New Year's Eve 2022 (The Stretch!)

 We started chores way early New Year's Eve.

Because the power was out.

And it was going to be out for a while.

So we hit the road.

Really, we intended to head north before power kaputzed out. Our first stop was to look at a used Chevy Sonic.

Carrie and I started to talk about acquiring a 3rd car about a month or two ago. She was worried she was putting too many miles on the truck. We were still discussing it when Pop mentioned he was forwarding all of the kids a portion of our inheritance. "It'll be more help along the way than showing up at the end." (Or something along those lines).

The check hadn't arrived, but we had the funds and Carrie found the deal. We tried the car out, liked it, and drove it away!

I left as Carrie was finalizing the deal to meet Gen and Chris at a pho restaurant! We contacted them ahead of time to meet up, because it's been forever and a day. I've been poking Carrie to say hi to them again.

Shane was happy to chat and read Garfield comics (sometimes to himself and other times to everyone else!).

We went to a Turkish bakery for muffins for dessert (and they were fantastic). 

However, we were double-booked. I'd contacted Jama, as well. Shane and I left early to meet her while Carrie said farewell to Gen and Chris. 

I let Shane play Pokemon Go on the way in. There was a nostalgic quality to it. He used to run up and down the halls of the Woodlands chasing after them when he was younger.

We were required to mask up, but that was no big deal. I didn't want to be the one to bring germs into a retirement community anyway!

Jama's door is easily identifiable by her wreath.

Shane and I arrived and Jama yelled for hugs and red sugar. "Take those masks off, so I can see you!"

Shane and I hadn't seen Jama since May.  It'd been over a year since we were at the Woodlands. 

Ed's phone rang and he showed up a little bit later looking for it!

Not that Shane could hide from him.

Shane was happy to see everyone, but also struggling with containing his energy. He really wanted to bounce all over the place!

Carrie showed up not too long after. 

She was told to doff the mask and come in for a hug, too!

Jama loves to recount the time Carrie took her out on a "date."

We conversed, but the sugar from the muffins was clearly kicking Shane's system into high gear!

I let him run up and down the halls and check out the trains on the way out. It wasn't the longest stay, but combined with everything else it was a long day of travel.

We spent over 8 hours traveling to and around Nova. By the time we got home, the power was back on (but not for that long!).

Carrie crashed. However, I'd told Shane that he could stay up to midnight to ring in the New Year. I wasn't sure he could do it, but I knew I didn't have the energy to chase after him the whole time! I suggested we watch a movie.

We watched the Pink Panther remake with Steve Martin. Shane loved it. It turns out he likes slapstick humor just like his old man! There were 4 or 5 points were things were way more PG13 than I'd like to show him, but most of it went right over his head! When Cluezo wanted to use the "little blue pill that gave men confidence," Shane asked, "What's that pill do?" Thankfully, there was an upcoming disaster I was able to distract him with.

While we watched the movie, we had to have snacks. I forget what I cooked, but I remember that there was something on the foil that burned.

It burned and it SMOKED. Shane and I were opening windows and waving fans to keep the fire alarms from going off! It was not warm outside!

We were both exhausted, but we made it to midnight. I pulled up the ball dropping on YouTube since we don't have cable.

And right after that ball dropped I turned off the lights in Shane's room. "Happy New Year. GOOD NIGHT!"

This was followed by a round of "I love you's" and we both slept like rocks.

Another year accomplished!

Ask Questions! Don't Lecture! (The Stretch!)

Shane loves to talk. Not so much to listen.

As a teacher, as a parent, kids don't just do what you tell them. I frequently tell Shane, "Ask questions!"

He probably gets it from me. He's an only kid and asked a lot of questions growing up. I'm a teacher, so...I teach. I don't think I drone on, but maybe to a toddler with five words worth of patience it could've seemed that way.

Still, at this point it is awkward when Shane tries to explain things to me I already know. 

Sometimes right after I just explained it to him! Like a parrot!

He does the same thing with comics. He'll want to verbally explain a Far Side comic. Nevermind that I remember it and say the punchline. Shane will want to talk through the whole thing!

I'm his dad so I love spending time with him, but droning on and on is NOT a good social skill. 

