Youth Group Update (Summer)

 Shane is the kid on the wall. If you find that surprising, you don't know Shane.

Youth Group has gone great overall, but not without bumps.

Mid-December, I got an email from Andrew that Shane had accidentally fallen onto the Spike Ball hoop and busted it. 

A pertinent snippet:
"Shane apologized to both me and Liz (cc’d), our StudentLife Coordinator, for damaging church property. Please know that he is forgiven.

We love having Shane in our ministry. His earnest heart and excitement for God are so evident. We would like to partner with you on how we can work with him on his self-regulation. The strategies I have used so far include redirecting him to the group’s task, explaining the reason for a redirection, and asking him to reflect on the impact of his behavior. Do you have any strategies you have found supportive for Shane?"

Yup, definitely my kid. 

Shane got overstimulated, ran around hyper wild, and had an oops.

I talked with Shane. We looked up the price of nets online, which turned out to be what Andrew had planned to do the next time he saw Shane (and Shane quickly pointed out he'd done already done it).

That was Mid-December. 

I've noticed that whenever I drop Shane off, Liz calls him "her buddy." I feel the leaders love Shane's enthusiasm and energy when he's on track. 

The next email I got didn't hit until March 31st (right before Spring Break). The leaders had talked and wanted to do a three strike system with Shane.

A pertinent snippet:
"Over the last several weeks, we have noticed an increase in challenging moments with Shane. The issues center around not showing respect to boundaries set by his peers and disobeying rules from leaders shortly after talking to him. Unfortunately, it has reached a point where his peers are visibly losing patience with him when he disregards their boundaries or distracts during a lesson or small group. 

We love Shane. Our desire is to see him get along well with other students and get the most out of his time in StudentLife. To help him achieve that, we would like to partner with you as we implement a new three-strike system. We recognize we haven’t had real consequences for his behavior in the past, so we would like to introduce a realistic consequence for showing disrespect to leaders and his peers. After three strikes, he will be brought to one of you for the remainder of the service or event. He is welcome back to StudentLife for the next service or event. "

Yup, still Shane. 

I've talked with Shane about the same sort of thing. He's grabby, goofy, and assumes everyone else is having as much fun as he is at all times. It's not a malicious thing at all. The difference between me and the youth leaders is I'm Dad. I don't make a request and there are consequences if I am not heeded.

I wrote back: "Clear consequences are good. He doesn't do a good job of reading subtle or indirect (whether by choice or obliviousness is up to debate). I'm normally near if you need to deliver him to me."

I told Shane the new system was coming. Then I told him if he hit Strike 3 on Wednesday we'd delay going down to Nana's.

You can call it a threat. I call it motivation. 

I prayed that I wouldn't have to follow through. I wanted to take Shane down to Nana's as much as he wanted to go. However, he knows I don't make idle threats. 

Shane got 1 strike that night. He got to go to Nana's on time! 

He's probably only had a couple strikes since,  so I'd say the new system is a success. Shane needs clear feedback and boundaries or he lets loose more than he should. It's not out of malice. Just an overabundance of energy!