me know he didn't care and that he didn't care about her being upset about it.

My reply was something along the lines, "Yeah, but it's normally to help you as much as them." I mentioned how helpful references could be and the right excuse left the bridge intact in case it was ever needed again.

"Well, she didn't give me two weeks notice when she fired me last summer."

Huh?

My student had worked for this woman last summer when he was 14. He said she had fired him when his brother told her as a joke that he was cheating on her granddaughter with a college girl.

Another student asked, "Were you cheating?"

"No, we weren't together at the time."

Then came the follow-up, "Did you bang the college chick."

"Hell, yeah! I bagged that!"

Might not have been a lie either based on some things I know about almost being a father (quote: "I could have pulled out, but...").

Eventually, I got them back on track. Things had already gone sideways and I figured I might as well try and follow through with where we started.

"So why did you work for her again?" I asked.

"I needed money, but fuck a job. There are easier ways to make money."

Which brought a new conversation where I mentioned jobs were a steady (and legal) way to earn income (that you earn a lot more with an education), but was told that selling shoes and other things got cash in hand faster.

The bell rung, and I can't say I felt like the conversation had gone swimmingly. It was only the start of the day, too!

Now, before you judge my student let me say this: Jesus loves him the same as anyone else.

That's great, because only Jesus can save him, too. I certainly don't know how to tackle a lifetime of trauma in a 10 minute conversation.

It seems to me that people frequently develop certain attitudes/beliefs without guidance/parenting. If you're always in need, you learn look out for #1 first....but I'm not talking about long-term planning. It's all short-term. What do you want now? What feels good now?  If you aren't taught to look beyond the moment, you stay in it and your emotions are law. If the logical part of your brain isn't allowed to develop due to trauma and being in a constantly heightened fight or flight state....well, I bet many of us would sound similar or at least think similar to my student.

The conversation had me thinking for a while. There's a lot of pain and cyclical/generational challenges people face. A lot of what I do at work is ask questions, listen, and don't run when their answers get messy. When they're done, I try to ask questions that promote thinking and reflection or share some of my own thoughts.

I normally don't like to post about work on the off chance anyone could connect and figure out who was talking, etc. I do think it's important to consider where other people come from and what their challenges look like. If Shane was the same age as this student and lived nearby, they would have gone to the same elementary schools. Maybe even classmates.

And every school has kids facing tough things. I tend to end up with some of the louder ones, but there are other quieter ones who slip through cracks all the time.

Genevieve and Chris for the Weekend!

Genevieve and Chris drove down Friday to spend the weekend with us! We'd given away the guest mattress, so they had to sleep on an inflatable one.

Shane wanted to show Chris and Gen our 'new' basement. Carrie put on Super Mario RPG. The flickering, electronic lights captivated Shane and we all went upstairs without him noticing. Carrie started a timer on my phone to see how long it took him to notice we were gone.....but after half an hour we decided to check on him instead!

Saturday morning, Shane played a lot more Super Mario RPG. He was the first one up, followed by Chris. I came down next, then Carrie, and then Genevieve.

Shane played a lot of that game over the course of the day (The music was a little annoying!).

We had a soccer game at 11 AM.

The size of our team:

The size of their team:

We won! It was 5-1! The kids looked fantastic! We had one loaner player (To whom I yelled, "Great job 'Loaner!'" after one play. He replied, "My name is Willey!").

Shane was almost a member of the orange team. It was coached by Hayden and Harrison's dad! Coach B wasn't there for some reason, though, so I didn't get a chance to say hi to him.

I did come away with a slight pinkening on half of my face (#GingerProblems).

Carrie had driven Chris and Gen to look at our home site while Shane and I were at the game.

We met up for lunch burritos!

Shane wanted Jersey Mike's so I walked him over to pick up a kid's meal before meeting back up with everyone.

There was funniness, goofiness, and "Shane will snuggle with anyone on a couch with a blanket" shenanigans in the house, but there was still time for neighborhood friends. I got a picture of Henry and Sam out Saturday evening...

...and Raheem played around on Sunday. They played some Mario Kart in the basement before going outside.

Throughout it all, the adults found time to nerd.

