But it's a GOOD thing!? (Wrote 12/18?)

Tuesday, I heard a story about a teacher who got upset and went home. Some students had been loitering when they were supposed to be in class. Someone told them to clear the halls and one of the students made a huge stink of, "How dare you!" 

It got loud enough to draw in other teachers. The student double-downed and let everyone know THEY were in the wrong for trying to get him to go to class. ("I have a pass, but I won't show YOU."). One teacher (mentioned above) who'd come to help was so upset they left school (and it was first block!). They teacher was an experienced veteran. Not a newbie.

My first thought was, "You can't just go home!" Why, I saw a student loitering last week! I told the student to go to class and was told to "Mind my own!" I didn't go home!

Flash forward to today: 2nd block was almost over and I got an confrontational email from a parent who wanted a conference the first week after break. I felt the last drops of gas run out of my fuel tank. Fumes were all that was left and I knew it. I still had one class, a pep rally, and wrestling practice to go, but wasn't sure if I had it in me.

I didn't leave the building, but I felt a lot more empathy in that moment. 

I was a zombie for planning. I prayed and did my best to rally until the end. Hallelujah for winter break!

I'm tired and still feeling close to empty as I write this, but I think hitting the end of my reserves was a good thing. It shows I'm giving it my all. Anytime you try to do something worthwhile there will be resistance. Running out of fuel is my proof that I haven't been holding back or coasting.

It would've been better to burn that last drop at the bell, but it's impossible to time everything perfect. God saw me through. 

Now it's break. I have some time to recover, and, God willing, He will see me through when I go back. I'll deal with the parents wanting a conference and the semester will end after 13 more classes (Less if there's snow!). 

Last year, there was a parent mad at me over break, too. She accused me of targeting her daughter, because I wrote the kid up for taking 30 minute bathroom breaks and sneaking out of school after telling a principal she'd go back to class (amongst other incidents). There's always a crisis somewhere when trying to keep teenagers accountable. I can look forward to some homegrown ones as Shane nears that stage!

So while I didn't feel great to hit my limits, I can reflect on it and see the positive. With enough rest and hindsight, I trust God will help align my feelings with that thought. 

I pray that God will use this break to recharge me. And when break ends, I pray that he'll see me through wrestling season, and the rest of the year! I've got to stay employed for 6.5 more years if I want Shane to see me employed until he graduates! Around four more after that if he goes for a Bachelor's degree, but who's counting?