Trending Negative

Overall, Shane's a happy, effusive kid. However, it feels like his thinking has become more negative in some areas. 

Is Shane starting to exhibit the warning signs of the teenage years? Or is it from school? Or something else? 

For example: Youth Group. I mentioned to Shane I'm excited he'll be old enough for youth group soon. I want to hype it up some, but it's the honest truth. 

Shane's response? "I don't want to do it," "I won't like it," and "Only if a family member did it with me" (aka Cole).

It was a strong response, so I asked some probing questions. Shane said that kids at his school did it, hated it, and had bruises and scars.

"What grade are you in?" I asked.

Shane sensed something in the question, but answered after a moment. "5th..."

"Youth group is for 6th graders and older. How did anyone at your school do something for 6th graders and up?" (Shane's school only goes to 5th grade).

Shane was more open to what I had to say afterward. I told him I liked youth group some as a kid, but the way he was wired he'd really like it. I told him he wouldn't be alone, because I'd probably volunteer since I had to drive him all the way out to it anyway.

I doubt anyone at Shane's school mentioned anything about youth group. It's possible, but it feels more like Shane manufacturing reasons to not like something before trying it. 

Yes, he has done that in the past. 

Shane's complained about movies, tv series, video games, and given all sorts of reasons for why he won't like something before he does it. A nearly equal amount of times he's been persuaded or coerced into doing the thing he complained about only to change his tune to one of praises and exhortations for more.

It's been on my mind lately, so the times it happens stand out more. 

A week after the youth group comment, Shane brought up Triple R Camp on the way to church. He said he didn't want to go again. When I asked why, he said he didn't want to hit his head again.

"Shane, you can't rubberize the world."

Shane loved camp. He asked if he could go back again before summer ended. He jumped off the diving board at the local pool many, many, MANY times after he got back from camp. 

When Shane said he didn't want to go back to summer camp (in winter!), it felt like he was trying to manufacture excuses.

He did the same thing when I talked about signing up for the pool again this summer. Shane said, "Nah," to which I replied, "What do you mean, 'Nah?'" Shane loved the pool all last summer. It did end on a sour note where I wanted him to apologize to a kid (and I intend to make him say something nice if we see the family again), but Shane's a swimmer. He loves the water.

Developing and dealing with insecurity is a hallmark of the teenage years. Shane's right on the cusp of that fun-ness, so maybe these are signs that those years are coming. I think Shane's more anxious/cautious than I was as a kid, but I know I was great at overthinking and reading into things, too. I probably don't remember just how great, because I've 'enhanced' my image of the younger me over time.

So...yeah. Something I was thinking about and even scribbled a few notes down on.