I know Shane does it with kids his age, because I hear him do it to Cole when they're on the phone. He'll do it while we're at Dylan's, or at a soccer practice. Once Shane starts talking, he doesn't do stopping!

Which needs to change. He's an extrovert and loves to be around people, but poor social skills will drive them off. 

So I tell Shane to "Ask questions."

It goes beyond taking turns in a conversation. 

Dale Carnegie taught me that learning about a person shows you care. Those aren't the exact words. I haven't touched How to Win Friends and Influence People since Nana offered me cash to read it in high school. However, one of the early chapters stuck with me. It talked about the value of learning someone's name. It's a small feat, but it shows someone you think they're valuable enough to remember. 

If showing someone you can learn their name works, how much more would hearing what they have to say and remembering it go?

Nana was the one who first explicitly told me: "People like to talk about themselves." She pointed out Jama. Jama gets along with a lot of people, because she asks questions and then is interested to hear the answers (I'm not going to say she also likes to repeat the best bits, but people do tell her all sorts of things!).

Biblically, there's a verse in Galatians that's often paraphrased down into "to know and be known." It's referring to a relationship with God, but, as people are made in God's image, I believe it can be applied on the human scale, too. 

People want to feel like they're valued and belong. Knowing their name, their interests, and having some inside jokes makes them feel comfortable and valued. It works in reverse, too! People feel more comfortable when they know the names, interests, and commonalities with the people around them.

In Shane's case, he tries to create that feeling by talking non-stop. I like that he always has something to say, but if he wants to plug in with those around him he's got to ask questions and listen more. THEN, the next step is if he remembers what people tell him he can bring it up. 

Shane has the drive and interest in connecting with other people (100% extrovert!), so I feel like he should be the one asking questions to start the conversation. It's a simple change that I hope he will learn to see the value of. I've seen him struggle with making new friends at times. He's a great kid with a ton to offer as a friend....but being a friend is a skill. Asking questions and listening is a fundamental part of it.

I just wrote a lecture on asking questions. I swear I don't drone on like this in person. How is your day? Anything interesting going on? I can ask questions! Don't you believe me?

Lots of Drop-ins (The Stretch!)

Ernie's been on Carrie's watchlist. He colicked last winter. We submerge his food in water to force him to drink more. When I saw Ernie head out to the waterer, I kept Eddie in his stall until Ernie finished. 

It's been cold, but we had more sun today. The horses enjoyed basking in it!

Same for the dogs. Kila begs to be let outside! She comes running the moment anyone approaches a door (Save for the laundry room - That door is still terrifying!).

Kila's still a fraidy-cat. She was trying to hide beneath my feet when something scared her here.

That something was Dylan!

Dylan and Eli made the trip to see us for a change.

Shane got out all the animals. All of them.

Dylan's good with dogs. Eli was a little wild-man. That was fine with Loki, but Kila refused to leave my shadow with Eli roaring and crawling around, ha!

She felt a little safer outside since no one could catch her if they wanted to.

The kids were able to be as loud as they wanted, because Carrie wasn't home.

She brought a new friend with her when she arrived. The other horses instantly went on alert when they heard noises coming from the trailer.

It was Bo!

Carrie drove up to Culpeper to pick him up. 

She called me out to help while John stayed with the boys.

Really, all I did was videotape!

Carrie locked Maddie up with some hay, so we could escort the babies out to their lot together.

Both ponies are around six months, so they're not baby babies anymore.

Baby horses naturally cling to each other. Felix and Bo were no exception.

The distance between two horses is a simple way to gauge how much they like each other.

Bo and Felix clung to each other like Velcro. Carrie couldn't be happier!

Meanwhile, the boys were still working out their energy. Eli wanted to play Kirby.

Dylan was enamored with the dogs.

Everyone got involved with electronics in time for Carrie to come into a much calmer house. 

John didn't stay too long with the boys. They had places to go, errands to do, and we're 45 minutes south. He did give me some homemade limoncello as a parting gift.  

Whenever I wasn't working and taking pictures, I got some writing in. Shane got more electronics than usual so that I could keep at it. I didn't feel bad about using electronics to babysit him. We'd been active enough over break I felt we were living life and not just letting it roll by.