Sixty degree weather? How about some outside time with friends?
Shane and I went over to spend some time with Dylan and Eli.
It's been a little bit.
It went really well until it was time to go home.
Dylan wanted to lead the way through the woods. Shane is faster. Both boys wanted to be first.
Shane ran ahead while Dylan succumbed to anger. When they got back to the house, Dylan launched an attack. He hit and kicked Shane. Shane, in a state of shock, mainly yelled, "Stop it! Ow!" When I broke it up, Dylan was still lost in anger.
Obviously, we called it a night. We were about to anyway, but that ended it for sure. Dylan's parents sent him inside and apologized. Shane wasn't hurt, but he was shocked/upset. He hadn't expected the attack. Shane and I debriefed in the car. First, I wanted him to know it was not okay for a friend to hit another. Second, I wanted Shane to realize that running ahead constantly and calling back while Dylan yelled and was getting more upset played a part.
Anyway, the plan is not to visit again until Dylan's had time to think and make a meaningful apology. The boys both have things they can learn from what happened.
I volunteer at church on Wednesday nights with the kids' program, at VBS and teaching the 4 year olds every 3rd Sunday morning. There are always some kids who make a big deal about wanting to be first in line, with lots of cutting and pushing when the kids line up. A few times, I've told the kids that Jesus said that whoever is first on earth is last in heaven. If they ask what that means, I tell them it means to not be pushy about being first. Anyway, it's a constant thing for kids in preschool and early elementary school. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing. Before Dad and I married (almost 40 years ago!), I used to enjoy playing backgammon, chess and several card games. But I soon learned that I would never win a game with your dad. He could remember what cards had been played and knew with cards could then be in the draw pile. I never had a chance, so it was not fun to play cards, chess or backgammon with him and that's why I don't play games with your dad. I am much better at verbalizing, though, so one time when played the game Taboo at the beach, my sister and I beat Dad and whoever his partner in the game was. Suzanne and I were so thrilled to have beaten him, that we were way too braggy and he got mad. So we've never played that game again either. Anyway, this is a long story to suggest that Shane might not want to run so far ahead of his friend next time so as to not dash his hope and crush his ego. And I don't think kids that age make meaningful apologies. At least I don't remember any of you kids doing that. I just told you to forgive and not let the sun go down on your anger. I always wanted you to show mercy and love without qualifications. And I had to do the same thing, too. Once Hannah cut off all the cute little gold stars off of the tree garland I had bought and I had to remind myself of that same rule. She was just a kid and chose not to make a big deal out of it. We always had the rule "Choose people over things." I love you!
ReplyDeleteWhat you said to Shane was really good. You are a great dad!
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