A Week of Grieving

It was a quiet week. Aside from chores and a small project roping off the gravel dust pile, Carrie mostly stayed inside.

She made sure she was inside if anyone came by the barn. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet (especially any horse people who she thought would really know how she felt). Carrie stopped answering her phone to anyone she knew (text or call). I went out to greet and chat with any of the boarders who came by. 

And for the most part, it was fine like that. We got a little rain. The horses ate a lot of grass. Eowyn seemed fine.

For the most part, Carrie didn't want to talk about Kitsune. She knew it was going to hurt, and she wasn't ready to do it. I would have been more worried about her being isolated, but I was there and she clung to me even if she wasn't willing to verbally process yet. We did have a good talk Friday morning. There were tears and it took much of the energy out of her for the rest of the day, but those sort of talks are part of the healing. 

We probably would've stayed home all week, but we realized a couple of days late we'd forgotten about our anniversary. That really bothered Carrie. No matter how much I assured her we had other things on our mind, she wanted to do something to make up for missing it (Which I was fine with, I just didn't want guilt to be part of the package).

Wednesday, we went and saw Lightyear at the Alamo Drafthouse. Carrie loved the cat (and I have to agree it was probably the best part of the movie!). 

After the movie, we went by Dollar Tree to pick up some supplies for Shane to take to camp (including cheap flip flops for the pool). Carrie squealed when she saw the cashier's shirt was a Saiki reference.

I don't have many pictures from the rest of the week. We watched Ms. Marvel and a lot of anime. I made sure to be available and by Carrie as much as I could (as did some of the cats). I wanted to make sure she knew she was loved and I was ready to help however and whenever I could.

It's going to take time. It's part of grieving. I wish Carrie would reach out more to others and I was trying to subtly push her to respond to her mom, Gay, and anyone and everyone, but for the moment Carrie ran on silent. I knew that would change eventually, though. She views herself as a loaner, but she's built up more of a support network than I think she realizes.