Friday, Carrie said, "Let's play a game!" If it's in the house, I enjoy it. I'm not picky. I put out a few choices and Chris picked D&D. I didn't realize neither Gen or Chris had ever played, so I asked Gen if she wanted to DM or not and then launched into DM mode.

We ended up playing off and on all weekend! Sir Tiffany the folk hero, Zazie the academic mage, and Cirilla the rogue runt started their adventuring careers. A half-deaf shopkeeper had trouble understanding Zazie, and she almost lit the group on fire a couple of times. Sir Tiffany tried to pet a wolf in the mouth, then slept in a bugbear's bed, and got lice. Cirilla had the darnedest time noticing and getting away with anything, but got the hang of sneak attacks and was the last party member standing after an owlbear attack (She had to drag everyone to safety).

I look forward to seeing what they do next time! The core rulebooks went on sale, so I might have ordered them......just in case.

Shane was really sad to see them go. He loves when we have visitors!

I love when people visit, too. Shane gets that from me.

Chris said they'd be back to ease the sting. Probably not to this house, though!

It was good to take the weekend off. The night ended with some bamboo mattocking and electronic contemplation.

Not too much longer before we're homeless.

Trivia Oversight

There's a mailing list!?

I flipped through the trivia pamphlet and actually looked at the advertisements for once. I noticed there was a sign up for a weekly mailing list.....

Have we been handicapping ourselves this whole time?

I'd say the other teams are cheating, but if we weren't smart enough to sign up for free hints.....

Not that I'm likely to do much 'homework.' I like to show up, talk, and enjoy the experience. Winning is nice, but optional.

Simple Joys

Never forget to smile about the small things.

Took the picture while doing a supply run for the weekend. I'd asked Shane to grab a cart for us.

Battletech Update

John was playing on his tablet (with his crazy expensive tablet pen) and sent a picture of his take on Shane's drawing. 

Shane's noticed that the middle wasn't the same instantly. He's got a fantastic memory. I laughed out loud and said it was a "Rainbow Raider piloted by Roy G Biv."

Shane didn't get it, so Carrie spelled it out.

We sent John a reaction picture.

It helped us wait for our food at Wegmans. This actually happened on a Tuesday. I'm sure of it, because on Tuesday kid's eat free at Wegmans! I took the price of the free kids meal and used it as the tip. Shane and I had a discussion on what tipping was and how I tried to make today a "win-win." I had saved money on the meal, so I used the money I saved to do a larger tip while still enjoying a cheaper meal.

Boys

Random pic of the day.

Shane's going to miss being on the cul de sac. We're going to have to be much more intentional about inviting friends over in our new house.

Under Pressure

There's been a lot going on lately. We have less than a month to move out of our house. There's a lot to do and SOLs at work the same week as closing. Carrie's stressed with her work, coordinating work on the future house, and moving. Shane's as high energy as ever and seemingly oblivious to Mom's stress as he bounces around.

I feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to take care of business and to keep myself grounded and level to support everything around. 

It feels overwhelming, but thankfully I'm not overwhelmed.

I feel it. I'm tired. I still haven't rescheduled my dentist appointment I cancelled the day of the home inspection. As a youth, I never understood how people could let things they wanted to take care of go, but now I do it myself. 

It threatens to feel like it's all on me, but it's not. Remembering that is part of keeping grounded. 

Jesus said, "24 Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock." (Matthew 7:24-25)

If I am centered vertically, I will be able to stand and face the horizontal. 

There are many other verses and thoughts pinging around in my mind. I pray that the Spirit sorts them out and guides my thoughts on the road they need to go.

I'm looking forward to wrapping up many of these present challenges and shifting to lots of traveling and new adventures this summer!

It's Pretty Out

Soccer practice mainly consists of the kids running around and doing whatever for half the time and then scrimmaging the other half.

Shane's flirted with standing in the goal some. He really needs to work on his punt, though. He tries to drop and kick the ball while yelling "Look out!" at every chance, but it never goes as far as he advertises.

All the boys are hands on. Shane tackled Sam here and wouldn't get off of him until I eventually walked over (It was the end of practice, at least).

