Kids Need Other Kids

I am of two minds whenever I see Raheem knock on our front door.

1st Mind: "Woo-hoo! A friend!"

2nd Mind: "Do I really have the energy for this right now?"

I wish I could write the selfless 1st always drowned out the selfish 2nd.

It's a lot of work for Shane to have a friend over. You have to supervise, talk-through disagreements, role-model, play along, and sometimes provide ideas/entertainment. The age difference makes Raheem take more effort on my part than Daniel did.

The flip side is that a friend makes things more fun for everyone. I never expected to hike a trail, introduce twister or teach anyone HORSE, but I regret none of it.

I believe kids need other kids. I cannot feel the same level of excitement as Shane when we find a grasshopper. I can fake it pretty well and I love to share it vicariously, but it's not the same as another child's joy. Also, I am an authority figure. Shane has to interact differently with me. He cannot learn how to play, argue, and patch through differences like he would with a friend or an equal. I try to hang back some and give Shane and whoever he plays with leeway to make their own decisions and experiences.

John the Baptist comes to mind. When he was asked how he felt about people following Jesus he said, "He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30).  I feel the same is true for me. My job is to help when needed and start him off, but he's got to grow into his own man eventually.

In the meantime, I'm here. My parents made friends look easy. They must have been constantly exhausted. We had neighborhood kids over all the time.

I hope the effort I put in now helps when Shane is more independent. I also hope that we can be a blessing in Raheem's life.

PS - I had to get up right before I posted. Raheem knocked. He's got a whistle and waiting for nap/quiet time to end. How's that for timing?