The fun continued when we got home. Raheem was out. I was keeping an eye on the kids from inside.

They switched to baseball after a bit.

As much as I love the kids getting time to play and work things out on their own, it can be fun to join in sometimes! Carrie went out and hopped in!

That gave me permission to join, too!

Everyone played baseball! It went really well except for when Carrie skidded out on her way to first base. She landed on her butt and was lying flat on her back laughing when I checked on her. Once I realize she was okay, I snapped a quick picture for posterity (though, I'm not posting it here until her dignity heals).

What I find ironic through all this? Shane didn't want to do baseball this spring, but he wants to play baseball more than any other sport when he's at home.

Easter 2019

We went to the early church service for Easter. The sound mix/bass at our church has really bothered Carrie, but she was up for service after surviving a show on the ship. 

We ended up in the lobby to listen, but I was happy to have her at my side.

The weather was beautiful when we got back.

All the kids were out save Rah!

We easily could have stayed outside and played for longer, but what's Easter without an egg hunt? We discovered all of our gear was already packed away (or tossed), so I had searched for egg hunts online. There was one at a local UMC church we decided to try.

Shane wasn't into the arts and crafts beforehand.

But he's been real big on bunny ears!

We ran into a family that Carrie knows. The family has triplets who had wanted to see a horse and she invited them all out to visit Nibs for free. They picked something else up from us when we were donating items to clear out the house and now they're acquaintances. Funny how that happens.

The kids all piled out for the egg hunt at 10:30 AM after an Easter story. The eggs were empty to represent the empty tomb (and probably to save on work and prevent squabbles!).

Shane was bummed about the lack of candy, but ready to go. I think he had high hopes based off of last year at Nana's and this year wasn't up to his expectations.

The kids were off in a flash when the signal was given. It can take hours to clean up a simple mess, but kids will pick a playground full of eggs clean in under five minutes.

Shane's basket spilled under the slide and some of the other kids descended like vultures upon him. He wasn't too happy about it!

I let him climb in a tree while Carrie and the family talked. Shane worried an older woman who asked him to get down. He looked at me and I nodded. "Not our turf and some little kids are mimicking you." Carrie was a little worried, too, but I commented, "He could fall head first and not crack anything from that height," to (not) reassure her.

Shane tried to get his climb on elsewhere, but it wasn't the same.

We got smoothies and went to Lowe's afterward.

The outside fun continued when we got home. The weather was too good to take time to change.

Shane's been on a baseball kick.....which is ironic since he asked me not to sign him up for it!

I pitched some whiffle balls for him before we went inside. It was a low-key Easter, but the day still felt special to me.

A Vague Recollection

I think Carrie went to visit Nibs today....but I don't fully remember.

The pictures show that I took Shane to TKD.

His form is lackluster. His trail hand isn't on his hip at all.

It was a testing day for some of the students. We've missed a bunch of days with the cruise, but I feel like Shane should have tested himself. He should have a stripe by now.

Parenting tip: Don't help if it's something they can do and will goof off if they get done early. I helped tie the back pads, but Shane did most of the work (His missing mouthpiece was stuck to his helmet the other week! Hilarious!).

Skillwise, I wonder how I compared at this age.

I managed to arrange a play date with Sam for the afternoon.

The boys talked Pokemon cards almost the entire time. They wanted to trade. I normally don't let Shane do so, but gave it the go ahead as long as they showed me what they were up to (I wanted to make sure it was fair for both).

I let them watch a little Pokemon near the end.

Shane cooked chicken nuggets for both of them (and wasted a giant bowl of ketchup - Sam's not a ketchup fan).

I was in the weird/happy spot of listening in and not knowing what to do with myself. I like to listen in to the kids having fun and I feel accomplished when I arrange something, but I also don't want to butt in or micromanage so I stay around the corner. I think I started to play some Hearthstone.

Color Quest

John, the creative soul that he is, asked if Shane wanted to come up with a unit name and sent me an image of a Catapult CPLT-C1 for Shane to color.

And color Shane did (with some Wegman's pizza on the side).

I sent Shane's masterpiece to John.

John: "He went Roy G Biv."

Me: "So...Rainbow Raiders?"